Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:22     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think that divorced people who remarry or cohabitate with a new partner with kids are pathetic. Blending families while kids live at
Home is unnecessary and rarely successful.

+1
Selfish losers who don’t care about their kids


MUCH better to stray married and traumatize them by constant silent treatments, condescension, screaming fights, contempt, etc. Right? At least you're klassy by keeping it all in the family.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:15     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
I think anyone bringing a child into the world all by themselves on purpose (without a partner) is absolutely crazy.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:15     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vow renewals. Just why?


My MIL wants to do a vow renewal after 50-something years. In her case, I think it's because they got married really young - they were broke at the time. Now they have money, are really established in their lives - and I think they want to bring all the people they care about together for another big celebration. (Esp the people - BIL and his family - who always have a reason why they can't travel with them, or spend more time with them, or whatever; BIL lives close to them but somehow never gets credit for being nearby; we live far away but we travel with them sometimes and there seems to be less resentment.) Also she just really enjoys planning and executing big parties!

So, a bit manipulative and also really earnest. I understand why they want to do it. If they do, we'll go unless we can't.


I actually think it is sweet to do this for an anniversary celebration for 50 or more years. They’re really celebrating their long marriage with a look back to the day they made those vows, but now with their children and grandchildren- who all exist because of this couple and their love. This sounds lovely to me.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:07     Subject: Re:What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:I think women who are still happily married after 20+ years are just wilfully ignoring their partner's flaws to be happy. I can't understand it. But none of the marriages in my extended family are or were happy so I clearly don't know anything.


Yes, this is right! This is how to live with another person - you have to be blind about some things. But it's not a bad thing.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:03     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:Vow renewals. Just why?


My MIL wants to do a vow renewal after 50-something years. In her case, I think it's because they got married really young - they were broke at the time. Now they have money, are really established in their lives - and I think they want to bring all the people they care about together for another big celebration. (Esp the people - BIL and his family - who always have a reason why they can't travel with them, or spend more time with them, or whatever; BIL lives close to them but somehow never gets credit for being nearby; we live far away but we travel with them sometimes and there seems to be less resentment.) Also she just really enjoys planning and executing big parties!

So, a bit manipulative and also really earnest. I understand why they want to do it. If they do, we'll go unless we can't.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:02     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm judgy about married couples that maintain separate finances.


Me too, unless one of them is super irresponsible and it’s to protect the family resources.

I’m also judgy of many/most divorces. Unless there is abuse, stay for the kids and find a way to live in peace. That’s what a vow means.


Hate to break it to you but people don’t always air the real reason for divorce.

There was abuse in mine. But if you ask me and I don’t know you well, I’d probably say something blah because my kids still see their father half the time.
Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 11:01     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:Separate finances is sometimes the prudent thing to do, so I don't judge that.

I judge the hell out of tradwives and their controlling, creepy husbands, though.


Possibly, but it definitely says something about the marriage and the type of commitment the couple feels toward each other. I can see feeling judgey about it and avoiding that type of marriage for oneself.

Anonymous
Post 03/03/2025 10:58     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:I'm judgy about married couples that maintain separate finances.


I found out a close friend of mine does this. They have multiple kids and have been together for many years. I think it’s genius!
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 20:27     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Separate finances is sometimes the prudent thing to do, so I don't judge that.

I judge the hell out of tradwives and their controlling, creepy husbands, though.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 20:16     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:Women who call their DH hubs or hubby.

Men who call their wife babe or my old lady.


Agree, and I’d like to add men who call their wives “my bride.” It just sounds so silly to me when people have been married 20, 30, 40 and more years. And I’ve never heard a woman call her husband “my groom.” Take that for what it’s worth.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 19:59     Subject: Re:What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
It’s obvious to everyone around you, female friend, who your husband has a crush on or has made comments to you about in private, by the way you talk about these women in reference to him. Wake up. He’s attracted to them, and you being nasty to these ladies by talking badly about them or excluding them is fooling nobody.
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 19:47     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:I think people who "stay married for the kids" are incredibly selfish. They are delusional to think it's not harmful to force their kids to be raised in a bad marriage and then divorce once the youngest is out of the house.

Nope. Studies show that statistically in tact married families produce the best outcomes for children. Even if the marriage is rocky (all marriages have struggles). To try to justify it is “delusional”
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 19:41     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:If you’re dating or in a new relationship immediately post separation, you’ve done zero work on yourself. I don’t care that “the marriage was over a long time ago.”


It’s almost always an affair that they’ve just been hiding
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 19:40     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:I think that divorced people who remarry or cohabitate with a new partner with kids are pathetic. Blending families while kids live at
Home is unnecessary and rarely successful.

+1
Selfish losers who don’t care about their kids
Anonymous
Post 03/02/2025 19:35     Subject: What's your judgmental relationship opinion?
Anonymous wrote:I'm judgy about married couples that maintain separate finances.


Me too, unless one of them is super irresponsible and it’s to protect the family resources.

I’m also judgy of many/most divorces. Unless there is abuse, stay for the kids and find a way to live in peace. That’s what a vow means.