The rules of popularity have pretty much stayed the same through generations:
Girls- be pretty, dress nice, and have a group of friends who are also pretty.
Boys- be good looking or athletic or have a lot of rizz

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if your are asking about popular like the A group or popular like having a lot of friends.

My kid is in the second group, she is smart, reasonably outgoing and socially aware, i.e. she can easily pick up on other people's cues. I think lacking that ability can really make it tough in middle school to find friends.

The A team as we jokingly call them have parents who will buy whatever trend is happening the minute it comes out, are either able to cooly excluse other kids or put them down or are willing to turn a blind eye to it. They are "popular" but may not be widely liked as much as feared.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:OP here, my theory is that loud, fun, outgoing kids are the popular ones, and the really shy introverts are not popular. Is this your sense, too?

I mean I just don't even think this is true. Because the quiet BFF of the top dog is really in the group and just as popular.

Anyone watch Never Have I Ever? Remember the hot pocket? Paxton was popular more because of looks and athleticism rather than being outgoing. Troy was the lovable druggie. I realize it's a show but it's routed in reality.

Popular.

Strong student. Very into theatre/singing. Plays a varsity sport. President of honor society, special chorus. Mixed race, but presents as white, at majority black/Hispanic school. Very nice. SUPER CONFIDENT. I think that's the main reason.

Anonymous wrote:Every popular person is extraverted. The rest varies considerably.

+1

Being able to engage in conversation is key. And, not just conversations on your preferred topic or two.

I have a respected and well-liked extroverted introvert DD. She told me the other day she thinks it would be too tiring and too much work to be popular in MS, which I found interesting. She gets invited to things but turns some opportunities down depending on the group of friends invited and may choose to read or do art instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every popular person is extraverted. The rest varies considerably.

Ugly extroverts are not popular sorry

There aren’t many ugly teenagers, at least that is unfixable. Most of the “ugly” ones have skin issues, poor hygiene, overweight etc in a way that could be fixed if they had the skills/means.

And I’ve seen objectively not good looking kids be popular. They have charisma as pp says, and usually are savvy enough to know how to dress, style their hair, etc. popularity adds its own weird appeal

I have 2 high schoolers- one is popular and one is not. My freshman's the popular one- he's athletic, very cute, and tall (14 and 6'). He has several friend groups that span across a variety of genres and can talk to anyone. He's slightly goofy and his anxiety can make him seem a bit flippant, which I think attracted kids when he was younger. Girls definitely like him and he's also friends with them.

My junior is objectively beautiful (she was adopted so can't take credit for her looks) but she's shy and reserved. She's not disliked or unpopular by any means, but she's definitely more introverted and tends to stick with her one particular friend group who is full of similar girls). She doesn't have any guys she would consider friends.

Those are the main differences I've seen between them.