Aww your poor sister.

Yes she IS definitely in a bad place right now & is in a midst of a very deep depression.
Many depressed people tend to neglect their housework and some even their personal hygiene as well.
Is she keeping up bathing + grooming?
Are her boys being adequately cared for as well??

I think you should offer your sister help in cleaning her house for her…
I wouldn’t mention that her house is a mess or that she seems to be depressed.
Perhaps you can offer to fold clothes, make beds or simply sweep 🧹 a floor if she declines.

Any little bit helps.
Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Op here I have been going over to my sister's the last few nights when I get off work . I have helped get the dirty diapers and trash alm threw away. I got her laundry and bedding all washed and put away there's still more to do but little by little it's getting there . I tried to get her to talk to me about it but she closes not to her choice . She refuses counseling at the moment nor sure what I should do next .

What you are doing is wonderful. She will come around, but it still in shock and it may be too painful to talk about even with a therapist. Just having things a little tidier and knowing you care IS making a difference. Also, you are giving her space-cleaning, but not intrusive, offering to talk, but not forcing it.

Here are some more ideas she may reject:
*On your way for next visit if you are going to pass some place healthy she likes such as Cava or whatever see if she will allow you to bring lunch
*See if you can get her outside for fresh air and sun
*Is there something mindless you can share that you think might make her laugh-a clip you found on social media, a meme or gif or a card or just something that made you think of her and an inside joke you used to have or something you know she would find funny these days?

You don't have to any of that though. What you are doing already is so so awesome!

Anonymous wrote:Op here I have been going over to my sister's the last few nights when I get off work . I have helped get the dirty diapers and trash alm threw away. I got her laundry and bedding all washed and put away there's still more to do but little by little it's getting there . I tried to get her to talk to me about it but she closes not to her choice . She refuses counseling at the moment nor sure what I should do next .

You are such a good caring sister.
Next time you’re there, ask if you can have a hug. And give her a long tight hug. It may be exactly what she needs. She’s crushed under the weight of her life right now.
Similar situation and I would love if someone would give me a long protective hug right now

That's all you can do at this point OP. Hopefully she gets better with time.

Op here I have been going over to my sister's the last few nights when I get off work . I have helped get the dirty diapers and trash alm threw away. I got her laundry and bedding all washed and put away there's still more to do but little by little it's getting there . I tried to get her to talk to me about it but she closes not to her choice . She refuses counseling at the moment nor sure what I should do next .