Just follow the will. If needed, get a therapist to help you process everything and help coach you so you just remain calm and unemotional with her. Honor your dad's wishes and do your part to keep things drama free. You have a right to all your feelings, but that does not have any impact on making sure you do right by the will. If it helped you to post all that backstory here and you felt better, continue to do so, but it does not change the fact you need to simply honor the will.

Anonymous wrote:POD, beneficiary, joint accounts are all non-probate. There’s nothing the sister can do and op would be foolish to tell her.

This. These accounts are not subject to the will as they are non probate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If op's dad was the sole name/owner on the account with no named beneficiary, than the account would have to go through probate and be evenly divided betwen the two daughters. By adding a joint account holder and naming a beneficiary, the dad made the account a non-probate asset.

I think that's what's confusing some people. The sister can breath fire and cry crocodile tears but she has no legal claim to the funds.

The dad might've done it intentionally because you can add multiple beneficiaries and account holders. Op, I would assume it was his intent for the money to go to you only.

No. Joint account does not always equal rights to survivorship. If it was not designated RTS, then half goes thru probate.

OP, ask a lawyer.

The legal default for joint accounts is rights of survivorship, however. So unless OP was informed it wasn't that kind of account, it almost certainly is.

For all we know the parents were enabling. ALl the siblings sound a bit deranged. Why is OP looking to do anything that is shady with the law?

I was the executor and trustee of my parent's estate, and I have two siblings - each of whom struggle w/ addiction and mental illness.

Having legal advice was CRITICAL to navigating the waters. In your shoes I would:

- take all the relevant paperwork to your house. Don't destroy it but take it with you so you can sort it through.
- Talk w/ an estate attorney. Let her/him tell you which accounts fall outside estate/probate issues and just transfer to you, and which do not. Get that guidance in writing.
- Put all historical statements, intents, etc... to the side. Just get the estate legally processed, as transparently and quickly as possible.

The law will be your ally if you use it from the start. All the emotional crud will only inflame tensions and make things more complicated and painful than they already are.

Good luck.

OP is missing like the bank accounts.

Anonymous wrote:If op's dad was the sole name/owner on the account with no named beneficiary, than the account would have to go through probate and be evenly divided betwen the two daughters. By adding a joint account holder and naming a beneficiary, the dad made the account a non-probate asset.

I think that's what's confusing some people. The sister can breath fire and cry crocodile tears but she has no legal claim to the funds.

The dad might've done it intentionally because you can add multiple beneficiaries and account holders. Op, I would assume it was his intent for the money to go to you only.

No. Joint account does not always equal rights to survivorship. If it was not designated RTS, then half goes thru probate.

OP, ask a lawyer.

If op's dad was the sole name/owner on the account with no named beneficiary, than the account would have to go through probate and be evenly divided betwen the two daughters. By adding a joint account holder and naming a beneficiary, the dad made the account a non-probate asset.

I think that's what's confusing some people. The sister can breath fire and cry crocodile tears but she has no legal claim to the funds.

The dad might've done it intentionally because you can add multiple beneficiaries and account holders. Op, I would assume it was his intent for the money to go to you only.

OP, do you have a probate/estate lawyer? I’d suggest speaking with one and following their advice on how to deal with this situation. They know the law of the state where your father died and will be able to guide you in the process.

Don’t be like my relative who refused to hire a lawyer and made a mess of what should have been a simple estate. A lawyer would have streamlined the process and saved the beneficiaries quite a bit in taxes and fines.