Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 08:01     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:This all illustrates lack of socialization. The parents’ and thus the kids’.

Imagine how many kids continued to. It socialize or realize there were “other ways of doing things” and just continue on.


And lack of travel or curiosity.

Can’t imagine some of these ignorant people in London or Quebec or Singapore.
Actually I can, they just put everyone else down and believe they are superior.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 08:00     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite, my mom taught me all these stupid little civilizing details such as “never pull up vertical blinds” and “no overhead lights” and how to fold towels on the hanging towel rack and use a nice pewter dish or towel-lined basket to set out things like bread at dinner , all while modeling horrific money habits and financial strain and moving us to a new apartment every 10-12 months and marrying and divorcing 3 times and not caring for the animals we adopted and on and on. All about silly stupid appearances and minor details while being an absolute mess.


My mom is a non-hand washer but ingrained all of the above in me. Add never, ever put a container on the dining table even if it’s just a family lunch. Also, pull the shades up as soon as you wake up or else people will think you are rude or lazy.

Once in a while DH turns on an overhead light in his office and I have to restrain myself from yelling at him. Our hands might be covered in germs but we can’t have people seeing that from the street and and thinking we are poor heathens!


I'm so confused. What is wrong with overhead lights? I thought I was raised with all the etiquette, but my parents missed this one.


I was taught they’re tacky and low-rent and make you look like you were raised in a trailer. Outside of the kitchen, we never used the overhead lights in our home - to this day they bother me and I don’t turn them off. It’s lamp lighting ONLY. I am not saying I care if anyone else uses overhead lights or that this is right, just that these were the kinds of “civilized details” OP laments not knowing that my mom taught me while otherwise leading a very disastrous life and not teaching important things because she didn’t know them.


Golly, wonder when recessed lights and 12’ ceilings came about.

Or does the whole world live in a little hobbit house with iridescent lighting and lamps?

My way or the highway!
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 07:59     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
This all illustrates lack of socialization. The parents’ and thus the kids’.

Imagine how many kids continued to. It socialize or realize there were “other ways of doing things” and just continue on.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 07:32     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Overhead lights are absolutely necessary for functionality. Sure, plug in some lamps if you want, but I need to be able to SEE as I walk around my house.

I don't think the overhead light one is a thing. I would like to know more


I’m one of the overhead lights PPs. I think it’s *not* a thing except in the heads of our mothers who were trying to latch on to what they saw as signifiers of being fancier people while at the same time neglecting to teach us basics like “wash your hands before cooking.”


I’m the original overhead light poster and yes this is exactly it. Like we were taught the importance of the stupidest most pointless little things like that while our parents neglected truly meaningful lessons in like, how to be functional and thriving adults.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 07:31     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite, my mom taught me all these stupid little civilizing details such as “never pull up vertical blinds” and “no overhead lights” and how to fold towels on the hanging towel rack and use a nice pewter dish or towel-lined basket to set out things like bread at dinner , all while modeling horrific money habits and financial strain and moving us to a new apartment every 10-12 months and marrying and divorcing 3 times and not caring for the animals we adopted and on and on. All about silly stupid appearances and minor details while being an absolute mess.


My mom is a non-hand washer but ingrained all of the above in me. Add never, ever put a container on the dining table even if it’s just a family lunch. Also, pull the shades up as soon as you wake up or else people will think you are rude or lazy.

Once in a while DH turns on an overhead light in his office and I have to restrain myself from yelling at him. Our hands might be covered in germs but we can’t have people seeing that from the street and and thinking we are poor heathens!


I'm so confused. What is wrong with overhead lights? I thought I was raised with all the etiquette, but my parents missed this one.


I was taught they’re tacky and low-rent and make you look like you were raised in a trailer. Outside of the kitchen, we never used the overhead lights in our home - to this day they bother me and I don’t turn them off. It’s lamp lighting ONLY. I am not saying I care if anyone else uses overhead lights or that this is right, just that these were the kinds of “civilized details” OP laments not knowing that my mom taught me while otherwise leading a very disastrous life and not teaching important things because she didn’t know them.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 07:31     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:Overhead lights are absolutely necessary for functionality. Sure, plug in some lamps if you want, but I need to be able to SEE as I walk around my house.

