Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 23:40     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
First, this sucks.

Second, you honestly don't get points for never calling in sick or never using your PTO. Use it. Life is short. Stop begrudging others for using it.

Thirdly, please don't follow OP's advice and just drop your kid off before school with no supervision. That's not allowed at any school. I wish we had staffing to provide supervision outside to families in need, but we just don't, and the school can't be responsible for her safety.

Third, who can you pay in your circle of availability? For instance, we have LOTS of young teachers at my kid's sxhoomwho's be happy to get paid $50/hour to babysit your kid before school for two weeks. Or maybe your kids' friends have siblings in high school and would live a temp gig for two weeks.

If you can afford private school, presumably you can blow a few hundred bucks on a backup plan?

I don't at all mean to say it doesn't suck. It really does. But please don't think you earned this because of your virtue as a stellar employee. It's okay to take leave. No one is going to your perfect attendance record on your gravestone when you die an early death from stress and self-righteousness.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 22:38     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
OP, I'm sorry you are in this situation.

I'd probably take one week off and have my mom come in for the other week. If that won't work, I'd cobble together care

I assume it was you who posted that you have a 6 year old. I will say that this should be a wake up call that this will be an issue with this employer if your spouse has to be gone again for their job. Meaning, I'd get care in place, find a new job, or make sure your spouse won't be out of pocket like this more than once a year.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 22:31     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.



NP and I have always been able to use my vacation time so long as deadlines are met. I have never heard of someone not being able to use their vacation time outside of something like nursing where shifts are scheduled far in advance.


You're in a professional position where you can likely set pretty flexible hours as long as you complete your assignments. There are a ton of other jobs (like your nursing example) that depend on a person being in a work setting at specific times and it's not easy to get someone to fill in for an hour here or there at the bottom and top of the day. Even many office jobs are that way. If our receptionist/office manager is out from 5-6, there will be a lot of people inconvenienced and less productive, themselves.




I have to assume OP has enough self awareness that she wouldn't be asking to flex her hours if she is in a public-facing position that requires coverage.


Based on her responses here, I'm not sure there is a basis for that assumption.


Hi. We get it that you're a miserable curmudgeon. You can stop posting now. There are probably kids on your lawn or something.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 19:59     Subject: Re:Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your employer sounds like a d*ck, and unnecessarily a hardass.


Yeah this is a jerk employer. This is the kind of thing that would make me start looking around for a new job. Sorry ugh


Not necessarily. There isn’t just one employee at this company. The employer’s hands may be tied due giving one employee a flex schedule for two weeks would open a Pandora’s box of every employee being entitled to this new perk. Then when it is denied to someone else that person sues based on some sort of discrimination cry. Employers aren’t always heartless and when you’ve been on the other side of the coin it isn’t easy. We once had an employee (who was extremely well treated btw) ask for time off to travel during the busiest season of the year when he really needed to be there. When that was denied he faked an on-site back injury and filed for workers’ comp. Fun times.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 19:50     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:OP, more details here would help.

What is your line of work? Healthcare field? Desk job? Shift worker?

Would FMLA cover this request? i.e., it can't be declined?




FMLA doesn’t apply for taking your healthy kids to school.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 19:43     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Why don’t you have after care?

There are lots of options for that. You could ask to start your day later, and have the taekwondo folks pick your kid up.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 18:48     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
OP what is your job? Agree that it sounds like a health care type job. Because otherwise why would the start and stop times be so rigid?
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 18:08     Subject: Re:Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:Your employer sounds like a d*ck, and unnecessarily a hardass.


Yeah this is a jerk employer. This is the kind of thing that would make me start looking around for a new job. Sorry ugh
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 17:43     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:First of all, what school? That way maybe others can help you.

Second, just drop your child at school on your way to work. They can sit on a bench outside school and wait for whatever time they open. No they cant- the kid is 6. Our school would have serious issues if a parent dropped their kid off before the drop off time. Drop off time starts at 810 for a start time of 830. Kids are not allowed to arrive prior to that.

