Anonymous wrote:I don't think you should be encouraging your FIVE YEAR OLD to pick a life path where she's dependent on her romantic partner for her financial sustenance.

It's a completely valid choice for an adult to make when she's weighed all the options, but it's a weird thing for parents to encourage in their child.

Isn’t any career a weird thing to encourage in a five year old?

I always cringe a little when I hear people tell little kids that they would be a good lawyer because they like to whine and argue. Or that little Larla is going to be a doctor one day.

For me it was when I was 27ish and watching the parents of young kids in my office struggling with my same job hours and travel. Every single one with two working parents was always stressed, stretched and missing something.

I didn’t decide I wanted to be a SAHM, but I did decide I didn’t want to try to raise a family with two jobs with long hours and little flexibility. I felt conned.

I know this isn’t what the troll OP was going for and we’re supposed to be arguing about whether young women on tiktok are bad people, but I think that’s misogyny taking our eye off the ball.

You either change work to accommodate young families, or young families have to leave work.

My kindergartener told me he wanted to be a cat when he grew up. Now he was definitely trolling me, but it was funny. He then pretended to be a cat for a solid ten minutes (which is actually a pretty long time to be crawling around meowing).

He's a fun kid.

I think OP could have put that her daughter wanted to be almost anything (a vet, a lawyer, an ice cream shop owner), and people would have posted about how stupid and wrong she is.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a lawyer, and one thing that's pretty consistent about my colleagues is that they met their spouses either in college or law school. My friend who's a pediatrician? Married to another pediatrician.

Point is, you can't just be a SAH parent, you have to be the kind of person someone with an income enough to support that kind of family would marry. College grads tend very strongly to marry other college grads.

Google "assertive mating" and "college" and you can read more about this.

I posted that I became a SAHM at 38. I met DH when I was at an Ivy League grad school.

My friend who wanted to be a SAHM all her life didn’t finish college and worked odd jobs her whole life. She would have been a WAY better SAHM than me. My academic and career experience doesn’t translate well to homemaking. I do have 3 smart kids.

I'm a lawyer, and one thing that's pretty consistent about my colleagues is that they met their spouses either in college or law school. My friend who's a pediatrician? Married to another pediatrician.

Point is, you can't just be a SAH parent, you have to be the kind of person someone with an income enough to support that kind of family would marry. College grads tend very strongly to marry other college grads.

Google "assertive mating" and "college" and you can read more about this.

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Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

The vast majority of people are working to out food on the table, princess. Most jobs that need to be done aren’t anyone’s dream jobs. Pull your head out, please.

The vast majority of people on this site went to college and many went to grad school. There aren’t a lot of factory workers here.
You deliberately chose your field, you deliberately chose the job you have in it, and you deliberately choose to go to that job every day instead of getting a different one.
If you are doing something you hate, that’s on you.

Have you always been a miserable B or are you just grumpy about the inauguration?

Are you under the impression that white collar workers don’t hate their jobs? I would bet that many factory workers actively have more job satisfaction than the average sales call powerpoint making office worker. You are so out of touch it’s laughable.

But, like many, I didn’t know at 18 (when I started down my difficult and time-consuming career path) that the extremely useful, practical field I chose to study wouldn’t lead to ever lasting contentment and happiness. So you know what I did? I quit to be a SAHM! My kids make me way happier than dealing with entitled people like you every day…

I’m not miserable. I, like most people who have the option, chose a career that I like. Sounds like you are happy in your chosen career too.

I don’t know who the poor soul is that is commuting to a job they hate with coworkers and a boss that don’t appreciate them and a family that doesn’t see them and doesn’t miss them.
I hope that person is able to see that they have other options.

I’ve been a SAHM for over a decade, but I think aiming to be a SAH parent before you even get married is unwise. I obviously don’t think, as some people say, a woman has to keep working “just in case” she gets divorced, but I DO think it’s important she has the education and skills to support her family if needed.

When I was young my mom worked crazy long hours in a male dominated field and I knew I wanted a career that gave me flexibility and time with my family, even if it wasn’t super lucrative. I had this career until DH made more than enough for us both and then I stopped working. So I didn’t dream of being a SAHM, but I did dream of putting a fair amount of time into being domestic and raising kids.

I knew in grad school I wanted to be at most half time when my kids were young. I ended up doing that for a few years then almost entirely sahm (while keeping up credentials) for a few years and now back 3/4 time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

The vast majority of people are working to out food on the table, princess. Most jobs that need to be done aren’t anyone’s dream jobs. Pull your head out, please.

The vast majority of people on this site went to college and many went to grad school. There aren’t a lot of factory workers here.
You deliberately chose your field, you deliberately chose the job you have in it, and you deliberately choose to go to that job every day instead of getting a different one.
If you are doing something you hate, that’s on you.

Have you always been a miserable B or are you just grumpy about the inauguration?

Are you under the impression that white collar workers don’t hate their jobs? I would bet that many factory workers actively have more job satisfaction than the average sales call powerpoint making office worker. You are so out of touch it’s laughable.

But, like many, I didn’t know at 18 (when I started down my difficult and time-consuming career path) that the extremely useful, practical field I chose to study wouldn’t lead to ever lasting contentment and happiness. So you know what I did? I quit to be a SAHM! My kids make me way happier than dealing with entitled people like you every day…

Your 5 yr old knows the term "sahm"? Fake news.

You made it up so you coukd start the good ol' sahm v wohm battle.

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Anonymous wrote:There is a new social media trend on tradwives. Beautiful young women have traditional gender roles and stay home, cook healthy meals, raise their kids and have beautiful homes.

Yet another reason social media is toxic. I’d rather my daughter be a garbage collector than a SAHM.

Well at least she knows how much you value her.

For context, I’m 57.

I used to daydream about being married and having children when I was in middle school.

Always adored babies and children. Began babysitting at 12, was a nurses aide in a hospital newborn nursery as young teen.

Vividly recall being upset that a favorite high school teacher took temporary leave to care for her long-awaited, adopted newborn. I was upset not that she was taking leave but that she was returning to work.

Briefly argued against college with my father. Why go to college if I want to be a SAHM? He knew best and proclaimed that I’d be a college-educated housewife. Got a liberal arts degree.

Dated according to my values and wouldn’t have married a man who didn’t want children and a traditional (old-fashioned) marriage. I had two serious boyfriends before I met eventual DH.

I often needed to remind myself that I was literally living my dreams when I became a SAHM at 29.

I wouldn’t change one thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

The vast majority of people are working to out food on the table, princess. Most jobs that need to be done aren’t anyone’s dream jobs. Pull your head out, please.

The vast majority of people on this site went to college and many went to grad school. There aren’t a lot of factory workers here.
You deliberately chose your field, you deliberately chose the job you have in it, and you deliberately choose to go to that job every day instead of getting a different one.
If you are doing something you hate, that’s on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're pleased with this? Why?

OP here. I meant to say that I'd be satisfied with almost any path she chooses.

Problem with this path is that she needs to find someone who will support and take care of her as an adult and never change their mind. That’s a tough life.

It’s really not that tough. Working your ass off at a job you hate (or merely tolerate) for a boss and coworkers who don’t appreciate you, commuting through traffic for a couple hours every day, barely seeing your spouse, barely seeing your kids… now THAT’S a tough life.

Why would you do that? I mean, you can do any job you want to do. Why pick one you hate?

The vast majority of people are working to out food on the table, princess. Most jobs that need to be done aren’t anyone’s dream jobs. Pull your head out, please.