Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend was in a long-term relationship that ended 6 years ago because of lack of intimacy. She was going through menopause at that time and no longer wanted to be intimate and he said that they also grew apart in other ways. They remained on friendly terms and he is close to her kids who are young adults. We have been dating for a little over a year now and his ex-girlfriend continues to reach out wanting to meet up with him and at times, sending him messages or she shows up when he meets up with her kids. I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about all of this because it is clear to me that she has not really moved on (she has not dated since they broke up). I trust him and I don't think he has any romantic feelings for her and I know that he loves me a lot. We have a good relationship, great chemistry and many shared interests. I'm thinking that I should probably just let this go and not worry about it, but I can't help my feelings from time to time. He told me that she is lonely, has very few friends and seeks out his companionship.

Don't worry she is post menopause now and she probably looks like crap

That’s what OP wishes based on other posts but men can still love or at least be emotionally attached to post-menopausal women. Men lie about and downplay the other woman all the time. She could be fat, ugly, old, lonely, whatever, and that theoretically puts GF #1 at ease, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

I’m a bit surprised at the attitude towards menopausal women here. From what I read on that forum, they seem to be living life and enjoying active and fulfilling sex lives. So:

1. Dude is lying or this is another troll post from the person Jeff mentioned
2. Stop being ageist and educate yourselves on the reality of sexy vibrant women 55 and up as competition.

This is.not a troll post. I do not know if my boyfriend lied about their intimate life being impacted by menopause and I agree that many women have vibrant and full intimacy post menopause and they are also quite beautiful. But not every woman is like this. There are many women who suffer from the effects of menopause and it's not their fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend was in a long-term relationship that ended 6 years ago because of lack of intimacy. She was going through menopause at that time and no longer wanted to be intimate and he said that they also grew apart in other ways. They remained on friendly terms and he is close to her kids who are young adults. We have been dating for a little over a year now and his ex-girlfriend continues to reach out wanting to meet up with him and at times, sending him messages or she shows up when he meets up with her kids. I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about all of this because it is clear to me that she has not really moved on (she has not dated since they broke up). I trust him and I don't think he has any romantic feelings for her and I know that he loves me a lot. We have a good relationship, great chemistry and many shared interests. I'm thinking that I should probably just let this go and not worry about it, but I can't help my feelings from time to time. He told me that she is lonely, has very few friends and seeks out his companionship.

Don't worry she is post menopause now and she probably looks like crap

That’s what OP wishes based on other posts but men can still love or at least be emotionally attached to post-menopausal women. Men lie about and downplay the other woman all the time. She could be fat, ugly, old, lonely, whatever, and that theoretically puts GF #1 at ease, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

I’m a bit surprised at the attitude towards menopausal women here. From what I read on that forum, they seem to be living life and enjoying active and fulfilling sex lives. So:

1. Dude is lying or this is another troll post from the person Jeff mentioned
2. Stop being ageist and educate yourselves on the reality of sexy vibrant women 55 and up as competition.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He shouldn’t be riding the fence here. What would happen if you asked him to cut all contact with her? A one time conversation that their communication with each other is really not appropriate any longer (it’s been SIX years). The kids are old enough to call on their own.

Maybe your boyfriend is a simply a nice guy and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. I think the former girlfriend still has some feelings for him. If you are serious about the boyfriend, I think you can make some demands. The downside is you don’t really know how he will react, but wouldn’t you rather know now vs a year from now?

FWIW, I’d be careful making “demands.” If I was told by my GF that she expected me to cut off contact with someone, I’d view it as incredibly controlling, wonder why she felt so threatened, and react quite negatively. There’s a fair chance that this kind of demand will create an issue where one doesn’t actually exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend was in a long-term relationship that ended 6 years ago because of lack of intimacy. She was going through menopause at that time and no longer wanted to be intimate and he said that they also grew apart in other ways. They remained on friendly terms and he is close to her kids who are young adults. We have been dating for a little over a year now and his ex-girlfriend continues to reach out wanting to meet up with him and at times, sending him messages or she shows up when he meets up with her kids. I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about all of this because it is clear to me that she has not really moved on (she has not dated since they broke up). I trust him and I don't think he has any romantic feelings for her and I know that he loves me a lot. We have a good relationship, great chemistry and many shared interests. I'm thinking that I should probably just let this go and not worry about it, but I can't help my feelings from time to time. He told me that she is lonely, has very few friends and seeks out his companionship.

Don't worry she is post menopause now and she probably looks like crap

That’s what OP wishes based on other posts but men can still love or at least be emotionally attached to post-menopausal women. Men lie about and downplay the other woman all the time. She could be fat, ugly, old, lonely, whatever, and that theoretically puts GF #1 at ease, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

Anonymous wrote:He shouldn’t be riding the fence here. What would happen if you asked him to cut all contact with her? A one time conversation that their communication with each other is really not appropriate any longer (it’s been SIX years). The kids are old enough to call on their own.

Maybe your boyfriend is a simply a nice guy and doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. I think the former girlfriend still has some feelings for him. If you are serious about the boyfriend, I think you can make some demands. The downside is you don’t really know how he will react, but wouldn’t you rather know now vs a year from now?

Anonymous wrote:His kids live in the town with her kids? When he spends time with her kids, are his kids there too? If they aren’t, it seems odd to use his limited time in the area to see other kids rather than maximize time with his own kids. Does he travel there specifically to see her kids (ie during the school year when his kids are away at college)? Or is he in the area for work (you may have said this and I missed it).