Same in the afternoon, if they don't have drop in study hall $. Then tell your kid that mom will be 1/2 hour later then normal. So hang out on the playground or whatever.

Yes you will need to fins a new job with respects your dedication and contribution, but in the short term just drop your kid early.

Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 17:03     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
You need to hire help. That's a big request.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 16:54     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
I would do a combo of sick days and asking a couple parents for help. I certainly would have help (and did help) people with situations like these. Just thank them by taking the kids to the zoo one weekend or something.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 16:49     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
OP, more details here would help.

What is your line of work? Healthcare field? Desk job? Shift worker?

Would FMLA cover this request? i.e., it can't be declined?


Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:52     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you're getting a little lack of sympathy because pre-covid this is an issue that all working parents had to figure out. It was a pain; it was expensive.

But what's kind of unique in your situation is that it seems like it is a bit sudden and you're not looking for a long term solution but a make-do solution. In many ways that makes it a lot easier since the 'costly' solutions won't add up to a ton of $$ for only two weeks (thus, the lack of sympathy). But it also means that a lot of solutions the rest of us relied on aren't in play. I'm sure it seems daunting to hire a stranger to drive your kid. But if you don't want to bug friends/neighbors, that's the other option.



NP and I have always been able to use my vacation time so long as deadlines are met. I have never heard of someone not being able to use their vacation time outside of something like nursing where shifts are scheduled far in advance.


I’m a nurse and I bet OP is also a healthcare worker who fits into an intricate coverage schedule, and that’s why the employer sometimes says “no” — even though we are college-educated, well-compensated professionals. I can’t just announce that I will be arriving 2 hours late for the next X weeks because I have PTO. If that type of thing flew, and all of us took advantage, your mother will get substandard medical care. You will lay there in excruciating pain after your knee replacement because we all took PTO and your meds will just have to wait

All to say OP, if you are part of a healthcare puzzle, you knew the deal going in. Hire pricey short-term care.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:52     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I need to arrive an hour late and leave 30 mins early for the next two weeks. This is child care related while my spouse is basically deployed. My employer said they 'can't' allow it. I've offered to use PTO or make up the hours later at night.

I've been here for 8 years and literally never once called in sick.

Short of just saying 'f^^k you' and walking, what can I do?


What is basically deployed? You either are or you aren't.

TDY isn't deployed.


NP. Plenty of us are feds/contractors who work on crises around the world. There's short notice. My spouse has been gone for months at a time. I rarely bring it up because people only have sympathy for military.


+1. MY DW is one of the top infectious disease SMEs in the entire world. She was pretty much gone in SEA all of 2021 and a good chunk of 2022.

Take a wild guess and imagine how supportive people were to me when I was single parenting 3 kids under 8 during that time.

Hint- any mention of it by me and people took it as whining. Meanwhile- the bosses admin, who had a DH deployed in a non combat role and just one kid (who was 13), had meal trains organized for her every month.

The double standard was so appalling I've lost all respect for my colleagues.
Anonymous
Post 04/21/2025 15:48     Subject: Employer Forbidding Short Term Schedule Adjustment
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I need to arrive an hour late and leave 30 mins early for the next two weeks. This is child care related while my spouse is basically deployed. My employer said they 'can't' allow it. I've offered to use PTO or make up the hours later at night.

I've been here for 8 years and literally never once called in sick.

Short of just saying 'f^^k you' and walking, what can I do?


What is basically deployed? You either are or you aren't.

TDY isn't deployed.


NP. Plenty of us are feds/contractors who work on crises around the world. There's short notice. My spouse has been gone for months at a time. I rarely bring it up because people only have sympathy for military.


Yeah sometimes I have to take my dog to the vet but I just tell everyone I’m deployed instead. You know…for sympathy