Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. As I stated my kids grades are overall good. (A in math including tests, btw) but he is struggling on tests. Some bc of his own doing, some maybe not. The final C/D is not my worry. It’s A vs B as well as helping him over this hump.

I appreciate all of the normal and helpful responses!

This is the situation you asked us to respond to:

"tests ... generally count for 30-60% of the overall grade, depending on the teacher. His grades are almost always A's for homework, classwork etc and then he has a test and loses the A. Sometimes these tests are B's or C's, almost never A's and often the grades are F's."

Now you say his grades are good and you just want to hep him get from a B to an A. If the "often F" is 60% of the grade, the kid does not have a B.

Which is it?

OMG, this is why I don't normally post and why I won't again. Not sure why things don't add up. Each class does grading and percentages differently and there aren't Fs on every test. I am was just trying to crowd source if "rules" around studying were effective for some or if it seems better to have a talk and try and let my kid navigate. No one will be going to community college.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. As I stated my kids grades are overall good. (A in math including tests, btw) but he is struggling on tests. Some bc of his own doing, some maybe not. The final C/D is not my worry. It’s A vs B as well as helping him over this hump.

I appreciate all of the normal and helpful responses!

This is the situation you asked us to respond to:

"tests ... generally count for 30-60% of the overall grade, depending on the teacher. His grades are almost always A's for homework, classwork etc and then he has a test and loses the A. Sometimes these tests are B's or C's, almost never A's and often the grades are F's."

Now you say his grades are good and you just want to hep him get from a B to an A. If the "often F" is 60% of the grade, the kid does not have a B.

Which is it?

How does a kid with Bs, Cs, and Fs on tests end up with mostly As and Bs? Your story isn’t adding up.

request that they follow the public school retake policy, if not send a complaint to the local government for compliance. Also request a refund for the year and to go back to public school if they don't comply in time. sue the school.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. As I stated my kids grades are overall good. (A in math including tests, btw) but he is struggling on tests. Some bc of his own doing, some maybe not. The final C/D is not my worry. It’s A vs B as well as helping him over this hump.

I appreciate all of the normal and helpful responses!

If it is just an issue of As vs Bs, then I would step back and let him manage it with your help only as wanted. Offer to help him study, offer to hire him tutors, offer to buy extra study materials. But then allow him to develop his own study skills and motivation to bump up the Bs to As.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. As I stated my kids grades are overall good. (A in math including tests, btw) but he is struggling on tests. Some bc of his own doing, some maybe not. The final C/D is not my worry. It’s A vs B as well as helping him over this hump.

I appreciate all of the normal and helpful responses!

Are you calling the answers you wanted to hear the "normal and helpful" ones?

OP, it is clear as sunny day for those of us who have been there/done that, that your kid has red flags for inattentive ADHD. No one likes to hear this, but you owe it to your kid to have him properly tested.

You can take away all screens, make him study at a desk in front of you all day long, be the one to force the planner upkeep (really, does it count as success if the kid can't do that himself?). All of that work and forcing you accomplish won't matter if his eyes move across the page while his brain is floating off in outer space and he is completely unaware of it. Or if he believes he has paid attention in class but his notes are half or a quarter as long as the other students (if he even took any) because he doesn't even know that he missed half of what was going on. Show his notes to his teachers. See what they say.

When he hyper-focuses, he does well, so you convince yourself there is no problem. But he cannot maintain that, even though he is capable and wants to do well, so you know in your gut there is a problem.

This is OP. As I stated my kids grades are overall good. (A in math including tests, btw) but he is struggling on tests. Some bc of his own doing, some maybe not. The final C/D is not my worry. It’s A vs B as well as helping him over this hump.

I appreciate all of the normal and helpful responses!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The PP with the kid with text anxiety...how did you handle that? Is there is an underlying issue with my son this is what I suspect. It is then compounded by lack of preparation. He is very resistant to talking with someone...I have already suggested that.

Oh and grades are still OK bc most tests are C's (but these were tests he SHOULD have had A's on. Not hard and not a lot to study) which brings A's down and the last test was a pretty low F. But he had a 98 in that class prior so there was some wiggle room.

It's interesting, public schools have moved to the tests being most of the grade and As on homework not being able to save grades. Who knew private schools were this cushy. Your kid should not be able to get As and Bs in class if getting Cs to Fs on tests.

It isn't. She's in denial. That "98" was from the first weeks of class, non-assignment throat clearing work. The kid has a world of C tests coming at him and he will likely have a D before she knows it.

Anonymous wrote:He’s obviously not grasping the material if he’s getting Bs, C’s and Fs on tests. You can get him a tutor a couple times a week in multiple subjects to get his grades up. Or accept he is an average student and might be headed to community college. You are the parent - you decide what he needs and follow through.

This. Our middle child had a similar experience. We hired tutors and got peer assistance through NHS for studying. Child just wasn’t understanding the material at the speed it was being taught. We moved Child down one level (Honors to Merit) in math and science and it’s made a world of difference. Now they can explain the math to tutor (who we kept as a backstop) and they’re actually learning versus racing to just try to keep up. Sure, it means no T25 college. But T25
Wasn’t going to happen anyway with C’s/D’s. Also, probably not the right place for this kid in the long run.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP, so his grades overall are fine. A's and B's but they would almost all be A's with proper studying for the tests. He will not get into the colleges he wants with the B's though. I do think he is not focusing in class and yes I suppose it could be some level of ADHD but I really don't think it is. I think is he just not always trying and yes cutting corners, using google instead of reading the material, etc.

I like the idea of coming up with a plan together with set times, etc and going from there. Cutting down on sports next and then if its still not working maybe look into other things.

I just worry because he is much more motivated when its self driven, otherwise he feels like he is working for me and not for himself and thats self defeating.

How is he getting Fs on tests and then still getting As and Bs? I am confused.

Because there is a whole lot of grade inflation (grade fluffing -- from homework completion grades and easy quizzes) going on in this private school. OP, your son is trying hard, but he is struggling to understand and remember the material. You should employ regular tutors to help him practice and study appropriately. If neither he nor you want to go this route, then there will still be hundreds (actually, thousands... but I'm guessing he will not want to attend many of these) of 4-year college options available to him.

Anonymous wrote:I’d move him to public. Having such a hard line on test retakes seems silly. Retakes often help a kid learn the material and isnt that the point? Some kids are poor test takers for whatever reason, they rush through and blank out. I was always the opposite - barely did my homework bc I aced the test and some of that was I could BS my way through some of it or if multiple choice it was easy to guess the answer.

Retakes are not the answer. Attitudes like this are why students show up to college and the real world completely unprepared.

Anonymous wrote:He’s lazy, unmotivated, and probably not very smart.

So, tell me, why does he deserve to go to a top college? Because you paid for private school?

Exactly this.
Plus in her original post, the OP that the math teacher is not very good. Students who get Fs don't get to say that the teacher is not good!

Talk to the teachers for support, get tutors and work with him. Going to a public may not help. Ours got rid of retests and only a few things can be redone. Little support and its sink or swim.

I’d move him to public. Having such a hard line on test retakes seems silly. Retakes often help a kid learn the material and isnt that the point? Some kids are poor test takers for whatever reason, they rush through and blank out. I was always the opposite - barely did my homework bc I aced the test and some of that was I could BS my way through some of it or if multiple choice it was easy to guess the answer.