Yes OP, you are being the selfish AH. 16 year olds shouldn't live by themselves.

Honestly, you sound like a selfish, self-centered MAGA who doesn't care about anyone but themself.

Anonymous wrote:What law firms offer scholarships? This sounds made up.

+1 I am not buying it. In addition, I would be upset with your mother for volunteering your house and your time. “Sorry, it doesn’t t work with our schedule.” Since your mother is so concerned, tell her to rent a place and cook and clean for him.

Anonymous wrote:I think you are being selfish. He’s only 16- too young to live on his own for the summer.

I also don’t think he’s a bully. I think secretly you’re just jealous. If he’s living with you, you absolutely can shape him and tell him that it’s rude to talk about grades you get with others.

What exactly would Op be jealous about? Spell that one out for me.

Sixteen is far too young to live on his own in a different city. But you know this, OP. You aren’t obligated to host him, but stop kidding yourself that you’ve found him a viable alternative.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not selfish. Your kids come first. FYI, I have worked in law firms my entire adult life and there are none that have ever hired a HS intern. He wouldn't be able to do much more than make copies, scans and deliver mail to employees. No 16 yr old would be trusted to do anything related to clients, they don't know how to research properly and it's not a good investment of time to teach them just for a summer.

Nobody in your family has ANY proof that this kid doing this internship would lead to a college scholarship. And he can get into law school based on his college GPA and LSAT scores - nobody will care about his summer job in HS by that time.

OP here: Maybe internship is not the best description. It’s a program associated with a legal organization that allows high schoolers to ”intern” at private legal practices. My understanding is that it’s primarily doing pretty basic tasks and shadowing lawyers, with some educational elements. The organization that organizes the program offers a couple scholarships for graduates of the program. They offer housing, but from my understanding is that housing is too expensive for my sibling’s family - thus looking for other housing.

Why not just pay for that housing, then?

It does sound a bit pay to play.

OP says this kid is a bully for saying some insensitive remark? Unreal. She doesn't have to host but calling him a bully is worse than whatever he did.

These types of paid summer programs are usually 2 weeks long. Maybe a month tops. OP is very dramatic. At most it's 2 months long. What does shared housing cost in a dorm room attached to this program? $1000 month tops.

One of these two options should work with the family without OP making his comment such a big deal.

A whole summer is a LOT to take on a nephews who isn’t kind to the people in the family. Would you be expected to drive him to and from his job? What if he makes friends and wants to go out, will he abide by a curfew? Would he want to borrow your car if he had a license?

I didn’t have money growing up and my parents would have never asked anyone to do this for me. When you don’t have the money, you just can’t do everything, and that sucks, but it’s not up to the other families to take care of it.

If you DO end up taking him in out of guilt, then I absolutely would make ground rules up front about things like curfew, expectations around the house (helping with dishes, doing his own laundry, picking up after himself, not leaving the bathroom messy), and especially kindness to his cousins. My nephews can be obnoxious, but when their parents are around I have to keep my mouth shut. If one of them lived with me and said something I wouldn’t let me know kids say, I would 💯 not hesitate to say something, especially if it’s to protect my kids.

GL, let us know how this all plays out.

Anonymous wrote:He’s a child. I would never say no to a niece or nephew

Same..

Anonymous wrote:What law firms offer scholarships? This sounds made up.

I agree. OP is one of our family-hating fiction writers.

I would feel badly but I would say no, too. I'd give them some money to figure it out and leave it at that. Because if he does the internship, you'll still be harassed to visit/feed him/socialize with him etc and I wouldn't be up for that either.

He’s a child. I would never say no to a niece or nephew

So, first, the programs that OP has now described exist. The ACLU has one. There are also some highly regarded state-specific ones like the Thurgood Marshall program in NY and JYC in Massachusetts. Most are aimed at POCs and/or kids from underprivileged backgrounds, which seems likely as OP describes her nephew.

OP if you are a typical DCUM UMC poster so this isn’t actually a money issue, I cannot imagine denying my 16 year old poor nephew this kind of opportunity. If you can pay for him to live in a dorm (or convince your mom to), that’s OK. But a random basement?? He’s 16! That is totally impractical and no one sense Ike would ever rent to him.

I hate having family stay with me, but yea you are being selfish. I would also hate this, but I’d offer to pay for his room elsewhere.

I think you are being selfish. He’s only 16- too young to live on his own for the summer.

I also don’t think he’s a bully. I think secretly you’re just jealous. If he’s living with you, you absolutely can shape him and tell him that it’s rude to talk about grades you get with others.

16 year olds do absolutely nothing at law firms. This will have no impact on law school at all. They don't care about what you do before college.

I supervised a 16 year old at my law firm for a summer, and he couldn't do much. I basically gave him paper to push around.

Law schools don't want to hear about anything you did before college unless you won a worldwide award.

You don't have to host him.