Anonymous wrote:Everything aside this shouldn’t have happened bc it’s ridiculous to ask someone if your kid can come over at 6am and sit in their home for two hours.

No it’s not? I’m sure the people who say this kind of thing are also the posters complaining that raising kids today is so hard. Yeah, it’s hard for you because you’re insufferable. Most people aren’t and are glad to help young families. Go live in a cave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hang on, your daughter who is 12 years old was scared of the dark or being alone?? I mean, I probably wouldn’t tease her but jeez.

My 15yo is scared of being alone out too, pretty normal

Omg this is SO not normal.

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is old enough to babysit. She should have turned on a light and some music and gone about her morning. She shouldn't have needed them at all. It's okay for her to have been gently teased.

I kind of agree. She seems infantalized.

I have a 12yo DD with adhd.
We leave her alone a few hours here and there.
Once I had a similar situation to you when spouse was out of town and I had to leave at 530am. DD was getting picked up for school by a friend at 8am.
We are also friendly with neighbors and she knows she can go to any of them in an emergency.
However, if I thought she would be scared of the dark or being alone that early I wouldn’t have left my kid. I’d have found a plan B.
Your kid needs to build up her confidence

Everything aside this shouldn’t have happened bc it’s ridiculous to ask someone if your kid can come over at 6am and sit in their home for two hours.

Not old enough to be left alone because it's scary to her and now she can't feel safe at the neighbors.

She's not old enough to be left alone.

Tell the neighbor and his wife the jokes scared your daughter. More.

Proceed accordingly.

OP, next time don’t have your dd wake up so early. Certainly she doesn’t need 2 hours to get ready? She should have woken up at the normal time, or as late as possible to still make the bus. Then you could have avoided her being awake in the dark and alone. I also think you are feeding the anxiety by even offering to come up with this strange plan. That just plants the seed in your dd’s head that yes she shouldn’t want to be home alone, there’s a reason to be scared, etc. I also have a 12 year old girl and teaching resilience and confidence is really important. It’s great for them to conquer fears and realize there’s no need for anxiety. Were you commuting for part of it and could have been reachable? If so, you should have just reassured your dd to call or text with anything.

I think my kids would be far more worried about “wandering” out in the dark to a stranger’s house rather than just staying inside at home. Why couldn’t she just read a book? Can she amuse herself for 2 hours on a regular day? I can’t believe that a kid who was actually scared would wander outside in the dark. Sounds much more likely that you’ve given her some strange ideas about not being able to do this because it’s dark outside (like who cares?). And the old man was just trying to be nice because he thought your 12 year old was being ridiculous.

He teased her because she's 12 not 6. He assumed she could take it. Tell your daughter he meant no harm and thank your neighbors for the favor and get a babysitter next time because your daughter is obviously not ready to be left alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They did you a favor. The man was trying to be funny in that old man way.

This. Of course your 12 year old thinks he’s “cringe”.

+1 they did you a favor so you say thank you

If your DD didn't like being there, pursue a different option in the future

Anonymous wrote:She’s 12. She should be able to handle light teasing.

You thank the neighbors (who welcomed her in without complaint!) and work with your DD on staying home alone. Your DD should also thank them.

Agree. Just because I'm up doesn't mean I'm willing to have other people come into my house. This could have been a really big imposition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They did you a favor. The man was trying to be funny in that old man way.

Yeah, grandpa humor is the worst.

My dad still flicks our ears and says "oh, a bug got ya!" and cackles b/c he thinks it's hilarious.

Or says things like "how much does it cost to buy pants without holes in them?" or to my DD "what medical condition causes you to wear a hoodie year round?" And the timeless favorite at Christmastime or when a birthday rolls around and I send over some ideas of what the kid wants: I could build/make that cheaper. "Give me a Sharpie and I'll make him 30 pairs of Jordans!"

My FIL lives with us and says stuff like this. My kids hate it!

The sun is up at 6:30am these days. It shouldn't have been dark? Unless you aren't in DC?

Anonymous wrote:They did you a favor. The man was trying to be funny in that old man way.

This. Of course your 12 year old thinks he’s “cringe”.