Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with sex clubs is that activity favors women. I'm reasonably attractive, in good shape, blah blah blah. But nobody is going to mistake me for Tom Brady or George Clooney, if those are what women perceive as the ultimate. Yet my wife, who most men would generally find attractive could find action without lifting a finger.

If you're even a little bit attracted to the same-sex, you should market yourself as "Straight dad seeks relief after work". You will get action, and tons of it.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with sex clubs is that activity favors women. I'm reasonably attractive, in good shape, blah blah blah. But nobody is going to mistake me for Tom Brady or George Clooney, if those are what women perceive as the ultimate. Yet my wife, who most men would generally find attractive could find action without lifting a finger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I opened the marriage- it’s been 2 years, I don’t think we will divorce any time soon. We don’t advertise it and nobody would suspect.

How do you find other people if no one suspects?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’d rather get an STD than not have sex at all.

This mindset is really flawed, OP. Catch the wrong STD and you won’t be having sex with anyone. Please protect yourself.

Which STD is this? People live full lives with HIV treatment. It’s not a death sentence anymore.

I have a friend who had most of her vagina removed because of HPV. She isn’t having sex anymore, and I’m sure she’s not alone.

Also, I hope people with HIV aren’t casually having sex with multiple partners at swingers or bdsm clubs, are you seriously promoting this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’d rather get an STD than not have sex at all.

This mindset is really flawed, OP. Catch the wrong STD and you won’t be having sex with anyone. Please protect yourself.

Which STD is this? People live full lives with HIV treatment. It’s not a death sentence anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I’d rather get an STD than not have sex at all.

This mindset is really flawed, OP. Catch the wrong STD and you won’t be having sex with anyone. Please protect yourself.

Which STD is this? People live full lives with HIV treatment. It’s not a death sentence anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

I’d rather get an STD than not have sex at all.

This mindset is really flawed, OP. Catch the wrong STD and you won’t be having sex with anyone. Please protect yourself.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with sex clubs is that activity favors women. I'm reasonably attractive, in good shape, blah blah blah. But nobody is going to mistake me for Tom Brady or George Clooney, if those are what women perceive as the ultimate. Yet my wife, who most men would generally find attractive could find action without lifting a finger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds great! You’ve managed to bring yourselves closer and find more sexual fulfillment together, not separately. I’ve known plenty of couples who seem to do as well or better in the lifestyle than they were before. Just make sure you always have complete open communication.

Wondering genuinely whether clubs like this require testing and people have to make test results available to each other. DCUM has a fair share of "Go away, don't mention STDs, no one cares" lurkers who hate this topic, but it does actually matter. I'm really not questioning or judging the existence of the clubs etc., but wondering how participants can feel they can relax enough, if they don't have some assurance about basic sexual health.

There is this thing called condom. Maybe you didn't know about it. Google it. Now you know.

Ignoramus. Some STDs can be spread in ways other than penetrative sex. And for penetrative sex, condoms are never a guarantee against STDs, just like they're never a guarantee against pregnancy. Google it. Now you know.

I’d rather get an STD than not have sex at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading between the lines of OP’s post, the broader issues were:

- sexless marriage + not talking about it

How common is that here on DCUM ?

OP here. You are right. We spent years just barely talking about it. I was afraid to probe. Afraid the answer might be something I couldn’t deal with and I didn’t want to divorce. And for a long time, this worked. We got along fine; we were in a partnership raising kids. Then we stopped getting along, and it became unbearable to me. I don’t believe that he really understood why until all these talks. He was feeling lack of desire for me but didn't really understand the reason why.
I am sharing our experience because I’m sure it’s a common problem on DCUM and elsewhere. I would urge other people to be braver than we were about this very difficult topic.