Anonymous wrote:I have two girls at SR, we are not members of any country club and they have been invited to birthday parties or swim dates at Congressional, Chevy Chase, Kenwood, Bethesda, Army Navy, etc. I don’t know if you would call this a country club scene but there are lots of classmates who are members, in our experience they are still pretty welcoming of us poors who are not members. We’ll see if this continues as they get older.

Doubt you’re “poor.” If your children are regularly invited to various country clubs, it’s because other families view your family as similarly situated and don’t think you’ll feel “poor” as their guest for a day.

Anonymous wrote:We’re at SR and are members of a cc, but do not think there’s a cc vibe, at all. Because we see other SR families at multi-cc events, I’m guessing there’s a fair amount of SR families who belong to a cc, but I’ve never heard or participated in any cc talk with other parents beyond meet-up related logistics.

I suspect any angst about cc membership is felt solely by those who desire a cc membership (for whatever reason) but can’t have one (for whatever reason). No one else cares how other families spend their money.

aka blaming the victim.

We’re at SR and are members of a cc, but do not think there’s a cc vibe, at all. Because we see other SR families at multi-cc events, I’m guessing there’s a fair amount of SR families who belong to a cc, but I’ve never heard or participated in any cc talk with other parents beyond meet-up related logistics.

I suspect any angst about cc membership is felt solely by those who desire a cc membership (for whatever reason) but can’t have one (for whatever reason). No one else cares how other families spend their money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any schools not have this? We are hoping to avoid those dynamics but are interested in all girls.

Thanks

This is definitely a thing at Holton and even though it isn’t spoken about, you feel it at school gatherings when you realize that some of the families have been socializing and excluding the kids. It’s really terrible tbh and it gives off a mean girl vibe among the moms.

But of course if you are white and wealthy you might not notice it bc you can fit in more easily.

Also the school is heavily recruiting from the country club set so we’ve the population skewing more CC in the past few years. It’s clear that’s who the admissions team wants

What grade(s)? Our DD is in MS and we have not experienced this. She hasn't been included in all of the social activities, but we don't expect her to be because she's busy with sports and other non-school social circles.

We are a LS Holton family and definitely have not felt this. Lots of different types of families at the school.

All 3 new current parent members to the Governing Board at St. Albans belong to Chevy Country Club, in addition to several that are already on the board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any schools not have this? We are hoping to avoid those dynamics but are interested in all girls.

Thanks

This is definitely a thing at Holton and even though it isn’t spoken about, you feel it at school gatherings when you realize that some of the families have been socializing and excluding the kids. It’s really terrible tbh and it gives off a mean girl vibe among the moms.

But of course if you are white and wealthy you might not notice it bc you can fit in more easily.

Also the school is heavily recruiting from the country club set so we’ve the population skewing more CC in the past few years. It’s clear that’s who the admissions team wants

What grade(s)? Our DD is in MS and we have not experienced this. She hasn't been included in all of the social activities, but we don't expect her to be because she's busy with sports and other non-school social circles.

I'm the PP. We're not white nor wealthy, but we feel we fit in very well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any schools not have this? We are hoping to avoid those dynamics but are interested in all girls.

Thanks

This is definitely a thing at Holton and even though it isn’t spoken about, you feel it at school gatherings when you realize that some of the families have been socializing and excluding the kids. It’s really terrible tbh and it gives off a mean girl vibe among the moms.

But of course if you are white and wealthy you might not notice it bc you can fit in more easily.

Also the school is heavily recruiting from the country club set so we’ve the population skewing more CC in the past few years. It’s clear that’s who the admissions team wants

What grade(s)? Our DD is in MS and we have not experienced this. She hasn't been included in all of the social activities, but we don't expect her to be because she's busy with sports and other non-school social circles.

Anonymous wrote:Do any schools not have this? We are hoping to avoid those dynamics but are interested in all girls.

Thanks

This is definitely a thing at Holton and even though it isn’t spoken about, you feel it at school gatherings when you realize that some of the families have been socializing and excluding the kids. It’s really terrible tbh and it gives off a mean girl vibe among the moms.

But of course if you are white and wealthy you might not notice it bc you can fit in more easily.

Also the school is heavily recruiting from the country club set so we’ve the population skewing more CC in the past few years. It’s clear that’s who the admissions team wants

I agree with other posters, it depends on the particular class and the school. I do not see this as a problem during HS, and even less so if the private starts at 9th or has a large contingency new to the 9th grade class. One earlier poster was spot on, your kid just needs to find their tribe.

I have two kids in HS, two different privates, both started in 9th. One kid has been invited to a get together once at a school friend's cc. My other kid has had no invites. I know that one of the two schools has at least one event hosted by parents at their cc. I was surprised about this (vs. the event being hosted at the school).

We belong to a cc. Husband's parents were members and he joined when young and single. I never go. My two kids do not use the cc either, they have sports and other activities outside the cc.

Same, it’s really not an issue. We don’t have time to belong to a country club. I hate driving out to them for parties but if they are in Bethesda/Chevy Chase it’s fine.

Anonymous wrote:We just graduated from a preschool where about a third of parents are chevy members. Unfortunately it shapes everything at this age and is at the point where people hide their affiliations because the rep is that bad.

It definitely informed where we went next!

What preschool is 1/3 Chevy members???

Anonymous wrote:We just graduated from a preschool where about a third of parents are chevy members. Unfortunately it shapes everything at this age and is at the point where people hide their affiliations because the rep is that bad.

It definitely informed where we went next!

DP. Chevy members are at the center of so many complaints across several schools yet a few schools still consistently appoint the Chevy crowd to their governing board. It is shocking. On a positive note they saved us a lot of money by doing so this year as we are now not donating what we had planned originally.

Anonymous wrote:I think the CC membership is more of an issue when kids are younger because parents are organizing play dates and parties at the club. By high school kids aren’t hanging out at the club in the same way as their social circle expands BUT there are still dances and events at the club that those girls attend (and they aren’t typically bring a non club friend thing unless it’s a date). Also, I think we’ve “felt” it more on the parent end because SO many of the parents know each other and socialize at the club. These families are very insular and while socialization with other adults in HS is less of a thing, we absolutely felt like outsiders. DD ended up at a great school, got a great education and enjoyed her time in HS, but there definitely was a strong CC scene. —parent of SR graduate

Agreed. it's not an issue in high school. The club parents stick together but there are multiple factors going on there---they tend to be lifers (so they've known each other for a decade+ from school) and they see each other in the club setting whereas as a non-club member parent I barely see them. We came to a "clubby" school new in 9th grade and my kid is now a senior. the parents are all friendly/warm with us and we have plenty to chat with at school events. Are we best friends outside of school? No. But I can't imagine joining ANY school in 9th grade and expecting to make best parent-friends. My kid has made plenty of friends. He/she is friends with the clubby crowd but there is also an entire 75% of the grade that has nothing to do with this crowd so there are many friend options.

We just graduated from a preschool where about a third of parents are chevy members. Unfortunately it shapes everything at this age and is at the point where people hide their affiliations because the rep is that bad.

It definitely informed where we went next!

It is very grade and parent driven, and it is true what one of the previous posters said it is felt more at the elementary level vs in HS.

And those parents did playdates and socialized only with other parents belonging to their CCC. So it was a tough thing if your child got along well with their kids.