Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people got need based scholarships or reduced cost loans for college, they had help. Those programs are meant to help.

+1

This is NOT the same as growing up MC or UMC.

I grew up poor and received a combo of Pell Grants, loans, and merit-based scholarships to attend an in-state university. I worked six days a week in HS and as an undergrad to pay for food, rent, and remaining tuition. My EFC was a big fat zero and I received exactly zero dollars from my family. As a young person I was cold, hungry, and housing insecure.

But if it makes you feel better to tell poor people that their Pell Grants were as good as having mommy and daddy pay for calc tutors, SAT prep, sleep-away camp, European vacations, undergraduate tuition, cars, down payments on homes, and grad school … then your willful ignorance about the real world is shameful. I’m sure you’re the first to complain that “UMC families are so so disadvantaged when it comes to college admissions.” I’m sure your spoiled children look down their noses at the scholarship kids as well.

And we wonder why Trump won the working class?

LOL, "being reminded we live in a society is why we voted for a traitorous felon!" Trump voters truly are the biggest snowflakes on earth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom did it entirely on her own and her parents were neglectful. My life has been more comfortable though. I have never had a car loan, my parents bought my first car. I paid cash for the rest of them. My parents/grandparents fully covered undergrad. My In-laws provided downpayment and closing costs for the house.

Nobody does it entirely on their own

You are just being to be dismissive and mean. You don’t know what other people have experienced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread -- so inspiring. (Let's ignore the person who wants to argue that if your parents helped you fill out financial aid forms it's akin to generational wealth.)

I paid for my own college (loans and working during school), car, and home. I've had to help my parents financially in their retirement.

I have $2 million saved for retirement (late 50s) and still feel economically vulnerable, especially if I lose my job. I worry what will happen to SS. It would be great to have a safety net from my parents, rather than the other way around, but it is what it is. I am grateful that they encouraged me to go to college.

I'm proud of everyone here!

Great job PP. I feel economically vulnerable too. And honestly vulnerable in other ways as well. Like when things are going relatively well then something bad must happen soon. It drives my spouse crazy but I can’t help it. In my case there was a lot of family dysfunction too (originated by trauma that was not their fault) so it wasn’t just the growing up bootstrapping that was hard. I don’t know if those feeling will ever go away. And yes, at least my parents encouraged me to go to college and they showed me how to work hard. And for those things I am grateful.

Oh my gosh I feel the same! Whenever I'm happy I'm like oh great, now someone will die. Is this driven by growing up without much? Or did not growing up with much correlate with other factors that we all have in common? I think I'm answering my own question. It's probably trauma.


Sorry, don't want to veer off topic.

Also very proud of everyone here. Go team!

Praising people who are just like you--how novel

You all are just patting each other on the back in a circle and no one else is even clapping on the outside.

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread -- so inspiring. (Let's ignore the person who wants to argue that if your parents helped you fill out financial aid forms it's akin to generational wealth.)

I paid for my own college (loans and working during school), car, and home. I've had to help my parents financially in their retirement.

I have $2 million saved for retirement (late 50s) and still feel economically vulnerable, especially if I lose my job. I worry what will happen to SS. It would be great to have a safety net from my parents, rather than the other way around, but it is what it is. I am grateful that they encouraged me to go to college.

I'm proud of everyone here!

What is there to be proud of? Really? M All of this reeks of class jealousy--whites who don't have generational wealth bitter toward other whites who do. You are not any more special than they are. In fact there is something impressive about passing money down through generations, shows achievement over multiple generations.

Great job PP, making that kind of money in your 30s is seriously impressive. And it's wonderful that you are saving for retirement and college!

I’ve had many setbacks in life and have had zero help. I became independent in my late teens (in DC) in the aughts, started renting and working full-time at 19. Eventually was able to put myself through school - two degrees, now have $100k in student debt, but income increases significantly with each job and am currently interviewing for a role that would bring me to $130k.

It’s difficult paying student loans, a mortgage, saving for retirement, trying to save for college for kids, and the nebulous specter of aging parents (I’m turning 40 this year). But currently have a HHI just shy of $300k so working diligently to get out of debt and create a thriving financial future.

I’m happy for what I’ve been able to do but acutely aware of the challenges in my situation. Could be worse! Definitely doing more this year to exercise restraint. With all this money going to obligations part of me feels justified in splurging on non-necessities, which I’m finally realizing is self-defeating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread -- so inspiring. (Let's ignore the person who wants to argue that if your parents helped you fill out financial aid forms it's akin to generational wealth.)

I paid for my own college (loans and working during school), car, and home. I've had to help my parents financially in their retirement.

