Anonymous wrote:My married, male neighbor has definitely lost weight, maybe 50 pounds. I am a married woman. I would consider us friends though. Would it be appropriate to say something?

see above

Anonymous wrote:I think “you look great” works well because if they are the type to want to talk about thier weight loss it opens the door to them saying “thanks, I lost 30 pounds”.

You look great means when you were heavier you looked hideous but now finally you are thinner and look good and even great. Not everyone has such strong day = bad and awful looking and thin = great and good looking so passing your judgment that finally they look decent enough for you to comment on their looks is pretty judgmental.

I think “you look great” works well because if they are the type to want to talk about thier weight loss it opens the door to them saying “thanks, I lost 30 pounds”.

I've lost 40 lbs (thanks to Ozempic, which I've been honest about) and some people have commented that I look great. I appreciate that.

There are 2 people who comment on it every time I see them, despite the fact that I've been the same weight for over a year now, and that gets old.

Never, it is so judgmental. If you wouldn't comment on weight gain then don't comment on weight loss. All it says is how negatively you view anyone with any fat on them and how happy you are to finally see them thin.

If I hear anyone comment on weight - be it you gained or you lost, I just see a very judgmental person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the thought that some one is focusing on my body. You have lost weight is basically like saying..I think of you as fat. I know that is not the intention but it is what it means to me.

If you lose a significant amount of weight, it is impossible not to notice. That doesn't mean people are "focusing on your body." If you bleach your hair, I will notice that as well but I am not "focusing on your hair."

Hair has a lot less baggage than weight.

The best thing to say is, "It's great to see you." Just ignore the whole your-body-is-the-most-important-thing-about-you issue and make them feel good. Of course, only if you mean it!

Anonymous wrote:I hate the thought that some one is focusing on my body. You have lost weight is basically like saying..I think of you as fat. I know that is not the intention but it is what it means to me.

If you lose a significant amount of weight, it is impossible not to notice. That doesn't mean people are "focusing on your body." If you bleach your hair, I will notice that as well but I am not "focusing on your hair."

nope! For many reasons - no one will tell you that you look terrible but when you gained weight but they sure will tell you how good you when you lost weight - intended or not, it ties goodness to weight loos. And this can provide a loop that allows disordered eating/dieting/exercising.

Anonymous wrote:No. We don't comment about the gain, so shouldn't comment about the loss. Their body, their business.

If you're close enough and the gain or loss seemed disordered, then sure, say something. But otherwise, no.

It's not a compliment.

Bingo! This is the answer. This why you shouldn’t say anything.

No. We don't comment about the gain, so shouldn't comment about the loss. Their body, their business.

If you're close enough and the gain or loss seemed disordered, then sure, say something. But otherwise, no.

It's not a compliment.

Anonymous wrote:I wish people commented on my weight loss, but I understand why they don't. You can tell someone they look great without mentioning their weight.

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