No jeans, no combat boots. Think something like this----wide leg trousers (or a trouser skirt, perhaps), a fitted top, nice belt and shoes, tasteful jewelry, maybe a cropped jacket or cardigan to layer if needed. Not necessarily this color scheme, but winter white never hurts. I'm not a Gwyneth fan in general, but she's pretty good with outfits that are appropriate in multiple settings.

Anonymous wrote:As the wife of a senior partner at a DC firm who's hosted these dinners, don't wear jeans or the combat boots (tbh, I don't want them traipsing all over my nice wood floors and area rugs).

Your satin skirt and sweater idea is fine - for me, I'd be nervous about spilling something on myself, but I'm kind of like clutzy like Keri Russell's character in The Diplomat.

Wouldn’t pumps be worse? Honest question. We also have nice floors and fancy rugs and I shudder when the pumps come in.

As the wife of a senior partner at a DC firm who's hosted these dinners, don't wear jeans or the combat boots (tbh, I don't want them traipsing all over my nice wood floors and area rugs).

Your satin skirt and sweater idea is fine - for me, I'd be nervous about spilling something on myself, but I'm kind of like clutzy like Keri Russell's character in The Diplomat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:are you in DC? Would not wear obvious luxury brands or the partners will think they are paying your DH too much - jk sort of. Idea as spouse is to blend in and look nice but not too noticeable in stodgy place like DC

Hmmm okay. I work too, but makes sense. I buy like one luxury thing a year.

Looking like you spend a lot on luxury clothes is a subtle point that more people should be aware of.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with something appropriate for a business casual office. Something simple in a dark color with maybe some kitten heel slingback - like this https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-nastia-v-neck-belted-cocktail-dress-0400021571140.html?dwvar_0400021571140_color=BLUE+NOTTE

This is pretty and would absolutely work, OP!

Not with the V neck and OP being busty. Doesn't work at a firm party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Law firm partner here: For a spouse, the number one rule is not to stick out. Black pants, nice blouse, cashmere sweater over shoulders. Whatever shoes are not flashy. If you feel compelled to wear a skirt, something mid-length and not satin with a sweater.

I don’t think anyone actually really has a sweater over their shoulders IRL but I get what you’re saying.

I do. I've done that all my life. What you think of as "Grandma" is the way a lot of conservative UMC people dress, even young ones. I am not the sort of own any combat boots, Chanel or otherwise. I am the sort to wear Hermes scarves and cashmere twin set, with a nice tweed skirt. A la British aristocracy

Enjoy. Im not 80 or cos playing. That just sounds affected and like it would really call attention.

DP. I'm guessing this is your first firm dinner at someone's home?

No. I’m a lawyer at a firm also. Nobody is cosplaying British aristocracy. Does that make me a bumpkin? I’m okay with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Law firm partner here: For a spouse, the number one rule is not to stick out. Black pants, nice blouse, cashmere sweater over shoulders. Whatever shoes are not flashy. If you feel compelled to wear a skirt, something mid-length and not satin with a sweater.

I don’t think anyone actually really has a sweater over their shoulders IRL but I get what you’re saying.

I do. I've done that all my life. What you think of as "Grandma" is the way a lot of conservative UMC people dress, even young ones. I am not the sort of own any combat boots, Chanel or otherwise. I am the sort to wear Hermes scarves and cashmere twin set, with a nice tweed skirt. A la British aristocracy

Enjoy. Im not 80 or cos playing. That just sounds affected and like it would really call attention.

DP. I'm guessing this is your first firm dinner at someone's home?

Anonymous wrote:You people are so uptight. Can't even let down you silly masks at a coworker's house. Have to be performatively fake at all time.

NP. If this was OP's firm dinner, then she could do what she wants, risk her own career. But at a spouse's dinner her job is to be an asset to his/her advancement, whether you like that reality or not.

Anonymous wrote:They’re these, not too crazy
https://images.app.goo.gl/JGosiyQnNRyRiza6A

God no.

You people are so uptight. Can't even let down you silly masks at a coworker's house. Have to be performatively fake at all time.

Anonymous wrote:I would wear the silk skirt with a sweater of these choices. No jeans, no combat boots. You want to fit in, not stand out at a first meeting for a spouse’s job.

Very much this. You can look good, but don't stand out in a way that doesn't blend. Hard no on jeans and combat-ish boots unless your partner works from some sort of artistic firm, and not a financial or law firm. I've found the best "spouse" attire is looking great but also fitting in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with something appropriate for a business casual office. Something simple in a dark color with maybe some kitten heel slingback - like this https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-nastia-v-neck-belted-cocktail-dress-0400021571140.html?dwvar_0400021571140_color=BLUE+NOTTE

This is pretty and would absolutely work, OP!

Isn't that too work-y for this kind of thing?

Goodness yes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re these, not too crazy
https://images.app.goo.gl/JGosiyQnNRyRiza6A

Um, NO.

Person who said they wanted to borrow them here, and no I really don’t like them. I thought they’d be more blingy and dressy.

No pretty basic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go with something appropriate for a business casual office. Something simple in a dark color with maybe some kitten heel slingback - like this https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/chiara-boni-la-petite-robe-nastia-v-neck-belted-cocktail-dress-0400021571140.html?dwvar_0400021571140_color=BLUE+NOTTE

This is pretty and would absolutely work, OP!

Isn't that too work-y for this kind of thing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re these, not too crazy
https://images.app.goo.gl/JGosiyQnNRyRiza6A

Um, NO.

Person who said they wanted to borrow them here, and no I really don’t like them. I thought they’d be more blingy and dressy.