I don't think the overhead light one is a thing. I would like to know more


I’m one of the overhead lights PPs. I think it’s *not* a thing except in the heads of our mothers who were trying to latch on to what they saw as signifiers of being fancier people while at the same time neglecting to teach us basics like “wash your hands before cooking.”
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 07:19     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Overhead lights are absolutely necessary for functionality. Sure, plug in some lamps if you want, but I need to be able to SEE as I walk around my house.

I don't think the overhead light one is a thing. I would like to know more
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 07:18     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:The name on the birthday cake is saved and eaten by the birthday girl/boy.

Ask before you eat someone else’s leftovers - Some households are all for one, one for all and anyone can eat anyone else’s food

Another birthday cake one was everyone cringes when cutting the face on photo cakes in my childhood home. You don’t just go to chopping at the face first. That should also be saved for birthday girl/ boy thinking of it.


Those birthday cake rules are not a “thing”. Birthday kid gets a nice slice of cake, but the name is not saved.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 06:16     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m the opposite, my mom taught me all these stupid little civilizing details such as “never pull up vertical blinds” and “no overhead lights” and how to fold towels on the hanging towel rack and use a nice pewter dish or towel-lined basket to set out things like bread at dinner , all while modeling horrific money habits and financial strain and moving us to a new apartment every 10-12 months and marrying and divorcing 3 times and not caring for the animals we adopted and on and on. All about silly stupid appearances and minor details while being an absolute mess.


My mom is a non-hand washer but ingrained all of the above in me. Add never, ever put a container on the dining table even if it’s just a family lunch. Also, pull the shades up as soon as you wake up or else people will think you are rude or lazy.

Once in a while DH turns on an overhead light in his office and I have to restrain myself from yelling at him. Our hands might be covered in germs but we can’t have people seeing that from the street and and thinking we are poor heathens!


I'm so confused. What is wrong with overhead lights? I thought I was raised with all the etiquette, but my parents missed this one.


Yikes, I use overhead lights (at times - I do prefer a softer light) and don’t always raise the blinds. I also will keep good in their containers if it’s just us. I guess I’m base and crude and never knew it!
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 06:16     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:You know how at a private school or fancy college or alumni event there will be a table where it’s understood and implied that each family will take one thing and that there’s enough for all of the sets of parents expected in attendance, but no one has to be so crass as to spell it out or keep track?

Mine didn’t understand that and repeatedly took all the things and would then send them to all of our relatives. Imagine a table of 30 mugs, and one family takes everything and in their mind it’s like “perfect, one for all of the cousins!”. I think the staff or volunteers must have been too stunned to correct them.

I didn’t know the first time, I found out after the second time, and by the third time my siblings had to run interference. Dead just thinking of it.


This one is hilariously bad. So sorry PP. I wonder what went through their heads to take everything on a giveaway table. Do you have any background on that and why they would be so clueless and/or entitled? We were very sheltered and poor and would act the complete opposite- like we don't get to have something at that table. It's for Other People.

It reminds me of the people/cousins who were sitting in other people's personal beach chairs on that other thread. I just can't wrap my head around it.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 06:13     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:I don't use washcloths and I've never had an issue


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 05:55     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:Not knowing to leave a tip for hotel maids. As a kid we did a lot of camping on our vacations and rarely stayed in hotels.


Same! I figured this out in my late 20s, and I had no idea.

Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 05:43     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:I have never in my life used a washcloth, and I've always had perfect skin.

Is this a generation thing? I know my grandma used to have washcloths in her bathroom, and I know she used them to wash her face.


I only learned about it on here and thought it was a black thing.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 03:39     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
I have never in my life used a washcloth, and I've always had perfect skin.

Is this a generation thing? I know my grandma used to have washcloths in her bathroom, and I know she used them to wash her face.
Anonymous
Post 01/02/2025 02:28     Subject: Civilizing details that you missed during childhood- share here
Anonymous wrote:Had to learn how to get rid of facial hair, shape eyebrows, do mani pedi. Still bad at styling hair and dressing up.


Same here. My mom genuinely didn’t know people waxed eyebrows and upper lip or plucked. She styled my hair horribly. I still can’t get it to look good.