Anonymous wrote:Gross, PP.

You're grosser.

Anonymous wrote:Gross, PP.

What, don’t want to hear a parent can be bad? Especially a mom.

Gross, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha.

Are you my dead mother reaching out from the grave?

I'm one of three kids of a divorced mom and dad. Depending on my mother's whim. all three of us were routinely shoved off to my dad as a set, as a pair, as a single kid, then pulled back during tantrums, then sent back, then pulled back, rinse and repeat until 18.

All she really accomplished is ensuring all three of her kids hated her and that none of the siblings had any relationships with the others.

I'm 44 and I haven't spoken with my brother or sister since my late 20s

Why do you blame your mom for this and not (at least) equally your dad? Dads aren't innocent in this. Often, they are completely disengaged and the mom is trying to juggle the kids to suit the dad's mood. Why do kids rarely seem to hold dads accountable for being a full, responsible, engaged parent?

Uh, because it was my mom that did it? Look, she was a freaking c*nt. This is just one example of how she was a horrible mom. There are plenty and plenty of others.

My dad did the best he could coparenting with a mentally insane tramp. He is a wonderful man. He is kind, decent, loyal, just a great guy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha.

Are you my dead mother reaching out from the grave?

I'm one of three kids of a divorced mom and dad. Depending on my mother's whim. all three of us were routinely shoved off to my dad as a set, as a pair, as a single kid, then pulled back during tantrums, then sent back, then pulled back, rinse and repeat until 18.

All she really accomplished is ensuring all three of her kids hated her and that none of the siblings had any relationships with the others.

I'm 44 and I haven't spoken with my brother or sister since my late 20s

Why do you blame your mom for this and not (at least) equally your dad? Dads aren't innocent in this. Often, they are completely disengaged and the mom is trying to juggle the kids to suit the dad's mood. Why do kids rarely seem to hold dads accountable for being a full, responsible, engaged parent?

Enough with the men hating.

nah, just the deadbeats and the 10% dads

No experience with this but it seems problematic to never have the three kids together, and to never have off-time as a single parent, which is critical when single parenting.

If you are going for 1-1 alone time with the kids, perhaps work out a rotation that allows for 24 hours or a weekend for each kid with each parent (meaning the "on" parent gives that time up to send them to the "off" parent).

So if Dad has the kids Weeks 1 and 3 and Mom has the kids Weeks 2 and 4, then Fridays of Week 1 Mom gets Brayden alone, Saturdays of Week 1 Mom gets Jayden alone, and Sundays of Week 1 Mom gets Cayden alone. Dad does the same for Week 2. This still allows for maintaining the regular schedule and for alone time (with a potential weekend away) for parents.

This works for small kids. Hard to enforce family-time over social-time for older children, and for high schoolers they also need to focus on work and extracurriculars so it's even hard to enforce family-time on weekday evenings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha.

Are you my dead mother reaching out from the grave?

I'm one of three kids of a divorced mom and dad. Depending on my mother's whim. all three of us were routinely shoved off to my dad as a set, as a pair, as a single kid, then pulled back during tantrums, then sent back, then pulled back, rinse and repeat until 18.

All she really accomplished is ensuring all three of her kids hated her and that none of the siblings had any relationships with the others.

I'm 44 and I haven't spoken with my brother or sister since my late 20s

Why do you blame your mom for this and not (at least) equally your dad? Dads aren't innocent in this. Often, they are completely disengaged and the mom is trying to juggle the kids to suit the dad's mood. Why do kids rarely seem to hold dads accountable for being a full, responsible, engaged parent?

Enough with the men hating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha.

Are you my dead mother reaching out from the grave?

I'm one of three kids of a divorced mom and dad. Depending on my mother's whim. all three of us were routinely shoved off to my dad as a set, as a pair, as a single kid, then pulled back during tantrums, then sent back, then pulled back, rinse and repeat until 18.

All she really accomplished is ensuring all three of her kids hated her and that none of the siblings had any relationships with the others.

