Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On the odd occasion when I wonder whether I would have been happier married with kids, I think about the thousands - tens of thousands? - of hours that I didn’t spend housekeeping cooking shopping laundering etc. for kids AND a grown ass man engaging in weaponized incompetence.

I wouldn’t have minded caring for kids, and I would have been teaching them the life skills early so they could pitch in and not be like their entitled daddy. I would have seethed with rage over every moment I spent doing an unfair division of household labor so my husband could buy his leisure at my expense and I would have found him physically répugnant and emotionally and intellectually uninteresting because how does one love one’s oppressor?

I don’t get how men don’t figure this out. I guess they do and just don’t care. It’s all so disgusting.

I’m a tidy person by nature and don’t mind cleaning up after myself and the dog who is always happy to give me love and affection. I cook elaborate meals when I want and have popcorn for dinner when I don’t - it’s actually a very healthy meal if you don’t drown it in butter.

I’m angry that the vast majority of women have to suck up the servitude if they want kids and a dual income household. Women need to start raising better sons.

Dads have no role here?

Anonymous wrote:Right now I cook and clean because I am a longtime SAHM and I fully agree that is part of the “deal.” However, once my husband retires, we will be sharing household duties equally. I will cook and clean as much as he does, which I am suspecting will not be much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized over the last few months that I absolutely hate cooking and cleaning. I’ve been doing less of them, and the less I do, the happier I feel.

I didn’t mind them when I was single because it was just me and it took maybe 15 minutes a day. But I hate cleaning an entire house and trying to feed 4 people.

I’m heavily leaning towards just hiring a housekeeper and meal delivery services for myself. The kids are picky and I’m happy to spend 5 minutes making a sandwich and sliced veggies. H would have to fend for himself for dinner. I make more money than H and can afford meal delivery for myself but not for both of us (but if he wants to pay for his that’s fine).

Anyone done anything like this? H made dinner tonight, which means I’m on dish duty, but I’m looking at this massive pile of dishes, pots, pans, the blender is out, sauces and spills on the counter and floors, and just thinking….im tired of wasting hours of my life feeding and cleaning up after people.

You should not be a parent.
You should not be a wife.
You should live alone in a reclusive environment. You’ll be happier.

OP. True, I don’t like being a wife. I do enjoy my kids, though.

I think the ideal is if it was just my kids and me. I’d downsize and simplify. But with H we need a bigger house, more food, etc. and unfortunately since H isn’t career focused, it lands on me.

Which is fine. I actually really love working. But I hate working AND having to care for another adult.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, tons of lazy and pathetic people on this post…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would seriously buy meal delivery for yourself but not your H and make him pay for it himself? Do you even like him? How do families like this manage?

+1

Anonymous wrote:OP - I get it. I've been a parent for 22 years and meal planning/cooking/cleaning sucks for sure. BUT....it seems you have little kids. They won't (and shouldn't!!!) eat sandwiches for dinner for the rest of their lives. They deserve an opportunity to have a well rounded diet and try all kinds of foods. They also deserve a family that works together, sits down, eats the same meal, and shows love for one another. Love is not shown by ordering yourself a meal service and telling everyone else to figure it the f out on their own. The kids should be helping you cook, shop, and plan. You shoul dbe talking to your husband about how to manage this together. This is how you raise adults.

You sound beyond selfish and immature. You're not setting a good example of what it is to be a family.
Outsource cleaning, absolutely split duties with your husband and kids. Put on music, pour a glass of wine or cup of tea, and enjoy these years because you will miss them (or maybe not, from the sounds of your personality).

Anonymous wrote:Let’s get real for a second.

Your life sounds wildly out of balance and this is just a symptom of a deeper malaise. If basic tasks like cleaning and making supper for your family is overwhelming you, you need to really take a look at what your life and reevaluate some of your choices. This isn’t about a housekeeper and a meal prep kit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized over the last few months that I absolutely hate cooking and cleaning. I’ve been doing less of them, and the less I do, the happier I feel.

I didn’t mind them when I was single because it was just me and it took maybe 15 minutes a day. But I hate cleaning an entire house and trying to feed 4 people.

I’m heavily leaning towards just hiring a housekeeper and meal delivery services for myself. The kids are picky and I’m happy to spend 5 minutes making a sandwich and sliced veggies. H would have to fend for himself for dinner. I make more money than H and can afford meal delivery for myself but not for both of us (but if he wants to pay for his that’s fine).

Anyone done anything like this? H made dinner tonight, which means I’m on dish duty, but I’m looking at this massive pile of dishes, pots, pans, the blender is out, sauces and spills on the counter and floors, and just thinking….im tired of wasting hours of my life feeding and cleaning up after people.

You should not be a parent.
You should not be a wife.
You should live alone in a reclusive environment. You’ll be happier.

DP. You cannot put them back, ya know? And why is being a wife thought of as someone who cleans and cooks forever and for everybody. I recently saw a meme about a wife in the kitchen with a text "I never thought that once I marry it means I'll have to cook until you die". I mean seriously. Nobody thinks of a husband like that. I'm with the OP. I also don't like to cook nor to clean. But I can cook and I am clean, I just use very few things (as someone said, their DH uses 4 pots-pans every time), which means I mostly have to cook for others and clean after others. It also irks me that DH eats about 4x as much as I do, which means if I'd just cook for myself, I could eat for a week from what I cook once, not one day. I think a lot of wives stop cooking daily once the nest is empty.