Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helicopter parents were very rare for previous generations. So were participation trophies.

Kids went off to college with a cheery wave from the driveway, not an angst filled send-off and dorm decoration.

I went to college in 1987 and my parents 100% dropped me off, moved me into my room after helping me unpack and make my bed, etc. There were parents everywhere at move in.

Anonymous wrote:DD first year at HYPSM and I asked her the other day if she likes the school. Her response was I don’t dislike it. I asked her how friendships are forming and her response was she hasn’t found anyone to be super close but has folks to do homework with, goto parties on the weekend with but again no one she see as a close friendship to form. I asked about who she eats lunch with and said that time is used to catch up on homework so she said most folks don’t really eat with some but if she has time and schedules align she might occasionally eat lunch with someone. She eats dinner with her teammates after practice. I asked her how classes were going and her response was she picked an “academically rigorous school that is actually academically rigorous.” She says the mentality is work hard play hard at her school. I say this all to say is she seems to go out, engage others but still hasn’t found her people nor does she dislike or like the school just yet. I hope it all clicks soon but it will clearly take someone time. More than what others might tend to believe from their own experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

I see this in my kid's friends at Michigan, Indiana, Wisconsin and Colorado-Boulder. Perhaps its a Div 1, football team and fall that brings out the rah-rah fun?

Anonymous wrote:I love that everyone answering this thread is literally part of the problem. We, as parents, did this. We are not willing to change it either. God forbid there is an illusion that another kid or group of kids will get a leg up on your kid. Criticize the methods of other parents and the related behaviors without taking any accountability. Declare a handful of schools "worthy" and put down other kids and families who can't or don't want the "top" schools.

Take a look in the mirror, everyone! You're supporting this nonsense, voting for people who support this nonsense, pay obscene amounts of money for it all too. What are you willing to do to stop it? Are you willing to tell your middle school kid that it's ridiculous to travel across the country to play sports? Are you willing to tell your kid that taking 12 APs is too much and you'd like them to get a job, do chores at home, and hang out with siblings instead? Are you willing to forego paid college essay consultants for a less eloquent essay?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

Anonymous wrote:DD first year at HYPSM and I asked her the other day if she likes the school. Her response was I don’t dislike it. I asked her how friendships are forming and her response was she hasn’t found anyone to be super close but has folks to do homework with, goto parties on the weekend with but again no one she see as a close friendship to form. I asked about who she eats lunch with and said that time is used to catch up on homework so she said most folks don’t really eat with some but if she has time and schedules align she might occasionally eat lunch with someone. She eats dinner with her teammates after practice. I asked her how classes were going and her response was she picked an “academically rigorous school that is actually academically rigorous.” She says the mentality is work hard play hard at her school. I say this all to say is she seems to go out, engage others but still hasn’t found her people nor does she dislike or like the school just yet. I hope it all clicks soon but it will clearly take someone time. More than what others might tend to believe from their own experiences.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.

This post is getting ragged on, but there's a lot of truth to it. My kid along with many of the cool kids from his high school gravitated to the SEC, eschewing higher-ranked "striver" schools. The more academic ones shot for Vandy, the next tier ended up at Florida and Georgia, and the run-of-the-mill, all-American, above-average types are happy at UTK, UofSC, Bama, and Auburn. I don't know of a single one who is crying in their dorm room, depressed because they miss home and aren't making friends. These kids all have magnetic personalities and are crushing it socially. I'm not sure if SEC schools bring out the best in their students' social skills or if they simply self-select for the cream of the crop in coolness. But whatever it is, the happiness gap among college kids in the South and the rest of the country is real.

Anonymous wrote:I have a Freshmen at an Ivy who hit the ground running. Met a ton of friends during orientation. Gets along great with his roommate. Plays a club sport and goes to the gym and other campus events, hangs out in other dorms, etc.

He told me he’s basically never in his room. I was happy to hear.

Anonymous wrote:Kids at SEC schools like Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee aren't having the problems described in this thread. They're having fun, loving life, tailgating and watching great football. And the academics are much better than they get credit for. Something to think about as your kids, perhaps as your behest, stress themselves out in high school and make themselves miserable to get into an "elite" college where they'll just be even more stressed out and miserable.