Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Letting your kids go hungry will cure most picky eating. But most parents, including me, don’t do that, just like we don’t do physical punishment either.

The old ways must have been much easier for parents. And the way we parent now has real costs to making parenting exhausting and not an attractive prospect for the next generation.

Letting your kids go hungry is still a tactic recommended by some nutritionists. And I can verify from experience that it does work across an extended family worth of kids with very, very different personalities. And no, kids without sensory issues who are NT won't starve this way, not even close.

But that's a HUGE caveat. If there's a medical issue or a difference in processing, sensing, or something like that you can't do this to your kids. Then it's cruel. I have a relative who is incredibly picky, but she has sensory issues. Making her go hungry until she would eat what the rest of the family was eating would have been awful, and would have backfired badly. She already struggles to maintain a healthy weight.

The problem of course is that if you have a kid with sensory issues, everyone thinks you are just making excuses when you explain that they have sensory issues. It's very annoying to have a picky eater who you know is doing their best to eat what they can, and every well-meaning friend and relative wants to give you advice on it and don't understand that it's not normal pickiness.

I realized a couple years ago that when other people talk about "picky eaters" they mean kids who want pizza and french fries all the time, resist eating veggies, maybe don't like to eat a lot of things when they are prepared differently than they are at home. That's not a picky eater! That's just a normal kid. Your average kid will be situationally picky and resistant to certain foods. A picky eater is a kid who struggles to eat at all, even at home, even familiar foods. Who can lose their appetite or even develop a gag reflex when faced with a broad range of very typical foods.

Anonymous wrote:Letting your kids go hungry will cure most picky eating. But most parents, including me, don’t do that, just like we don’t do physical punishment either.

The old ways must have been much easier for parents. And the way we parent now has real costs to making parenting exhausting and not an attractive prospect for the next generation.

Letting your kids go hungry is still a tactic recommended by some nutritionists. And I can verify from experience that it does work across an extended family worth of kids with very, very different personalities. And no, kids without sensory issues who are NT won't starve this way, not even close.

But that's a HUGE caveat. If there's a medical issue or a difference in processing, sensing, or something like that you can't do this to your kids. Then it's cruel. I have a relative who is incredibly picky, but she has sensory issues. Making her go hungry until she would eat what the rest of the family was eating would have been awful, and would have backfired badly. She already struggles to maintain a healthy weight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i am only cooking for two, but we have several days we are not home for dinner. i usually get a couple things ready in the fridge on sunday or monday and make things from that during the week when we are home.

for instance i might have a pound of cooked chicken. i can add some to a salad, make gyros or add some to a pasta. my husband doesn't care what we eat and i don't care enough to make a big effort. we always have something to eat.

if i had kids here i wouldn't have them eating chicken nuggets every night, though. i would cook actual food.

Hahahaha, I want this poster to have known ds and then come back and post in a few years.

We cook "actual food" almost every day, because that's what we eat. We have a picky eater who eats maybe 10% of what we eat. I always have stuff like chicken nuggets, peanut butter for toast, simple cheddar cheese, apple sauce, etc. Because it's incredibly rare that the picky eater will be willing to eat enough of the "actual food" we eat to not be hungry.

Last week I made this delicious pasta with an arugula and pistachio pesto that I thought was super kid friendly -- I made it because I wanted a spring pasta but also because I thought farfalle with a green sauce would be appealing.

Not one bite. We heated up chicken nuggets and frozen peas both nights we ate it. Oh well. At least I enjoyed it.

I wouldn’t heat up chicken nuggets and peas for him. He can heat up his own nuggets and peas if that’s the alternative.

I phave a rule that you can always go and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if you don’t like what we are having for dinner. I showed all of my kids how to make it as early as they could, and I kept everything where they could reach it. They all went through about a week of eating PB&J every night when they were about four, and then never again. It’s too much hassle.

Congratulations? Your kids probably hate you, FYI.

Dude. I’m just telling you to sit with your husband and eat the delicious dinner you made. Teach your kids how to microwave their own nuggets if that’s what they want!

