Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ask my spouse...what's the ultimate goal of all of this? Is it for some kind of scholarship to college so our kids can escape the mean streets of UMC suburbia? That's just not it for us. We want to foster a lifelong enjoyment of sport and make friends. Rec is the place for us for now.

Why are you asking your spouse? Ask your kid what they want to do and be the grounding force to support them but also bring them to reality (for example, if they’re not displaying the work ethic or skill to get a scholarship).

Are you kidding, people should no doubt be asking their spouses first, then ask your kid. At this age half the kids won’t even have the attention span to fully answer the question, and the other half will change their mind when you put a bowl of ice cream in front of them.

It goes without saying that you should avoid joy sticking your kid and shutting them out of any conversation about what activities they do. But I find it irksome the whole “let the child lead!” school of thought, and especially the idea of prioritizing your kid’s opinion over your spouse’s.

We went from Rec to MD Fusion for a full year - $600 / season and son really didn't enjoy playing with the team nor the coach. Went back to MSI Rec and enjoys it a lot.

Classic ruined my daughter's joy for Soccer as well - just the coach and other kids ruined it

My 10 year old plays another sport that is extremely time consuming, more so than soccer. We are considering quitting travel next year and just doing a skills clinic type thing once or twice a week depending on the time of year. She really enjoys those much more than her team practices anyway. And does not want to have to choose between missing practice for soccer games since her coach has decided to play her only in one position and she is not thrilled with it. I think her love for soccer has been diminished by the coaches she has had and just needs some time to reassess but we don't want her to get so far behind that coming back to travel won't be a possibility.

Status update on this? Im also located in VA. Have a son age 9 and debating same thing. Any recommendations or something with level in-between rec and travel for time being?

I am a rec dad coach and my daughter also does a select league.

Of course the professional coaches are better! Also, only about 1/3 of the kids on my rec team care about soccer. Another 1/3 are mostly interested in other sports and 1/3 are unathletic and want to be with your friends. The dynamic is way different when you have one practice a week for 8 weeks for an hour at a time and most kids don’t care about at all about doing drills or learning tactics and just want to run around.

All that being said the best two players on the rec team are clearly better than anyone on the professionally coached team. That’s not my doing just genetics. They are balanced out by a bunch of kids who can barely kick a ball.

I have had three boys in travel soccer, OP. I do think it is worth it to stay in travel because of the coaching. It is hard to imagine that it isn't MUCH much better than dad coaches. The consistency, access to play, year-round training all make travel much more appealing for my kids.

BUT there is a HUGE, huge range in the levels of play within travel. The lower levels of travel are closer to rec (in players' skills) than to the top levels of travel. And along with skill level, there's a range in level of commitment. The big clubs that have 4-6 teams in every age group make this very evident. During some years, my kids have trained or played pretty much every day of the week, all winter and summer. When my oldest opted to step back and moved to a lower level team, it was truly two practices a week plus game -- and purely for fun.

I think when your kids are very young too many parents still think their kid will be a Division I player and maybe make the national team. But as they get older, some get more serious, and others less. There really is an enormous range. Find one that works and don't let your kid burn out. This is supposed to be fun!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a high level young kid go from travel to rec last year. The biggest thing is level of play. If your kid won’t get frustrated by kids that have no idea what is going on, then it is okay. The coaches are so much more supportive, never yell, all around way better than the big club coaches.
We also asked to play up a year.
Soccer also isn’t kids primary sport so it makes it way easier with schedule conflicts to be in rec.

While DS prefers soccer over everything else, it’s not his only sport. Flexibility and lower stress when missing practices and games is my biggest driver in wanting to go back to rec.
regarding letting my child decide, that is not an option. He has decision-making paralysis, and he cannot make decisions like this. I have to ultimately weigh the pros and cons and make this decision for him. While my husband definitely has a say, I do all the transportation and scheduling so it’s ultimately my decision.
-OP

It's not a lifetime decision. You can always take a year off and go back if your child wants. Especially if he's young rec is more fun and better for the family.

If he's a multisport kid, no need to pay travel money if there's no intention of attempting to play in college.

