Anonymous wrote:There do seem to be a lot of men who are more than happy for you to quit working with young kids and provide free childcare and handle all of the domestic labor.

Then you finally get a chance to sit down and they want you back at work asap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long would someone put up with it? I have 3 kids all about to be in college, wife was supposed to go back to work when they all reached middle school. She didn't, kept coming up with reasons why not.

We live in expensive zip code, have kids in private school and did the whole travel sports thing (which is ridiculously expensive in and of itself. Wife went back to work part time 30 ish hours a week when kids were about half done with HS and now works part time 10-15 hours a week, I told her that working until the kids all graduate from college would be ideal and allow us to get through with minimal extra debt or student loans, 429 won't cover everything for them and we don't have parents that are contributing to any of this stuff, so its 100% on us.

I am told constantly that I have "ruined her life", that she is 50 and shouldn't have to work anymore and that none of her friends work, which is sort of true. We have some very wealthy friends and we have friends where the women made a lot of money early in career, one was a stock broker the other partner in a Dr Office.

We also have friends where they are legitimate duel income households with both spouses contributing greatly. I keep getting told, "making money is your job, you have ruined my life."

On top of the ruining her life for wanting her to work until she is 55 ish, I am now told I am ruining her life because I don't want to spend 7 or 8 thousand dollars for our family to go to NY and watch Ovi hopefully get the all time goals record. Next week I will have ruined her life in some other way. I am just over it. I have told her that if she really feels I am ruining her life she should contact a divorce attorney, but she won't.

What a 429?

Stock broker? That’s retail. wtf, do those exist anymore?

Get a Financial Analyst appt booked stat. This is clearly not a private banker or wealth mgmt situation.

Can’t tell why you’re ruining her life or why you have so many money problems. I fear you don’t know either.

OP is busted troll now!

Anonymous wrote:There do seem to be a lot of men who are more than happy for you to quit working with young kids and provide free childcare and handle all of the domestic labor.

Then you finally get a chance to sit down and they want you back at work asap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op can whine all he wants.
He had a spouse holding down the fort at home, kids, trips, schedules, health, holidays, social events, school, sports, and college apps…. so all he had to really focus on what his work and career advancements. And show up for some tasks and events here and there - like a 7pm pick up or weekend game.

That’s what courts will see and know happened for 20.

OP can either figure out why his wife is actually upset or keep whining.

Not accurate. I did a ton of the household stuff, grocery shopping, organizing closets, cooking. Coached when they were young, was team manager, handled a ton of the scheduling have handled a good chunk of the college stuff and the majority of the travel for sports.

Our plan was always for her to be a stay at home mom until kids hit middle school, they she would get a job again, nothing high stress, but enough to contribute, in a perfect world something with health insurance and a decent retirement savings package. It didn’t happen until 10th grade and is now like 10 hours a week. So yes she has not kept up her end of what we discussed pre marriage and when we started having kids.

And the paychecks went into “her” account because she made it and it’s her money, zero of it went towards house, car, insurance, utilities. And then she was 1099’ed so the tax liabilities basically fell on me for “her” money fell on me.

It’s all a mess. Her family has strong history of ADHD and Narcisism, which I didn’t know about for quite a while and as she has gotten older the signs of both are much greater.

Anonymous wrote:What job did she get after 20 years out of the workforce? If you’re expecting her to work something menial and comparing it to your job which she enabled then she has a point. If she is in a fulfilling and respectable role, you may have a point.

But if 10-15 hours per week at the job is making a difference to your ability to fund college for your kids something is up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op can whine all he wants.
He had a spouse holding down the fort at home, kids, trips, schedules, health, holidays, social events, school, sports, and college apps…. so all he had to really focus on what his work and career advancements. And show up for some tasks and events here and there - like a 7pm pick up or weekend game.

That’s what courts will see and know happened for 20.

OP can either figure out why his wife is actually upset or keep whining.

Not accurate. I did a ton of the household stuff, grocery shopping, organizing closets, cooking. Coached when they were young, was team manager, handled a ton of the scheduling have handled a good chunk of the college stuff and the majority of the travel for sports.

Our plan was always for her to be a stay at home mom until kids hit middle school, they she would get a job again, nothing high stress, but enough to contribute, in a perfect world something with health insurance and a decent retirement savings package. It didn’t happen until 10th grade and is now like 10 hours a week. So yes she has not kept up her end of what we discussed pre marriage and when we started having kids.

And the paychecks went into “her” account because she made it and it’s her money, zero of it went towards house, car, insurance, utilities. And then she was 1099’ed so the tax liabilities basically fell on me for “her” money fell on me.

It’s all a mess. Her family has strong history of ADHD and Narcisism, which I didn’t know about for quite a while and as she has gotten older the signs of both are much greater.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op can whine all he wants.
He had a spouse holding down the fort at home, kids, trips, schedules, health, holidays, social events, school, sports, and college apps…. so all he had to really focus on what his work and career advancements. And show up for some tasks and events here and there - like a 7pm pick up or weekend game.

