Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 13:36     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
I'm sorry this was so hard, OP. It shouldn't have been this stressful.

We once got a rescue dog who had been in a terrible non-socialized environment who was also scared to death. All the advice wasnever raise your voice, be totally gentle, follow dog's lead. Well, the dog could not grasp walks and pooping and peeing outside not inside. I dutifully did all the things and just cleaned up mess after mess (and she had a difficult case of worms, did I mention that?). Finally, after a week or so of this, I lost it and yelled at her No! No! while cleaning up the mess. And, after that, she started to understand. It really did take one time getting 'punished' for her to get the concept. Boy that was a tough first week.

Please don't beat yourself up too much. You have a pet, you know what it takes, you did things right, and this just wasn't the dog for you. sometimes it just doesn't work out.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 13:23     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. We made an appointment to return her. This has been a terrible year and this was just a miserable experience from start to finish. I feel like such a POS but I need my life back.


Glad to hear it. You will feel like a pos for about a day then when you get your life back you will realize you made a very hard adult decision. Do not get any other pet puppy or senior dog anything for a long long time like years ok?
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 12:25     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. We made an appointment to return her. This has been a terrible year and this was just a miserable experience from start to finish. I feel like such a POS but I need my life back.


I'm glad to hear it, OP. You're not a POS. You bit off more than you could chew, recognized it, and did the next right thing: returning the dog. That's adulting. Not easy, and you did it well.

Prayers for your heart. It's a grief, even if it was the best decision.


+1. It's for the best. For both you and the pup.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 12:13     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:Give it time. Ours took 6 months to pt. And two years to calm down.


Two years of a wild dog. That’s insane.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 12:01     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. We made an appointment to return her. This has been a terrible year and this was just a miserable experience from start to finish. I feel like such a POS but I need my life back.


I'm glad to hear it, OP. You're not a POS. You bit off more than you could chew, recognized it, and did the next right thing: returning the dog. That's adulting. Not easy, and you did it well.

Prayers for your heart. It's a grief, even if it was the best decision.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 12:00     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
I feel your pain. My lab was extremely easy to train compared to yours but I’d never get a puppy again, no matter how freaking cute they are.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 11:27     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
This is why I'm a cat person.

My 4 month old ragdoll kitten used her litter box from the first day with us, and she's never had an accident. She's affectionate and wants to be with us all the time, but her little voice is cute. She sleeps on our bed or wherever she wants because since she uses her toilet, she doesn't need to be "crated."

Also, she keeps herself scrupulously clean and even though her food stinks, her fur somehow smells of sunshine and marshmallows all the time.

I'll see myself out now.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 11:07     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Thanks all. We made an appointment to return her. This has been a terrible year and this was just a miserable experience from start to finish. I feel like such a POS but I need my life back.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:58     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
None of these crate recommendations help if the dog barks and howls nonstop in the crate. Many of us don’t have the luxury of living in a SFH and neighbors won’t tolerate barking all day.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:55     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Was this your first dog ever? I will never understand people who decide to complicate their lives for no reason. You get a dog because it adds to your life.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:50     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1. You're not reading her cues when she's in the house. You need eyes on her at all times. Yell at her (not hit) when you catch her in the act of peeing or pooping inside. And then take her out by the scruff of the neck and go outside, even though you know she might have finished, just to impress your displeasure upon her and get her to understand that she needs to pee and poo outside. When she does her business outside, you need to give her a high-value treat immediately, and pet and coo at her.

2. Your carpet might have too much scent on it by now and she thinks that's where she's supposed to go. If you can roll away your carpets to have them cleaned, that would be ideal. If not, all the spots she's dumped and peed on need serious soaking in one of those dog enzyme cleaners. Don't even mop it up. Let it soak for days.

3. Finally, crate. It's normal for her to whine and scream. NEVER TAKE OUT A WHINY DOG OUT OF THEIR CRATE. They're training you, not the other way around. The longer you've been obeying their "let me out!" screams, the longer it takes to train them out of it. Put on noise-canceling headphones, and earplugs at night. Put on music while in the shower. Do not cave.
You let her out when she's exhausted herself and isn't making any noise in her crate.