There is zero ambition to play in college, but we would like him to be competitive enough to try out for the high school team. We are being told that all players on the high school team play travel. we don’t want to disadvantage him so that is my only strong argument for him staying with travel at this point.
-OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a high level young kid go from travel to rec last year. The biggest thing is level of play. If your kid won’t get frustrated by kids that have no idea what is going on, then it is okay. The coaches are so much more supportive, never yell, all around way better than the big club coaches.
We also asked to play up a year.
Soccer also isn’t kids primary sport so it makes it way easier with schedule conflicts to be in rec.

While DS prefers soccer over everything else, it’s not his only sport. Flexibility and lower stress when missing practices and games is my biggest driver in wanting to go back to rec.
regarding letting my child decide, that is not an option. He has decision-making paralysis, and he cannot make decisions like this. I have to ultimately weigh the pros and cons and make this decision for him. While my husband definitely has a say, I do all the transportation and scheduling so it’s ultimately my decision.
-OP

It's not a lifetime decision. You can always take a year off and go back if your child wants. Especially if he's young rec is more fun and better for the family.

If he's a multisport kid, no need to pay travel money if there's no intention of attempting to play in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a high level young kid go from travel to rec last year. The biggest thing is level of play. If your kid won’t get frustrated by kids that have no idea what is going on, then it is okay. The coaches are so much more supportive, never yell, all around way better than the big club coaches.
We also asked to play up a year.
Soccer also isn’t kids primary sport so it makes it way easier with schedule conflicts to be in rec.

While DS prefers soccer over everything else, it’s not his only sport. Flexibility and lower stress when missing practices and games is my biggest driver in wanting to go back to rec.
regarding letting my child decide, that is not an option. He has decision-making paralysis, and he cannot make decisions like this. I have to ultimately weigh the pros and cons and make this decision for him. While my husband definitely has a say, I do all the transportation and scheduling so it’s ultimately my decision.
-OP

It's not a lifetime decision. You can always take a year off and go back if your child wants. Especially if he's young rec is more fun and better for the family.

It sounds like you may be playing for a not great travel team (or have had a unicorn rec coach) if you really think there's no difference in coaching. My kid liked playing rec & his team was successful in that context, but he wasn't really getting any better, because the coach was just an enthusiastic dad. That (& the 25% of the team who was just bad, but got equal playing time... as they should in rec) were what my kid found frustrating about rec.

DS left travel soccer at u12. During that year we had him play MSI classic (level between rec and travel). It was a disaster. He found the level of play and commitment of teammates frustrating. It was enough for him to say he would rather not play. He did end up returning to travel but lost a lot of ground. Our older son also played MSI classic but loved it so for some kids it’s great. His team was division 1 and they always finished at the top, yet the team never won a game when going up against low level travel teams in tournaments so the overall level was lower than travel even if there were a few talented players. You just have to listen to what your child wants. But if they want to play HS, they will have little chance if they don’t play travel.

I wish there was an AAU version of soccer. Like Arlington ADP but for all ages.

Anonymous wrote:This is a really difficult position to be in. I think it depends on what your local rec options are. With clubs having 3-5 age groups in travel the level in rec is the bottom bottom of the barrel. Kids don't want to be there, they might show up for practice or a game and can't or don't want to run. If your kid is truly non competitive and just has fun doing things it may work. Being on a crappy travel team with a crappy coach (as long as not abusive) is going to be better than Rec in most cases.

This is utter bullshit. Kids play rec soccer because they enjoy it but either don't want the intense pressure of travel soccer or parents don't want to pay $3000 to be driving around all weekend long. My kid is really good, she has no interest in travel soccer because she [gasp!!] has other interests and activities on weeknights and weekends.

Anonymous wrote:

Rec coaches were parents who …encourage your kid to be a happy member of the team. Travel coaches…care very little about your happiness but do care a lot about your development.

Kinda sucks that it has to be either-or. But I guess for a lot of travel coaches, “development” or winning games equals happiness.

Right. And many kids are honestly happy because they are developing better skills. So I think you can have it both if your priorities align with your coaches mentality.

Rec coaches were parents who …encourage your kid to be a happy member of the team. Travel coaches…care very little about your happiness but do care a lot about your development.

Kinda sucks that it has to be either-or. But I guess for a lot of travel coaches, “development” or winning games equals happiness.