Anonymous wrote:OP here

Thank you so much! These are some great ideas-- keep 'em coming.

I think one of the issues is efficiency-- I've pared and streamlined so much over the years of single parenthood that caring for the pets (we have three) and the house doesn't occupy a lot of time. Home projects were how I filled my spare time over the past few years, and the house is in great shape. I can't justify more renovating/ redecorating (although I do enjoy that) because I got everything the way I like it. My daughter and I did a lot of it together!

I'm intrigued by the idea of ballroom dancing, and I bet my boyfriend would be into it too. Or if he's not... is it open to solo participants? Not sure how much we'd like the actual thing. Got a recommendation for someplace to try? We're in Petworth.

And I do like gardening. The very small garden I have is finished (after several years of being my primary hobby) and requires only the most minimal maintenance now. I'll check to see if any of the community gardens in my area have spaces available. I looked before and they all had waitlists, but that was around the pandemic so maybe they've opened up a bit.

I'd love to join a hiking group. Any idea where to start? When I've looked before, everything I've found has been geared toward 20-somethings. Who are often fantastic people, but maybe not the vibe that would keep me going back.

Maybe I just need to form a DC empty nesters club. Maybe it exists and someone can point me in the right direction!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Rude” PP here,
I am sorry I caused hurt feelings, it just doesn’t seem right that a teen is willing to spend time as OP said like every afternoon after school. Look I know teens like a movie night with a parent (not all but many) or an occasional outing but regular afternoon activities together? Every day? And I know cases where teens are made to feel responsible for their parents’ feelings of loneliness and being abandoned and are shouldering this guilt in subtle ways. Everyone is like awww they love their mom but it’s guilt.
Call me whatever you want but the common complaint in my friend group is that teens are pulling away. They aren’t bad parents and they have good relationships but it’s just natural.

I’m a NP and have a junior dd. She’s super attached to me and I am admittedly worried about her having trouble when she goes away to college. I encourage her to go out with her friends, I offer to host them at our house, I’m fine with paying for social outings. I don’t always respond to her texts quickly so she grows independent from communication with me. The truth is: She is a sweet, nerdy kid; somewhat of a home body, and we just get along well. I’m not going to start fights to help her launch. Sometimes you parent who you have and not who the typical kid is. She’s not a typical teen who is pulling away, so we are going to continue to enjoy spending time with each other and I will absolutely encourage her to be with her friends and go out as much as I can. But not every teen is like the typical.

Anonymous wrote:“Rude” PP here,
I am sorry I caused hurt feelings, it just doesn’t seem right that a teen is willing to spend time as OP said like every afternoon after school. Look I know teens like a movie night with a parent (not all but many) or an occasional outing but regular afternoon activities together? Every day? And I know cases where teens are made to feel responsible for their parents’ feelings of loneliness and being abandoned and are shouldering this guilt in subtle ways. Everyone is like awww they love their mom but it’s guilt.
Call me whatever you want but the common complaint in my friend group is that teens are pulling away. They aren’t bad parents and they have good relationships but it’s just natural.

Anonymous wrote:OP here

Thank you so much! These are some great ideas-- keep 'em coming.

I think one of the issues is efficiency-- I've pared and streamlined so much over the years of single parenthood that caring for the pets (we have three) and the house doesn't occupy a lot of time. Home projects were how I filled my spare time over the past few years, and the house is in great shape. I can't justify more renovating/ redecorating (although I do enjoy that) because I got everything the way I like it. My daughter and I did a lot of it together!

I'm intrigued by the idea of ballroom dancing, and I bet my boyfriend would be into it too. Or if he's not... is it open to solo participants? Not sure how much we'd like the actual thing. Got a recommendation for someplace to try? We're in Petworth.

And I do like gardening. The very small garden I have is finished (after several years of being my primary hobby) and requires only the most minimal maintenance now. I'll check to see if any of the community gardens in my area have spaces available. I looked before and they all had waitlists, but that was around the pandemic so maybe they've opened up a bit.

I'd love to join a hiking group. Any idea where to start? When I've looked before, everything I've found has been geared toward 20-somethings. Who are often fantastic people, but maybe not the vibe that would keep me going back.

Maybe I just need to form a DC empty nesters club. Maybe it exists and someone can point me in the right direction!

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your dd doesn’t enjoy your time together as much as you think she does. She most likely does it out of guilt. You should start separating from her asap. If you don’t believe me ask this on any teen forum like a reddit sub.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your dd doesn’t enjoy your time together as much as you think she does. She most likely does it out of guilt. You should start separating from her asap. If you don’t believe me ask this on any teen forum like a reddit sub.

WTF is wrong with you?

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your dd doesn’t enjoy your time together as much as you think she does. She most likely does it out of guilt. You should start separating from her asap. If you don’t believe me ask this on any teen forum like a reddit sub.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure this is the right forum, but i'm getting super anxious about my kid leaving for college this fall. We're very close and spend at least a little time together every day-- several days a week we're together from after work/ school all the way to bedtime. Just watching TV or chatting or cooking together. (She has her own life with extra curriculars and friends but she has always chosen to include time with me, too.) I don't intend to text/ call constantly. She needs to grow into her own self.

So... what am I going to do with myself?

-- I've gone through a bunch of hobbies, but I don't want to fill my house with paint and yarn and gear, all to produce amateur crafts I don't want. And I'm not generally creative/ artsy.
-- I read a ton, about as much as my eyesight can handle after a day a computer.
-- I don't really care for TV; maybe one series at a time, and not all the time.
-- I have friends, but they have lives and I don't want to saddle them with my neediness. And anyway, what do you DO other than walks and dinners?
-- My job is pretty strictly M-F, 9-5. I've found that volunteering is hard with an office schedule. And DC is a place where people seem to compete to volunteer. I've tried several times and found that even scheduling a shift (!) was hit-or-miss and just a lot like work. And my career is in the non-profit space anyway.

Save your tough love (meanness) please. I feel a bad place on the horizon and don't need to feel worse. Sincerely looking for some helpful thoughts for keeping busy and maybe even to grow a bit.

Find more friends who have time and who want to spend time together. I have 2 close friends, but they were always busy and I see them maybe once a month. I decided I want more friends. I joined a monthly book club, meetup and joined 2 hiking, 1 tennis and a social group, and I joined a hiking group through FB. I now have more friends and activities than I have tine. My kids are still young, but I want well vetted friends for when they leave. I made friends who are my age, younger and older. It is great. About 5 of them have become close friends.