Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 14:03     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
I had one sibling like this. My mother said he didn't have to go to college, but if he lived at home, he has to be enrolled in two classes of some kind - it could be community college, technical/trade school, etc.

They slowly did an Associates degree. Transferred to a four-year college and graduated in two years. I think our family was more excited for that graduation than for anyone else's.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 13:44     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
OP- thank you for the responses.

I am hoping that, as some have suggested, he is fried from school and that a lighter load next year will improve things. I honestly don’t believe he is interested in a trade and day trading isn’t a viable alternative to an education. I will continue with the couple of college tours that we have scheduled and then drop the matter until summer.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 11:38     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
I did same thing. My Mom said you dont go, day after HS graduation all your stuff is on the curb and dont think of ever coming back here again even for Thanksgiving or XMAS. At time all my stuff I actually owned could fit into a small duffle bag and my bank accout had $200 bucks in it.

I graduated college and went back to get MBA at 29 part time. It was hard to juggle work and MBA and my grades were falling. My Mom gave me same speech. There are no drop outs in her family. I graduated.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 11:31     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Walmart/landscaping each summer sends like a great idea, but create a savings account and have him dump his “rent” to you into a savings account that he can access at 18 or 21.

My friend didn’t want to go to college, so her parents did this during a gap year. She was *very* motivated to go to college afterwards.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 11:18     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is a junior in HS taking a tough load this year. He is saying he doesn’t want to go to college, it’s not worth it, etc. Says he can make $ trading stocks, going into a trade, or some other way. I fear this is a combo on burnout and TikTok influence. I would be fine with him going into a trade but he has never shown the slightest interest in any of them. Daytrading doesn’t seem like a sustainable strategy. Thoughts? Similar experiences? Clearly, a summer job is in order so he gets what it is to work.


Your DS is right. Unfortunately, upwardly mobile parents can’t stand to not have their kids go to college, even if it’s not in their kid’s best interests.


So are you saying your kids aren't going to college?


I didn't say that, but I will say college isn't for everybody. Our older child, yes. Our yougest, maybe not. She's a HS junior and we're looking at options that are not college.

Thanks for asking.


I hope you encourage your daughter to not close the door on college.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 11:10     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is a junior in HS taking a tough load this year. He is saying he doesn’t want to go to college, it’s not worth it, etc. Says he can make $ trading stocks, going into a trade, or some other way. I fear this is a combo on burnout and TikTok influence. I would be fine with him going into a trade but he has never shown the slightest interest in any of them. Daytrading doesn’t seem like a sustainable strategy. Thoughts? Similar experiences? Clearly, a summer job is in order so he gets what it is to work.


Your DS is right. Unfortunately, upwardly mobile parents can’t stand to not have their kids go to college, even if it’s not in their kid’s best interests.


So are you saying your kids aren't going to college?


I didn't say that, but I will say college isn't for everybody. Our older child, yes. Our yougest, maybe not. She's a HS junior and we're looking at options that are not college.

Thanks for asking.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 10:58     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:He might be right. My god-daughter dropped out from college and became an influencer in Miami. Financially she is doing a whole
lot better than her college grad peers!

What's the retirement plan like?
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 10:40     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
good for him!!! College is, mostly, a bad deal. Don't follow the 'herd...
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 10:40     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:I have an uncle who dropped out of high school. He now owns dozens of gas stations, motels, hotels (including a decently nice Courtyard). We don’t know his net worth, but he had to write his wife a $20M check as part of their divorce settlement 10 years ago.

I grew up in an UMC/UC neighborhood. The house across the street had a three car garage with three Mercedes for two people and the wife was on the City newspaper’s best-dressed list. He was a plumber by trade who eventually owned a huge plumbing company.

When my sophomore whines about how much he hates school, I remind him he doesn’t have to go to college, but he does have to work and pay his own bills if he doesn’t.


Yes, you can do well in the trades. But you have to be motivated and have a plan. Just showing up for work and doing the minimum doesn't get you there.
Those who do best typically move into management/ownership of the Trade company. Also, keep in mind that trades are hard physical work, so by age 45, you might no longer be able to actually do the work---your body might not allow it anymore. But yes, plenty of people in trades do well.

Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 10:36     Subject: Re:DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:Its great that he's a junior and saying this, so he has time to plan.
He definitely does not need to go to college right out of high school, nor do you need to support him financially once he graduates high school.
Let him know that you support his decision and that if he wants to go to trade school or CC you can offer to pay tuition or let him live at home while he gets his training. If he wants to go straight to work, explain that once he graduates HS he will need to find a place to live and a job. Period.
He can always go to college later. There is no law that says you need to go immediately after high school.

I am wondering how many people on this forum did not go to college or have have family members who did not. In my family, 3 of us did not go to college at all or go at the traditional time and we all turned out just fine.



People with a BS/BA versus only a HS degree earn on average $1.2M more over a lifetime. That is huge. Not to mention, so many "office jobs" now require a college degree, even if they don't "really need it to do the job".
So yes, you can survive life without a College degree, but it is sure as Hell much easier and much more likely to give you a singnificanly higher salary and job prospects with one.

Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 10:26     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:He might be right. My god-daughter dropped out from college and became an influencer in Miami. Financially she is doing a whole
lot better than her college grad peers!


Tough to sustain that sort of popularity, though. It isn't a career plan.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 09:43     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is a junior in HS taking a tough load this year. He is saying he doesn’t want to go to college, it’s not worth it, etc. Says he can make $ trading stocks, going into a trade, or some other way. I fear this is a combo on burnout and TikTok influence. I would be fine with him going into a trade but he has never shown the slightest interest in any of them. Daytrading doesn’t seem like a sustainable strategy. Thoughts? Similar experiences? Clearly, a summer job is in order so he gets what it is to work.


Your DS is right. Unfortunately, upwardly mobile parents can’t stand to not have their kids go to college, even if it’s not in their kid’s best interests.


Non-college graduates make about $1 million less over their careers. They have fewer options if their first career/job falls through. Not going to college is a mistake. I don't care what my kids do for a job, but they will finish college.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 09:40     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
I have an uncle who dropped out of high school. He now owns dozens of gas stations, motels, hotels (including a decently nice Courtyard). We don’t know his net worth, but he had to write his wife a $20M check as part of their divorce settlement 10 years ago.

I grew up in an UMC/UC neighborhood. The house across the street had a three car garage with three Mercedes for two people and the wife was on the City newspaper’s best-dressed list. He was a plumber by trade who eventually owned a huge plumbing company.

When my sophomore whines about how much he hates school, I remind him he doesn’t have to go to college, but he does have to work and pay his own bills if he doesn’t.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 09:33     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:He might be right. My god-daughter dropped out from college and became an influencer in Miami. Financially she is doing a whole
lot better than her college grad peers!


Compare where she'll be in 10 years vs say, a Physician's Assistant. 5 years. 3 years.

Life is long.
Anonymous
Post 01/21/2025 09:26     Subject: DS says he doesn’t want to go to college
Anonymous wrote:Zuck never graduated from college.

He is worth $220 billion.

Most people can't do this.