I'm 44 and I haven't spoken with my brother or sister since my late 20s

Why do you blame your mom for this and not (at least) equally your dad? Dads aren't innocent in this. Often, they are completely disengaged and the mom is trying to juggle the kids to suit the dad's mood. Why do kids rarely seem to hold dads accountable for being a full, responsible, engaged parent?

and why do you blame her for the lack of relationship with your siblings? isn't that between your siblings and you?

Anonymous wrote:Ha.

Are you my dead mother reaching out from the grave?

I'm one of three kids of a divorced mom and dad. Depending on my mother's whim. all three of us were routinely shoved off to my dad as a set, as a pair, as a single kid, then pulled back during tantrums, then sent back, then pulled back, rinse and repeat until 18.

All she really accomplished is ensuring all three of her kids hated her and that none of the siblings had any relationships with the others.

I'm 44 and I haven't spoken with my brother or sister since my late 20s

Why do you blame your mom for this and not (at least) equally your dad? Dads aren't innocent in this. Often, they are completely disengaged and the mom is trying to juggle the kids to suit the dad's mood. Why do kids rarely seem to hold dads accountable for being a full, responsible, engaged parent?

Ha.

Are you my dead mother reaching out from the grave?

I'm one of three kids of a divorced mom and dad. Depending on my mother's whim. all three of us were routinely shoved off to my dad as a set, as a pair, as a single kid, then pulled back during tantrums, then sent back, then pulled back, rinse and repeat until 18.

All she really accomplished is ensuring all three of her kids hated her and that none of the siblings had any relationships with the others.

I'm 44 and I haven't spoken with my brother or sister since my late 20s

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three young kids, trying to figure out custody. Both parents want (and want the other to have) 50/50. Considering having one parent take one kid and the other parent the other two certain days a week, then switching. Anyone do this? I know a lot of the responses will be about what a logistical nightmare this is, but there are mitigating factors that will make it easier (houses five minutes away from each other, flexible work schedules, all kids in same school, local family support).

Leave the kids switch the parents. Two adults divide their week at the marital home. Get a condo or apartment nearby.

Most people cannot afford that.

Why would anyone what to sleep in the same bed as their ex and AP? No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three young kids, trying to figure out custody. Both parents want (and want the other to have) 50/50. Considering having one parent take one kid and the other parent the other two certain days a week, then switching. Anyone do this? I know a lot of the responses will be about what a logistical nightmare this is, but there are mitigating factors that will make it easier (houses five minutes away from each other, flexible work schedules, all kids in same school, local family support).

Leave the kids switch the parents. Two adults divide their week at the marital home. Get a condo or apartment nearby.

Most people cannot afford that.

Anonymous wrote:Your kids stay in their beds and rooms seven days a week. You switch out which parent is at home. Everyone once in a while the parent not in the house can have a “special day” with each kid.

Dad’s affair partner won’t go for this.

OP, the AP and her successors are going to be a big part of the kids’ day to day. I’d simplify otherwise and use your time off for therapy &/or a support group. There used to be meet up groups for divorcing moms that were partly support and partly social.

Anonymous wrote:Three young kids, trying to figure out custody. Both parents want (and want the other to have) 50/50. Considering having one parent take one kid and the other parent the other two certain days a week, then switching. Anyone do this? I know a lot of the responses will be about what a logistical nightmare this is, but there are mitigating factors that will make it easier (houses five minutes away from each other, flexible work schedules, all kids in same school, local family support).

Leave the kids switch the parents. Two adults divide their week at the marital home. Get a condo or apartment nearby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Three young kids, trying to figure out custody. Both parents want (and want the other to have) 50/50. Considering having one parent take one kid and the other parent the other two certain days a week, then switching. Anyone do this? I know a lot of the responses will be about what a logistical nightmare this is, but there are mitigating factors that will make it easier (houses five minutes away from each other, flexible work schedules, all kids in same school, local family support).

Don’t split your kids up. They need each other and for you to take they away from them will be so damaging.

Only if they get along.