Anonymous wrote:It’s ocd and you need to do therapy with an ocd specialist don’t saddle your kid with that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sounds like what he shared is valid
Work on it - seek therapy.

Will say .. now that you’re a parent.. You’re going to be faced with plenty of non perfect situations you absolutely can’t control. Saddle up.

I’m not a parent yet. I’m due next month. I really wanted a vaginal birth but I’m crushed now that we will have a scheduled c-section. I really wanted to avoid a c-section unless it was an emergency.

I know I’m hard to handle and like things the way I do. I think my issues stem from growing up in a dysfunction home with a very critical mom and stepdad who had no issues talking about people ( including me) if I was single for too long, gained weight, not making enough money, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to do when your kid isn't perfect? When your kid doesn't behave exactly how you want? When they aren't how you want them to be?

I’m fine with that. My child doesn’t go be perfect. I don’t expect people to be perfect. I just like things like cooking, a party I throw, my home, etc., to be perfect. I want to have the most perfect welcome home for our baby.

Anonymous wrote:Where’s OP? It’s been 6 hours and no response. I really think it’s a troll throwing out some provocative nonsense.

Anonymous wrote:What are you going to do when your kid isn't perfect? When your kid doesn't behave exactly how you want? When they aren't how you want them to be?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sounds like what he shared is valid
Work on it - seek therapy.

Will say .. now that you’re a parent.. You’re going to be faced with plenty of non perfect situations you absolutely can’t control. Saddle up.

I’m not a parent yet. I’m due next month. I really wanted a vaginal birth but I’m crushed now that we will have a scheduled c-section. I really wanted to avoid a c-section unless it was an emergency.

I know I’m hard to handle and like things the way I do. I think my issues stem from growing up in a dysfunction home with a very critical mom and stepdad who had no issues talking about people ( including me) if I was single for too long, gained weight, not making enough money, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am/was a perfectionist. I work hard to make everything go perfectly. Then when, inevitably, something doesn't go perfectly I get into a funk. (What is the saying: Man plans and God laughs??)

I wasn't able to change my behavior no matter what anyone said to me because it was my way of trying to maintain control. To avoid disaster. To avoid bad things. To make my life seem beautiful and harmonious. But then someone said something that I hadn't heard before. That I wasn't that I wanted to be so buttoned up and that was admirable (which is how I always thought of it as) but instead I was a catastrophist. Someone who is always worrying about the worst possible outcome (whether is was likely or not) and that by being a perfectionist I made myself feel better that I was going to avoid bad outcomes. Only sometimes bad outcomes happen anyway.

I proudly thought of myself as a great planner, not afraid of hard work, doing whatever it took. But I did not like to think of myself as someone who was mired in (deep down) catastrophic worries. That has helped me help myself change. It helped me realize that my mother did this in our unstable home. And I was determined to make sure I didn't pass it along to my own children.

I think you are being too hard on yourself. There are definitely some lines of work where this kind of perfectionism is really valued and reinforced, and bet that you were in one. I know that it is in school. My daughter’s teachers are always telling her to do her best, and we have had a lot of talks about what is a reasonable amount of effort to put into her schoolwork and that her teachers don’t mean to do your best to the exclusion of other things or to the point that you are driving everyone else around you crazy.

This trait is not good or bad in itself. It’s something that serves you well at certain times of life and something that you have to learn to let go of at other times.

Anonymous wrote:NP. I am/was a perfectionist. I work hard to make everything go perfectly. Then when, inevitably, something doesn't go perfectly I get into a funk. (What is the saying: Man plans and God laughs??)

I wasn't able to change my behavior no matter what anyone said to me because it was my way of trying to maintain control. To avoid disaster. To avoid bad things. To make my life seem beautiful and harmonious. But then someone said something that I hadn't heard before. That I wasn't that I wanted to be so buttoned up and that was admirable (which is how I always thought of it as) but instead I was a catastrophist. Someone who is always worrying about the worst possible outcome (whether is was likely or not) and that by being a perfectionist I made myself feel better that I was going to avoid bad outcomes. Only sometimes bad outcomes happen anyway.

I proudly thought of myself as a great planner, not afraid of hard work, doing whatever it took. But I did not like to think of myself as someone who was mired in (deep down) catastrophic worries. That has helped me help myself change. It helped me realize that my mother did this in our unstable home. And I was determined to make sure I didn't pass it along to my own children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sounds like what he shared is valid
Work on it - seek therapy.

Will say .. now that you’re a parent.. You’re going to be faced with plenty of non perfect situations you absolutely can’t control. Saddle up.

I’m not a parent yet. I’m due next month. I really wanted a vaginal birth but I’m crushed now that we will have a scheduled c-section. I really wanted to avoid a c-section unless it was an emergency.

I know I’m hard to handle and like things the way I do. I think my issues stem from growing up in a dysfunction home with a very critical mom and stepdad who had no issues talking about people ( including me) if I was single for too long, gained weight, not making enough money, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Oh dear. Sounds like you need to change ASAP. Its truly suffocating living with a rigid perfectionist like yourself. I think therapy might help.