That’s what courts will see and know happened for 20.

OP can either figure out why his wife is actually upset or keep whining.

Not accurate. I did a ton of the household stuff, grocery shopping, organizing closets, cooking. Coached when they were young, was team manager, handled a ton of the scheduling have handled a good chunk of the college stuff and the majority of the travel for sports.

Our plan was always for her to be a stay at home mom until kids hit middle school, they she would get a job again, nothing high stress, but enough to contribute, in a perfect world something with health insurance and a decent retirement savings package. It didn’t happen until 10th grade and is now like 10 hours a week. So yes she has not kept up her end of what we discussed pre marriage and when we started having kids.

And the paychecks went into “her” account because she made it and it’s her money, zero of it went towards house, car, insurance, utilities. And then she was 1099’ed so the tax liabilities basically fell on me for “her” money fell on me.

It’s all a mess. Her family has strong history of ADHD and Narcisism, which I didn’t know about for quite a while and as she has gotten older the signs of both are much greater.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long would someone put up with it? I have 3 kids all about to be in college, wife was supposed to go back to work when they all reached middle school. She didn't, kept coming up with reasons why not.

We live in expensive zip code, have kids in private school and did the whole travel sports thing (which is ridiculously expensive in and of itself. Wife went back to work part time 30 ish hours a week when kids were about half done with HS and now works part time 10-15 hours a week, I told her that working until the kids all graduate from college would be ideal and allow us to get through with minimal extra debt or student loans, 429 won't cover everything for them and we don't have parents that are contributing to any of this stuff, so its 100% on us.

I am told constantly that I have "ruined her life", that she is 50 and shouldn't have to work anymore and that none of her friends work, which is sort of true. We have some very wealthy friends and we have friends where the women made a lot of money early in career, one was a stock broker the other partner in a Dr Office.

We also have friends where they are legitimate duel income households with both spouses contributing greatly. I keep getting told, "making money is your job, you have ruined my life."

On top of the ruining her life for wanting her to work until she is 55 ish, I am now told I am ruining her life because I don't want to spend 7 or 8 thousand dollars for our family to go to NY and watch Ovi hopefully get the all time goals record. Next week I will have ruined her life in some other way. I am just over it. I have told her that if she really feels I am ruining her life she should contact a divorce attorney, but she won't.

What a 429?

Stock broker? That’s retail. wtf, do those exist anymore?

Get a Financial Analyst appt booked stat. This is clearly not a private banker or wealth mgmt situation.

Can’t tell why you’re ruining her life or why you have so many money problems. I fear you don’t know either.

Anonymous wrote:How long would someone put up with it? I have 3 kids all about to be in college, wife was supposed to go back to work when they all reached middle school. She didn't, kept coming up with reasons why not. We live in expensive zip code, have kids in private school and did the whole travel sports thing (which is ridiculously expensive in and of itself. Wife went back to work part time 30 ish hours a week when kids were about half done with HS and now works part time 10-15 hours a week, I told her that working until the kids all graduate from college would be ideal and allow us to get through with minimal extra debt or student loans, 429 won't cover everything for them and we don't have parents that are contributing to any of this stuff, so its 100% on us. I am told constantly that I have "ruined her life", that she is 50 and shouldn't have to work anymore and that none of her friends work, which is sort of true. We have some very wealthy friends and we have friends where the women made a lot of money early in career, one was a stock broker the other partner in a Dr Office. We also have friends where they are legitimate duel income households with both spouses contributing greatly. I keep getting told, "making money is your job, you have ruined my life."

On top of the ruining her life for wanting her to work until she is 55 ish, I am now told I am ruining her life because I don't want to spend 7 or 8 thousand dollars for our family to go to NY and watch Ovi hopefully get the all time goals record. Next week I will have ruined her life in some other way. I am just over it. I have told her that if she really feels I am ruining her life she should contact a divorce attorney, but she won't.

Anonymous wrote:There do seem to be a lot of men who are more than happy for you to quit working with young kids and provide free childcare and handle all of the domestic labor.

Then you finally get a chance to sit down and they want you back at work asap.

Anonymous wrote:There do seem to be a lot of men who are more than happy for you to quit working with young kids and provide free childcare and handle all of the domestic labor.

Then you finally get a chance to sit down and they want you back at work asap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op can whine all he wants.
He had a spouse holding down the fort at home, kids, trips, schedules, health, holidays, social events, school, sports, and college apps…. so all he had to really focus on what his work and career advancements. And show up for some tasks and events here and there - like a 7pm pick up or weekend game.

That’s what courts will see and know happened for 20.

OP can either figure out why his wife is actually upset or keep whining.

Exhibit A why you don't get married and definitely don’t have three kids fellas. It'll always be your fault no matter what you do. No "courts" over here.

Def don’t have kids if you’re this checked out and ignorant.