Anonymous wrote:It has been an absolute honor to be the wife of such an amazing man. I cannot imagine life without that smile, hug or just to hear his voice. I’m always sorry when I read other women on here trashing the institution of marriage.

Well, you have a good marriage. It was the worst decision I ever made. It is truly a hell if it is bad. You are lucky. Many people have bad marriages and the institution itself sucks. You don’t need marriage to have a good man.

Anonymous wrote:My dh is the silver lining of my storm cloudy life. I love being with him and having kids with him. I don't think this means that others should emulate this lifestyle. Others have different needs and personalities and will find their way, many would not want what I have and I'm glad for that diversity in the world.
I understand op though as I've read posts here that make me want to caution my kids away from marriage despite my experience.

Interesting. I feel personally conditioned by society, but somehow don’t feel that way when it comes to my kids. I wouldn’t want my daughters to become dependent on their husbands; if they quit working outside the home I’d want them to still have separate accounts. I am scared of marriage for all of them, both sons and daughters. Yet I still want it for myself. I was raised on romcoms and during the Disney Princess era with a very trad wife mother, so it is harder for me to decondition myself than it will be for my daughters.

I love being married. I encourage DD to consider a potential spouse very carefully.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because biological urges are still a thing and it's still better to be married when you have kids.

Better for who? The mother? The children?

It's better to be married to a spouse who wants to parent the children. You need to include that part. To many people on here advocate women having children with men who (expressly) do not want children. This is selfish and unfair to children. Biological urges do not take priority over creating a stable healthy environment prior to bringing a child into the world.

Better for the parents and the children. You can't really deny this. Being a single parent is stressful and you can't do as good a job. Shuffling kids between two households is awful for everyone but mostly really horrendous for kids. Sure, a volatile abusive household with two parents is bad. But pretending that a relationship that is stable and cannot be dissolved easily is not important to children is progressive drivel. And I'm pretty damn liberal but I'm not a fool.

I’m not a liberal but my mother brought me up in a one bedroom apartment in former USSR without any custody division and shuttling me between two homes. My childhood was peaceful and happy: my promiscuous dad was a good father who visited on Sundays. He could only support mom financially a little bit, everyone was poor.
I grew up into a highly functional adult who made my first million by age 28, married for a long time and have one child. But I don’t support the idea that being married is necessarily better for the kids and/women.
My mom is doing way better than my dad in old age. She’s 72, never remarried; very sharp and in great shape traveling all over the world. His 3 failed marriages really affected his heath, both physical and financial.

Anonymous wrote:Because in your 20s you are full of hope. It isn't until it's too late that you realize how foolish you were. Not all women, just a lot, including myself. Working on my exit though.

LOL!!! Amazing, PP!!!!! Good luck with it all ♡

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because biological urges are still a thing and it's still better to be married when you have kids.

Better for who? The mother? The children?

It's better to be married to a spouse who wants to parent the children. You need to include that part. To many people on here advocate women having children with men who (expressly) do not want children. This is selfish and unfair to children. Biological urges do not take priority over creating a stable healthy environment prior to bringing a child into the world.

Better for the parents and the children. You can't really deny this. Being a single parent is stressful and you can't do as good a job. Shuffling kids between two households is awful for everyone but mostly really horrendous for kids. Sure, a volatile abusive household with two parents is bad. But pretending that a relationship that is stable and cannot be dissolved easily is not important to children is progressive drivel. And I'm pretty damn liberal but I'm not a fool.

Do we? I'm not sure we do.

Anonymous wrote:It has been an absolute honor to be the wife of such an amazing man. I cannot imagine life without that smile, hug or just to hear his voice. I’m always sorry when I read other women on here trashing the institution of marriage.

You have no idea what other women have been through. So many women want marriage and the guy just lies to them. Why can't people like you see that many men these days are addicted, dangerous, sexually promiscuous, uncommitted. There are still loads of women who want marriage- a true marriage without lies - compared to men.

Anonymous wrote:Why do women still want to be married?
Most married women playing on this forum are unhappy. And if we extrapolate to most women in this country marriage seems to be a loosing proposing for women. Yet so many women still dream of walking down the aisle. Why is that? Is it mostly for the legal, financial and medical benefits? Or is it an immense feeling of pride to be someone's else wife?

In general with anything you are more likely to get complaints than praise. Also, maybe I am cynical but I always think the over the top FB praise about spouses are either because they are currently on the struggle love bus and want to present a different picture or they think they are on a different route now and that’s why they are over the top. Someone that is happy now and has been in the past wouldn’t necessarily feel the need to brag and can read the room that other people might find it annoying.

As to why women still want to be married, I will ask my Gen Z college kids. I still think with the right partner, you can build wealth together, have inherent legal protections, and have someone that is legally family in a way that would need to be more intentional if you wanted all those things with a partner but didn’t want to get married. Now if you don’t want those things with your partner or more importantly you think you would be working at cross purposes on those things, it would definitely be better not to marry. I don’t include being there in sickness as well as health because there are numerous studies that men are more likely to leave sick wives than vice versa so I don’t know how much marriage over long term serious partner makes a difference there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who are content in their marriage don't post here. The forum presents a skewed view of marriage.

+1 This forum is mostly full of unhappy women who rarely take responsibility for their misery.

In their defense they were raised to believe men are the root of all evil so not surprising when they resort to that when thinking of relationships. Not very healthy.

It has been an absolute honor to be the wife of such an amazing man. I cannot imagine life without that smile, hug or just to hear his voice. I’m always sorry when I read other women on here trashing the institution of marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Needed somebody to travel to dangerous places with and take the trash out.

🥳🥳

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The women who are content in their marriage don't post here. The forum presents a skewed view of marriage.

+1 This forum is mostly full of unhappy women who rarely take responsibility for their misery.

Same for reddit, LSA, IG, FB, and Peanut.....looks like a pattern.

Anonymous wrote:The women who are content in their marriage don't post here. The forum presents a skewed view of marriage.

+1 This forum is mostly full of unhappy women who rarely take responsibility for their misery.

Although men have disappointed me, I still would appreciate a partnership that allows us to achieve more than we did separately. I haven’t given up hope.