And yes, my kids do hate me about 30% of the time, but that is because they are teenagers. Yours will too.
But we still sit around the dinner table and talk for an hour or so every night.

The reason your kids likely hate you is that you read a perfectly normal story about a poster making a healthy meal for her kids and one of them totally rejecting it and having chicken nuggets instead, and decided to criticize her for not making the kid heat up the chicken nuggets himself.

For all you know, the kid in question is 4, and even if he's not, it's actually fine for the adults to do it. The PP wasn't complaining about hearing up the nuggets, just disappointed her kid wouldn't eat the meal she prepared and thought was very tasty.

Also nuggets taste a lot better heated in the oven. Like a million times better

Letting your kids go hungry will cure most picky eating. But most parents, including me, don’t do that, just like we don’t do physical punishment either.

The old ways must have been much easier for parents. And the way we parent now has real costs to making parenting exhausting and not an attractive prospect for the next generation.

Would it help to make a schedule of things people eat - Monday pasta/meatballs, Tuesday tacos, etc and just do that so you don’t have to think that much? Other than that, make aheads and make your husband responsible for dinner at least one night per week and pay no attention if it’s hot dogs, nuggets, or pizza. Take a day off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again-people who have kids that will eat anything/everything are simply just lucky. it’s luck. it’s not your parenting or your cooking. I say this as someone who’s first child literally ate everything, has never been picky and is possibly more adventurous with food than his parents. And then the second child came and humbled the superior thoughts right out of us. This was child was offered the same food and parented the same way and is the pickiest most difficult eater.

We are all just trying to survive. I hate all meal times and I look so forward to when my kids leave for college so I can go back to low stress meal times.

I agree. I was not a picky eater as a kid. I think I have a less sensitive palette. I can handle spicy/bitter foods, different textures, etc. Some people have stronger aversions. I have a kid that would rather go to bed hungry than eat certain things.

+1

We also have one kid who will eat everything, one kid who will eat a decent number of things but we have to plan, and one who I am fairly certain would actually rather starve than eat.

I have a picky eater who turned out to have very severe acid reflux and felt terrible after eating a lot of common foods. We didn’t figure it out until they were old enough to verbalize it and had a bad flare in middle elementary school. I am so thankful I didn’t try to force food on them when they were struggling.

But- feeding my kids is exhausting. I do want to validate that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again-people who have kids that will eat anything/everything are simply just lucky. it’s luck. it’s not your parenting or your cooking. I say this as someone who’s first child literally ate everything, has never been picky and is possibly more adventurous with food than his parents. And then the second child came and humbled the superior thoughts right out of us. This was child was offered the same food and parented the same way and is the pickiest most difficult eater.

We are all just trying to survive. I hate all meal times and I look so forward to when my kids leave for college so I can go back to low stress meal times.

I agree. I was not a picky eater as a kid. I think I have a less sensitive palette. I can handle spicy/bitter foods, different textures, etc. Some people have stronger aversions. I have a kid that would rather go to bed hungry than eat certain things.

+1

We also have one kid who will eat everything, one kid who will eat a decent number of things but we have to plan, and one who I am fairly certain would actually rather starve than eat.

I have a picky eater who turned out to have very severe acid reflux and felt terrible after eating a lot of common foods. We didn’t figure it out until they were old enough to verbalize it and had a bad flare in middle elementary school. I am so thankful I didn’t try to force food on them when they were struggling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you! My husband has to eat low carb and I have a child with texture issues. It's hard to find something everyone likes and will eat.

I also hate prepping those kind of meals where people can pick and choose what they want (i.e. tacos). It's such a pain. Sometimes I would just like to make a big fat lasagna and eat off it all week, but DH can't eat pasta. Sigh.

nobody has to eat low carb. If he wants to be difficult he can make his own food.

Maybe he’s diabetic, dummy.

If he was-she would have said that. And it doesn’t matter-he is an adult who can make his own food if he has special requirements. It’s one thing if someone has an allergy and other people eating a certain thing can still affect them. This is not that.

He is (honestly, why would you have to say this explicitly??) and I am the primary cook because of our schedules. I'm not going to make him cook a separate meal when I'm already prepping dinner in our small kitchen. That's totally inefficient. I assumed this was just a vent thread.

