Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the confiscating clothes. Don’t your kids need their clothes? And do they really care that much about earning them back?
I honestly cannot imagine anything my fifth and sixth grade boys care less about than their clothes.

They don't care whether they have clean clothes? (Mine didn't care about particular items, but they wanted to be able to get dressed)

I don’t understand the confiscating clothes. Don’t your kids need their clothes? And do they really care that much about earning them back?
I honestly cannot imagine anything my fifth and sixth grade boys care less about than their clothes.

I have raised several teens. This is what I'd do OP, in this order.

-Get a hamper/basket for the bathroom. They do make slim-line ones for tight spaces.

-If dd does not put clothes in it, and throws on floor-put them on her bed, preferable under the blanket so she has to move them to go to bed. This worked well for my floor-tossers.

-If this doesn't work, I'd tell her clearly 'Any clothes left on the floor after 9pm (or whatever time) will be confiscated and you won't get them back.' And then do it! But if she begs for them back, tell her you have to see a clean floor for a week before the clothes get returned. If she doesn't mention it-oh well, less clothes for her.

I had a few kids who would leave stuff. You do have to 'train' them to do it. Some kids do it automatically.

Anonymous wrote:For the first problem, put a hamper in the bathroom. That's what we did, no more clothes on the bathroom floor.

I put a hamper in the bathroom and teens still throw everything on the floor. Is this how other people grew up? Because I never did this. I always had chores. It does not seem normal.

This means that my twelve year old son is showering every day, unprompted by me? I would take that as a win and throw the clothes in his hamper.

I would do a combo approach here:

1) do everything you can to meet her halfway. A hamper in the bathroom and/or a robe she likes so she doesn’t have to change in there.

2) tell her that any clothes on the floor are gone for three months, then follow through with no drama.

For the first problem, put a hamper in the bathroom. That's what we did, no more clothes on the bathroom floor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so far down on the list of thing I care about. So what if there are clothes on the floor?

My kid does this-there’s a mountain of clothes in his bathroom until it’s time to do laundry. He then picks them up and does his laundry. I don’t do it for him. The only time I will pick it up for him is if the cleaners are coming. Kid has late practices and early start times so if I have to pick them up once every other week so be it. Kid is great overall so I’m not going to get on his case about a pile of clothes on the floor.

Older 2 kids were like this too and they’ve managed to become functioning adults who now contain their clothes to their room and not shared spaces.

Me too - who cares? I am glad you wrote this because I was starting to think I was a slob. I am definitely clean but seriously I have no time to debate stupid stuff that I have no chance of winning anyway.

She should do it because her mother asked her to, it's a totally reasonable request, and that should be reason enough. If you want to raise entitled, lazy, and disrespectful kids who don't think they have to follow the totally reasonable rules and boundaries set by their parents, you are a crap parent and raised your kids poorly, and they will ultimately suffer for it. We just made the decision in my office to fire a young employee next month at his annual review because -- and this was the straw that broke the camel's back -- he keeps leaving his dirty coffee mug in the shared kitchen sink in our small office. We've repeatedly sent office-wide reminders that it is not our office manager's job to do the dishes and everyone is responsible for their own dishes. It's disrespectful and we can replace him very easily. He does mostly good work but this entitled attitude shows up in his work too--he only does the things HE thinks he needs to do and if he thinks a task is stupid or beneath him or disagrees with it, he shirks it or does a half assed job after being hounded to do so. I'm sure he was raised by parents like you.

My kids are smaller and we put hampers in their bathroom. Only clothes in the hamper get washed. my 8 year old will be doing her own laundry at 9. Now she just brings the hamper down and puts away clean/folded clothes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start confiscating the clothes.

NP and maybe I’ll start doing that. Same issue. Both of mine are leaving everything in a pile in the bathroom. I told them this morning I was starting a $5 pick up fine per day but I wonder if taking the clothes would be more effective.

I give a one pic warning

After that the clothes are mine. They need to do one chore to get one piece back.

Non negotiable

It works 90% of the time now. The other 10% I get chores done

This is what we do without the warning though. I go around everyday around dinner time and take clothes on the floor. One simple chore to get a piece back. They can pick. If they don't do a chore in a week to get a piece back, it is donated to Good Will.

You must be a lot more organized than I am. I can barely get my own stuff to Goodwill when I need to, let alone keep track of how long I have had different articles of clothing and go every week.
I’m sure it’s good parenting, but this seems like so much more work than ignoring the clothes on the floor or throwing them in the kid’s room.

A lot of parents seem pretty quick to assume that you can exit the situation once you've made the request. OP says "tween" which could mean 10/11 to 13 as far as I'm concerned. That is a pretty young kid still. Even if they are old enough to take responsibility for their things, they probably still need a fair amount of coaching and supervision before it's going to be a thing you can just ask them to do and trust that it'll be done, completely and properly, without further intervention.

In the OP, it seems like the solution is to follow her and make sure she's doing what she's asked to do. I have a 14yo daughter who spends a lot of time in the bathroom getting ready. Before we leave the house, I check to make sure that her hair appliances are unplugged, there are no clothes or towels on the floor, and that it's not a horrific mess in general in case anyone comes over after school. If there are clothes on the floor, I call her back and tell her, "Put these things away" and then stand there while she does it. No yelling is necessary, just supervision.

If she was 16, I'd feel pretty annoyed about having to do that much oversight, but I'd still do it, because it's clearly necessary. The current strategy isn't working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start confiscating the clothes.

NP and maybe I’ll start doing that. Same issue. Both of mine are leaving everything in a pile in the bathroom. I told them this morning I was starting a $5 pick up fine per day but I wonder if taking the clothes would be more effective.

I give a one pic warning

After that the clothes are mine. They need to do one chore to get one piece back.

Non negotiable

It works 90% of the time now. The other 10% I get chores done

This is what we do without the warning though. I go around everyday around dinner time and take clothes on the floor. One simple chore to get a piece back. They can pick. If they don't do a chore in a week to get a piece back, it is donated to Good Will.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so far down on the list of thing I care about. So what if there are clothes on the floor?

My kid does this-there’s a mountain of clothes in his bathroom until it’s time to do laundry. He then picks them up and does his laundry. I don’t do it for him. The only time I will pick it up for him is if the cleaners are coming. Kid has late practices and early start times so if I have to pick them up once every other week so be it. Kid is great overall so I’m not going to get on his case about a pile of clothes on the floor.

Older 2 kids were like this too and they’ve managed to become functioning adults who now contain their clothes to their room and not shared spaces.

Different scenario. This isn’t in her own room, this is in a shared bathroom so it impacts other members of the family.

No it's not. Clothes are in a communal bathroom.

There are sooooo many types of laundry baskets that can go in the bathroom. If her body can fit in the bathroom then so can a laundry basket. I would hate to take my clothes off and every single time have to put it in another room.

Anonymous wrote:This is so far down on the list of thing I care about. So what if there are clothes on the floor?

My kid does this-there’s a mountain of clothes in his bathroom until it’s time to do laundry. He then picks them up and does his laundry. I don’t do it for him. The only time I will pick it up for him is if the cleaners are coming. Kid has late practices and early start times so if I have to pick them up once every other week so be it. Kid is great overall so I’m not going to get on his case about a pile of clothes on the floor.

Older 2 kids were like this too and they’ve managed to become functioning adults who now contain their clothes to their room and not shared spaces.

Me too - who cares? I am glad you wrote this because I was starting to think I was a slob. I am definitely clean but seriously I have no time to debate stupid stuff that I have no chance of winning anyway.