Chiming in with a recent example of a couple who posted a GFM within the last month who “desperately needed family and friends to help cover medical bills, equipment, and caregivers” who are currently posting videos of their family at Disney with all the fancy bells and whistles (first class flights, lounge, fanciest Disney resort, VIP escort, etc.).

I feel like a chump for having donated last month. I thought they were really in a jam, but apparently they just needed some money for an expensive trip.

A friend of mine asked for money on Facebook during Covid when her senior parents passed away. She then posted photos of her on the beach with her kids where she owned a summer house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

I'm not willing to judge anything done by parents who lost a baby to SIDs. Check yourself.

Losing a baby is tragic, but has no bearing or relationship to begging people for money and then spending it on material things. It's still gross.

Agree. It’s pretty gross to take money from people who felt sorry for you and then renovate your kitchen. I’m honestly shocked anyone still donates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

I'm not willing to judge anything done by parents who lost a baby to SIDs. Check yourself.

Losing a baby is tragic, but has no bearing or relationship to begging people for money and then spending it on material things. It's still gross.

I have never donated to a GFM in my life and have no plans to start. If I knew the person close enough to donate to them, I’d just write them a check.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve donated to two in the last month and I hope both these families go to Disney or renovate their house or buy a neverfull because they have gone through something so painful that they should do whatever they need to get through the day. I am glad someone set up go fund mes for them both because I’m not close enough to make them dinner or babysit their kids, but I’m happy to help them in some way. It’s just money, can’t bring their child back.

It would be one thing if the GFM said, hey, we just went through tragedy and need to take a vacation for our mental health. Then people could choose to support or not. But they never say that because most people wouldn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

I'm not willing to judge anything done by parents who lost a baby to SIDs. Check yourself.

Hmmwell. Not the PP, but... it still smacks of subterfuge. My aunt gave birth to a stillborn at 42 weeks. They were middle class and didn't ask anyone for money. No parent should ever lose a child, and those that do usually don't do a cash grab. Grief does not suddenly transform you into someone you're not. It just shows others who you really are.

And apparently you are willing to judge people you don't even know who lost a child to SIDs. Disgusting.

You have it backwards. Using your child's death to bilk friends and family out of money for home renovation is disgusting. I don't know if disgusting is harsh enough.

And you know that this is what was happening ... how?

I have never donated to one. We have student loans and already give some to charity.
Sorry.

When Lahaina burned I sent $2000 to various GoFundMes for people and tour activities that moved me or that I had enjoyed.i also donated $500 to Maui Humane Society.
I sent about $1000 in GoFundMes and Amazon lists for LA fires. Mostly animal shelters and JPL employees.
I don't care they aren't tax deductions

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

I'm not willing to judge anything done by parents who lost a baby to SIDs. Check yourself.

Please. Having a baby die is not an excuse to ask for $50k and renovate your kitchen.

+100000 AND buy a car! These people are freaking MONSTERS!

Anonymous wrote:Neither will I. Have a neighbor who posted one seeking $50k. It went over that. They are by no means poor and I know based on their jobs they each make well over $150k a year. Their baby tragically died of SIDS but they didn’t need the funeral expenses and a funeral for a baby is not $50k. The same year they gutted their house and bought a new car. I have zero doubt that’s where the funds for that came from.

Discusting. I have lost all hope in humans.

I once kept donating to a mother who needed food, diapers and wipes for her large pack of kids. Then she got very large breast implants. Never again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:GFMs are for trash people. I don't care if you are dirt broke. You never beg.

In my experience, the fund is often set up by friends or family because people want to help but aren't sure what people need. I'm certainly not going to judge someone for having friends who want to help them. Of course there are people who set them up for frivolous reasons or people who are scammers, but I'm not going to lump everyone into one category.

I have known a few people who have tragically lost a child. I was happy to donate to a fund and I truly did not care what they used the money for. I simply wanted to do something to help as they navigated through their grief.

Most of the ones I've seen are for good reason. I know a teacher who had a child with a rare genetic condition that is very expensive to treat. They need the help. I also donated when a local kid on a motorcycle was struck by an inattentive driver. He suffered severe injuries. The only one I ignored was one my idiot bil set up to help fund his high school reunion. He was angry that spouse and I volunteered for a cancer charity and sent an email once a year asking for donations. We raised a lot of money for one of the best cancer related charities after a close friend died at a young age from that cancer. Once a year, we would send an email asking people to donate and this made this idiot angry. Because of this, he demanded we help fund his high school reunion even though he knew our friend and he never contributed a single dime. Also he works for the IRS.

I am a sucker for medical Go Fund Mes, I admit.

I’ll donate to people I know are not well off and are asking for a reasonable amount of money. The husband of a girl I went to HS with died of cancer in his mid 30s, they were both teachers, and had two little kids and never left our hometown. I’ll throw them $20. I donated to the Afghan interpreter who was killed by thugs in a carjacking in DC. I donated to a family who lost everything in a house fire in a working class area of Pittsburgh. That makes sense to me. I can’t get behind medical fundraisers with no upper limit for people who have good health insurance and good jobs.