4. She sounds extremely anxious. You can ask your vet for anxiety meds, and you can buy a bark collar for when you leave her alone in the house. Make sure she has a high-value treat when you leave (but I know that alone doesn't cut it for anxious dogs). Even if the neighbors aren't bothered by her barking while you're out, she's hurting herself. Dogs bark naturally at various things, including wildlife and mailmen, but the boredom or separation anxiety bark is mentally unhealthy for them. My dog only barked twice with his bark collar and learned the zap wasn't what he wanted. Don't let yourself be lulled by positive-only trainers, OP. Certain dogs need aversive tools, used wisely and sparingly. I tested the zap on myself first. Always do that.


Thank you for the advice. I did entirely remove the carpet, I will treat it and sent it to a laundromat but it won't be put back until when/if she is house trained. She does settle eventually in the crate and I never let her out while whining.

For the house training - I am struggling to have eyes on her all the time. I need to shower / leave the room sometimes.


Whenever you can not have eyes on her she needs to be in the crate. And the crate needs to be small enough that she does not have room to just go in a corner of it. Also, put baby gates up to limit the areas of the house she is allowed to roam for now so she is always in your sight line.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:45     Subject: Re:I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI for the thread: "potty training" for a dog doesn't mean the dog will never have an accident. Full-grown, fully-trained dogs will still occasionally "oops" in the house. Sometimes, it's behavioral. Sometimes, it's medical and you should get them checked out. Either way, your pets will make the occasional messes throughout their lives, and that's normal. Frustrating, and occasionally disgusting, but normal pet behavior.


WHAT? No, not true. I've been around dogs all my life and have fostered multiple dogs, and no, they don't pee or poo in the house after they're trained. There are exceptions for non-neutered males who can dribble (semen, not pee), and when dogs are sick and can't hold it in (vomit and diarrhea), or elderly dogs with incontinence. But no healthy dog will pee or poo in the house after being trained.

What sort of dogs have you had???


"Sometimes, it's behavioral. Sometimes, it's medical and you should get them checked out." The point was that dogs make messes, and shouldn't be expected to never have an accident.

And the answer to your question is "over 100 breeds and a few mixes over about 4 decades now". I'm not new to this. You should slow down and read before you freak out and ALL CAPS??? Yeah? Yeah.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:23     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:How do some of you have time to do this? I’m not being snarky, but how does anyone who works deal with a puppy? I don’t think most people have all day to be playing games with the dog, putting them in and out of the crate, etc.


My golden retriever puppy was trained within literally days. Some breeds are easier than others. Goldens anre basically genetically designed to please you so if they understand “humans hate it when I poop in the house” they won’t do it.

Also, if they are coming from a home rather than a shelter they already have a concept of indoors outdoors.

OP, how much are you walking dog in the morning? My dog gets a 2-3 mile walk to start the day and then another walk at lunch. If he’s pooping in the house it suggests he isn’t walked far enough. Basically don’t go home until he’s pooped at least once.
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:11     Subject: I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:This puppy is not a good fit for your family. Definitely give it back. And do not ever get a puppy again.


THIS
Anonymous
Post 03/05/2025 10:11     Subject: Re:I was an idiot to get a puppy.
Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI for the thread: "potty training" for a dog doesn't mean the dog will never have an accident. Full-grown, fully-trained dogs will still occasionally "oops" in the house. Sometimes, it's behavioral. Sometimes, it's medical and you should get them checked out. Either way, your pets will make the occasional messes throughout their lives, and that's normal. Frustrating, and occasionally disgusting, but normal pet behavior.


WHAT? No, not true. I've been around dogs all my life and have fostered multiple dogs, and no, they don't pee or poo in the house after they're trained. There are exceptions for non-neutered males who can dribble (semen, not pee), and when dogs are sick and can't hold it in (vomit and diarrhea), or elderly dogs with incontinence. But no healthy dog will pee or poo in the house after being trained.

What sort of dogs have you had???