I have $2 million saved for retirement (late 50s) and still feel economically vulnerable, especially if I lose my job. I worry what will happen to SS. It would be great to have a safety net from my parents, rather than the other way around, but it is what it is. I am grateful that they encouraged me to go to college.

I'm proud of everyone here!

Great job PP. I feel economically vulnerable too. And honestly vulnerable in other ways as well. Like when things are going relatively well then something bad must happen soon. It drives my spouse crazy but I can’t help it. In my case there was a lot of family dysfunction too (originated by trauma that was not their fault) so it wasn’t just the growing up bootstrapping that was hard. I don’t know if those feeling will ever go away. And yes, at least my parents encouraged me to go to college and they showed me how to work hard. And for those things I am grateful.

Oh my gosh I feel the same! Whenever I'm happy I'm like oh great, now someone will die. Is this driven by growing up without much? Or did not growing up with much correlate with other factors that we all have in common? I think I'm answering my own question. It's probably trauma.


Sorry, don't want to veer off topic.

Also very proud of everyone here. Go team!

Anonymous wrote:I love this thread -- so inspiring. (Let's ignore the person who wants to argue that if your parents helped you fill out financial aid forms it's akin to generational wealth.)

I paid for my own college (loans and working during school), car, and home. I've had to help my parents financially in their retirement.

I have $2 million saved for retirement (late 50s) and still feel economically vulnerable, especially if I lose my job. I worry what will happen to SS. It would be great to have a safety net from my parents, rather than the other way around, but it is what it is. I am grateful that they encouraged me to go to college.

I'm proud of everyone here!

Great job PP. I feel economically vulnerable too. And honestly vulnerable in other ways as well. Like when things are going relatively well then something bad must happen soon. It drives my spouse crazy but I can’t help it. In my case there was a lot of family dysfunction too (originated by trauma that was not their fault) so it wasn’t just the growing up bootstrapping that was hard. I don’t know if those feeling will ever go away. And yes, at least my parents encouraged me to go to college and they showed me how to work hard. And for those things I am grateful.

I love this thread -- so inspiring. (Let's ignore the person who wants to argue that if your parents helped you fill out financial aid forms it's akin to generational wealth.)

I paid for my own college (loans and working during school), car, and home. I've had to help my parents financially in their retirement.

I have $2 million saved for retirement (late 50s) and still feel economically vulnerable, especially if I lose my job. I worry what will happen to SS. It would be great to have a safety net from my parents, rather than the other way around, but it is what it is. I am grateful that they encouraged me to go to college.

I'm proud of everyone here!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If people got need based scholarships or reduced cost loans for college, they had help. Those programs are meant to help.

+1

This is NOT the same as growing up MC or UMC.

I grew up poor and received a combo of Pell Grants, loans, and merit-based scholarships to attend an in-state university. I worked six days a week in HS and as an undergrad to pay for food, rent, and remaining tuition. My EFC was a big fat zero and I received exactly zero dollars from my family. As a young person I was cold, hungry, and housing insecure.

But if it makes you feel better to tell poor people that their Pell Grants were as good as having mommy and daddy pay for calc tutors, SAT prep, sleep-away camp, European vacations, undergraduate tuition, cars, down payments on homes, and grad school … then your willful ignorance about the real world is shameful. I’m sure you’re the first to complain that “UMC families are so so disadvantaged when it comes to college admissions.” I’m sure your spoiled children look down their noses at the scholarship kids as well.

And we wonder why Trump won the working class?

No kidding! I also worked through high school and multiple jobs at a time through college. I guess the poster claiming that we all got help and that it’s all the same as family help anyway would say that the fact that all those exhausting crappy jobs were available to me to get was help!!

Anonymous wrote:We’re not quite where you are but on the way. I must confess I get sad reading DCUM about all the generational wealth (even if they don’t think of it that way) but then I try to be proud of what we’ve achieved rather than comparing.

I’m the PP and just wanted to post again to address the misguided (nicest word I can think of) person on this thread who keeps posting that we MUST have had government assistance, scholarships for being poor, and “help filling out forms”(?!?!). No, some of us really never had any of that. I was the one helping my uneducated parents fill in their forms! And my parents were too proud to apply for government help or to tell me about any scholarship programs out there for low income families, even if they knew about them. Was I the poorest person in the world? No, but your constant assumptions and insistence that some of us have had all these advantages that we just didn’t have are frankly pretty hurtful in addition to annoying.

I am so impressed by the people who are engaging with the question (not the ones posting about how their parents paid for college but not grad school or bought them a car) and we able to achieve any financial success. Super inspiring.

To 9MM poster, what do you do for a living? Please share your story.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single mother and by living a very pared down lifestyle plus my kid choosing a college wisely, he will graduate without owing any money.

That’s amazing. Congratulations on that!