Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 14:48     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is why men prefer virgins, she won’t compare you with every other guy she’s boned.

I’m not saying it’s right but it does have some logic to it.

Preferring virgins is absolutely the right thing to do unless the person has been previously married. Having sex with someone other than your spouse is a huge sin.

Really?
Am I going to burn in hell forever?
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 14:30     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried coaching him through improving your sex life? Is he open to that?

Some men have never received feedback and opportunity to become better lovers.


I have and sex isn’t that good. Vanilla sex is pretty good but I’m not a vanilla kind of girl sometimes. I prefer a little rough. He tries but he’s just not that guy. He seems timid to call me names or get rough.

Great guy, otherwise.


Genuine question but do you have a history of CSA or heavy porn usage? I find a lot of women that NEED choking or violence or lots of "kink" during sex developed their sex drives while watching porn, and are therefore always viewing themselves through a porn lense during sex. If they guy isnt throwing them around, spitting on them, etc, they dont feel the heat and passion. Whereas a lot of men who have genuine emotion and love for a woman dont want to hurt them... which makes perfect sense, logically.

A really "good in bed" person can adapt to different sexual styles, get off in different ways, and listen to their partner's preferences as well. It may not be that your partner is bad in bed, but that you are. And you might try laying off porn or unpacking when/how you developed these tendencies, and try to return your sexuality to a more honest, raw place, without the pretense of all the pornified behavior.


Good advice.


Terrible advice. Completely off-mark about female sexuality and reasons why some women like rough sex or bdsm. Also, BDSM and role play is not equal to "rough'. I am kinky but I need gentle pressure all around my body and feeling hopeless in his hands, but hate rough "pounding" and hair pulling

Women like to be tied up, their neck held tight, pressed into bed during the act because it's very primal, they felt like that as babies in craddle, and also brain section responsible for the pain is close to the section responsible for pleasure in some people.

Sexuality is what you are born with, not getting from porn.


If this was true men would like the same exact stuff. The reality is a lot of this is cultural conditioning from porn and what women think men will find hot, then their sexuality becomes wired along these lines and it's the only way for them to feel attractive. They become porn brained and unable to connect and be vulnerable during sex, which is what is really "hot" and erotic
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 14:25     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
I married young - he was my first/only and I was only his second. We were college sweethearts. Anyway, I think I was married 5 years before I orgasmed. I had never masturbated so I wasn’t even sure. DH must have read up or something because he figured out how to do it but I never knew what I was missing. That was 20 years ago and things are still great.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 14:20     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried coaching him through improving your sex life? Is he open to that?

Some men have never received feedback and opportunity to become better lovers.


I have and sex isn’t that good. Vanilla sex is pretty good but I’m not a vanilla kind of girl sometimes. I prefer a little rough. He tries but he’s just not that guy. He seems timid to call me names or get rough.

Great guy, otherwise.


Genuine question but do you have a history of CSA or heavy porn usage? I find a lot of women that NEED choking or violence or lots of "kink" during sex developed their sex drives while watching porn, and are therefore always viewing themselves through a porn lense during sex. If they guy isnt throwing them around, spitting on them, etc, they dont feel the heat and passion. Whereas a lot of men who have genuine emotion and love for a woman dont want to hurt them... which makes perfect sense, logically.

A really "good in bed" person can adapt to different sexual styles, get off in different ways, and listen to their partner's preferences as well. It may not be that your partner is bad in bed, but that you are. And you might try laying off porn or unpacking when/how you developed these tendencies, and try to return your sexuality to a more honest, raw place, without the pretense of all the pornified behavior.


Good advice.


Terrible advice. Completely off-mark about female sexuality and reasons why some women like rough sex or bdsm. Also, BDSM and role play is not equal to "rough'. I am kinky but I need gentle pressure all around my body and feeling hopeless in his hands, but hate rough "pounding" and hair pulling

Women like to be tied up, their neck held tight, pressed into bed during the act because it's very primal, they felt like that as babies in craddle, and also brain section responsible for the pain is close to the section responsible for pleasure in some people.

Sexuality is what you are born with, not getting from porn.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 14:19     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried coaching him through improving your sex life? Is he open to that?

Some men have never received feedback and opportunity to become better lovers.


I have and sex isn’t that good. Vanilla sex is pretty good but I’m not a vanilla kind of girl sometimes. I prefer a little rough. He tries but he’s just not that guy. He seems timid to call me names or get rough.

Great guy, otherwise.

Can’t teach a guy to be nasty. It’s in them or it isn’t. He isn’t comfortable whipping you across your face with his D and telling you that you’re a dirty little H. All the while I’m jamming a finger in your back door. I have no problem telling you or anyone else that… Don’t know how or why it comes easily for me.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 13:51     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:This is why men prefer virgins, she won’t compare you with every other guy she’s boned.

I’m not saying it’s right but it does have some logic to it.

Preferring virgins is absolutely the right thing to do unless the person has been previously married. Having sex with someone other than your spouse is a huge sin.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 13:43     Subject: Re:Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:I feel sorry for men reading these posts.

"Great guy but won't smack me in the face, pull my hair, hurt me and tell me I'm a worthless piece of trash!"

OP there are actually a lot of men out there who had bad relationships with their mothers who will give you what you want. Some of them watched their dads beat their moms so they know what to do. And don't worry, he'll give you some sons that you can raise to treat women like dogs too!

I mean. I am in favor of OP dating the guy and coaching him through it but this seems a bit dramatic. She said she likes it somewhat rough, not that she likes being abused.

I am the most vanilla person on the planet but I think suggesting that anyone who likes mild BDSM watched their father abuse their mother is a wild overreaction lol.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 13:12     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Maybe the sex is mediocre because OP isn't that sexy.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 12:40     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:This is why men prefer virgins, she won’t compare you with every other guy she’s boned.

I’m not saying it’s right but it does have some logic to it.


God no. No shame because everyone has to start somewhere, but I don't want a rookie in bed if I can help it.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 12:29     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
This is why men prefer virgins, she won’t compare you with every other guy she’s boned.

I’m not saying it’s right but it does have some logic to it.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 12:17     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:You're wired for attraction to shitty men. Men who treat you right will never satisfy you sexually and vice versa. The very things that make them quality human beings turn you off. It's not them, it's you.


+1. You don't get a quality guy who also treats you the way you want
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 12:16     Subject: Re:Great guy but sex is mediocre
I feel sorry for men reading these posts.

"Great guy but won't smack me in the face, pull my hair, hurt me and tell me I'm a worthless piece of trash!"

OP there are actually a lot of men out there who had bad relationships with their mothers who will give you what you want. Some of them watched their dads beat their moms so they know what to do. And don't worry, he'll give you some sons that you can raise to treat women like dogs too!
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 11:56     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Anonymous wrote:Teach him.

"No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher." Mr. Miyagi.


You do know that not all female and male parts fit properly leading to uncomfortable sex for either male or female.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 10:53     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
You're wired for attraction to shitty men. Men who treat you right will never satisfy you sexually and vice versa. The very things that make them quality human beings turn you off. It's not them, it's you.
Anonymous
Post 04/15/2025 10:51     Subject: Great guy but sex is mediocre
Are you my friend? She constantly dates losers who are good in bed and when a nice guy who is "just okay" at sex comes a-knockin' she's not interested.