I parent very differently from my parents and they criticize everything that I do differently repeatedly. One child grown and launched and they still criticize me for what he’s doing even though I no longer have legal control over him. I have told them to stop criticizing me and they take that boundary as an attack and escalate. I try to keep visits to a minimum and only keep them on a need to know basis.

Also nobody is perfect, what is good for someone is bad for someone else, that’s why we are individuals with our own opinions, problems , our own feelings, fingers prints, etc . No one ever is going to be 100% satisfied with the way was being raised. There is always something wrong with the way they were raised.
So yes we do what we can with what we have. Just wait until they have their own kids.

My 25 years old daughter is always talking with her friends ( girls) about their mothers.
They are always complaining criticizing their mothers blaming them for everything. I am pretty sure my daughter does this with them too. She criticized me too.

Some times she talks to me about her Friends mothers. I always tell her that her friends have to take responsibility for their own actions and make good decisions. We are individuals and we have to be responsible for our self. I tell her everyone is different and have to live their own lives. They shouldn’t compare to each other.

Adult children also need to take responsibility of their actions and behaviors as well.

+100

Anonymous wrote:I think the only response to adult children criticizing the way you raised them is to listen. Any sort of defensiveness just shuts down the communication. And if they are bringing this up to you, they are looking for your help in repairing something you might have messed up.

We all make mistakes. But refusing to take responsibility for those mistakes continues the damage. Listening and les ring can repair the damage. So which one do you want?

+1.