You’re fine. That person is just bitter and hateful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you! My husband has to eat low carb and I have a child with texture issues. It's hard to find something everyone likes and will eat.

I also hate prepping those kind of meals where people can pick and choose what they want (i.e. tacos). It's such a pain. Sometimes I would just like to make a big fat lasagna and eat off it all week, but DH can't eat pasta. Sigh.

nobody has to eat low carb. If he wants to be difficult he can make his own food.

Maybe he’s diabetic, dummy.

If he was-she would have said that. And it doesn’t matter-he is an adult who can make his own food if he has special requirements. It’s one thing if someone has an allergy and other people eating a certain thing can still affect them. This is not that.

He is (honestly, why would you have to say this explicitly??) and I am the primary cook because of our schedules. I'm not going to make him cook a separate meal when I'm already prepping dinner in our small kitchen. That's totally inefficient. I assumed this was just a vent thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you! My husband has to eat low carb and I have a child with texture issues. It's hard to find something everyone likes and will eat.

I also hate prepping those kind of meals where people can pick and choose what they want (i.e. tacos). It's such a pain. Sometimes I would just like to make a big fat lasagna and eat off it all week, but DH can't eat pasta. Sigh.

nobody has to eat low carb. If he wants to be difficult he can make his own food.

Maybe he’s diabetic, dummy.

If he was-she would have said that. And it doesn’t matter-he is an adult who can make his own food if he has special requirements. It’s one thing if someone has an allergy and other people eating a certain thing can still affect them. This is not that.

Anonymous wrote:Have t read the whole thread but OP I am same since having kids. In weekends, travel etc now DH and I are like "how can it be time for another meal already that we need to figure out and sit through.." I wish there was some alternative to eating at this point.

It's no question by least favorite part of parenting.

it’s the worst part, by far.

Have t read the whole thread but OP I am same since having kids. In weekends, travel etc now DH and I are like "how can it be time for another meal already that we need to figure out and sit through.." I wish there was some alternative to eating at this point.

It's no question by least favorite part of parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hear you! My husband has to eat low carb and I have a child with texture issues. It's hard to find something everyone likes and will eat.

I also hate prepping those kind of meals where people can pick and choose what they want (i.e. tacos). It's such a pain. Sometimes I would just like to make a big fat lasagna and eat off it all week, but DH can't eat pasta. Sigh.

nobody has to eat low carb. If he wants to be difficult he can make his own food.

Maybe he’s diabetic, dummy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again-people who have kids that will eat anything/everything are simply just lucky. it’s luck. it’s not your parenting or your cooking. I say this as someone who’s first child literally ate everything, has never been picky and is possibly more adventurous with food than his parents. And then the second child came and humbled the superior thoughts right out of us. This was child was offered the same food and parented the same way and is the pickiest most difficult eater.

We are all just trying to survive. I hate all meal times and I look so forward to when my kids leave for college so I can go back to low stress meal times.

I agree. I was not a picky eater as a kid. I think I have a less sensitive palette. I can handle spicy/bitter foods, different textures, etc. Some people have stronger aversions. I have a kid that would rather go to bed hungry than eat certain things.

+1

We also have one kid who will eat everything, one kid who will eat a decent number of things but we have to plan, and one who I am fairly certain would actually rather starve than eat.

Anonymous wrote:i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again-people who have kids that will eat anything/everything are simply just lucky. it’s luck. it’s not your parenting or your cooking. I say this as someone who’s first child literally ate everything, has never been picky and is possibly more adventurous with food than his parents. And then the second child came and humbled the superior thoughts right out of us. This was child was offered the same food and parented the same way and is the pickiest most difficult eater.

We are all just trying to survive. I hate all meal times and I look so forward to when my kids leave for college so I can go back to low stress meal times.

I agree. I was not a picky eater as a kid. I think I have a less sensitive palette. I can handle spicy/bitter foods, different textures, etc. Some people have stronger aversions. I have a kid that would rather go to bed hungry than eat certain things.