Anonymous wrote:No, but it will contribute to her life success. How many times will she be stuck on a crappy project, overseen by a bad boss……good for her sticking it out.

lol no you leave if that is the case. You people are crazy.

There are people who quit their jobs when they have to do the crap portion of a project. The people that stick it out get the promotions just for being a team player.

OP seemed to be saying that since their kid wasn't getting playing time they should quit. That isn't how teams work. Figure that out now before going to college and/or getting a job

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but it will contribute to her life success. How many times will she be stuck on a crappy project, overseen by a bad boss……good for her sticking it out.

I am a former college athlete, coach's kid myself, and I HIGHLY disagree.

There is the typical 'hard' coach, yes--stick it out. There is the you aren't everyone's cup of tea. There is 'you need to prove yourself'. There is you need to earn your playing time, etc.

Then, there are the psychologically, mind-game dangerous coaches.

You need to know the difference AND you need to teach your kids the tools to stand up to this.

We have had a few scandals at our private where coaches were eventually fired after years. The sport my kids play has such a highly dysfunctional program with really bad psycho coaches that players and parents for years privately complain about amongst one another. It truly is a nepotistic ugly thing.

Teaching your kid WHEN to walk away is just an important lesson as sticking out when things are just 'hard' or you don't see eye-to-eye. THIS builds a kid that learns to advocate for themselves and not be bullied. AND they help other kids who are too afraid to stand up for the mistreatment themselves. Leaders.

+100

You want the kid with balls. Not the one that will continue to bend over when things are more and more and more dysfunctional. The one other kids look to for guidance.

Future whistleblowers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Just don’t report the sport as an EC or put as filler at the end with one less year of participation. How will a college know anything about quitting?

My kids' private schools (2 different high schools) put sports on the transcript.

The rest of us don't seem to have that problem

Ours does as well, and follows rhe teacher/coach model so definitely would likely affect kid’s reputation and references of kid quite mid season. I don’t think op’s son will be able to keep this season on his activity list regardless if he quits. Is he really going to add another extracurricular immediately

Surprised this hasn’t come up yet but he likely took a place from another kid to get on the team in the first place.

If the team and coach is toxic, who cares. Three juniors quit basketball midseason last year at our school and nobody cared because the dynamics were terrible.

5 Seniors at my kid's D1 Ivy university walked off the team and played for the Club team their final year. Highly dysfunctional coach.

Anonymous wrote:+1

He is there for practice and other team events. Actual playing time is a small percentage of team activity. Employers look for team players, not quitters.

Training them to be good little employees.

Anonymous wrote:No, but it will contribute to her life success. How many times will she be stuck on a crappy project, overseen by a bad boss……good for her sticking it out.

I am a former college athlete, coach's kid myself, and I HIGHLY disagree.

There is the typical 'hard' coach, yes--stick it out. There is the you aren't everyone's cup of tea. There is 'you need to prove yourself'. There is you need to earn your playing time, etc.

Then, there are the psychologically, mind-game dangerous coaches.

You need to know the difference AND you need to teach your kids the tools to stand up to this.

We have had a few scandals at our private where coaches were eventually fired after years. The sport my kids play has such a highly dysfunctional program with really bad psycho coaches that players and parents for years privately complain about amongst one another. It truly is a nepotistic ugly thing.

Teaching your kid WHEN to walk away is just an important lesson as sticking out when things are just 'hard' or you don't see eye-to-eye. THIS builds a kid that learns to advocate for themselves and not be bullied. AND they help other kids who are too afraid to stand up for the mistreatment themselves. Leaders.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t report the sport as an EC or put as filler at the end with one less year of participation. How will a college know anything about quitting?

My kids' private schools (2 different high schools) put sports on the transcript.

The rest of us don't seem to have that problem

Ours does as well, and follows rhe teacher/coach model so definitely would likely affect kid’s reputation and references of kid quite mid season. I don’t think op’s son will be able to keep this season on his activity list regardless if he quits. Is he really going to add another extracurricular immediately

Surprised this hasn’t come up yet but he likely took a place from another kid to get on the team in the first place.

If the team and coach is toxic, who cares. Three juniors quit basketball midseason last year at our school and nobody cared because the dynamics were terrible.

Because the school values a good character and integrity, sorry yours does not.

Sorry your kids feel like they have to be bullied and miserable for the sake of 'good character'.

Anonymous wrote:My DD is at a top 20 college this year as a freshman and faced this last year - horrible bully coach, randomly wasn't giving her playing time after starting her on V the last two years, just wasn't feeling it and would have rather been prioritizing her 6 AP classes and college applications and clubs. She stuck it out to say she was a four year athlete but she says now it was such a time suck and probably did nothing for her college admission success. At the end of the day high school athletes are at the mercy of high school coaches who are not always the greatest people.

Even winning HS state championship did absolutely nothing for the kids are our HS. Colleges put little weight if you aren't recruited. It's not a national level thing and sooooooo many kids play HS sports. It's just a 'standard' type thing. Doesn't get a high rating.

No, but it will contribute to her life success. How many times will she be stuck on a crappy project, overseen by a bad boss……good for her sticking it out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the fact that kids get no playing time, and that parents and coaches bully us into thinking that they have to just sit there and take it with no complaints. I had my daughter quit a club sport that we had paid for for this reason. The coach was not kind to her and spread a nasty lie about why she quit. I say this because I think this kind of sports culture is toxic, and it teaches kids to just take abuse from coaches, bosses and other authority figures. It’s not what I want my kid to take away. I’d rather they prioritize academics, work, leadership, etc. let your kid quit.

This this this. My kid was a starter and I still thought it was too much of a time suck and the coaches treated everyone other than the stars like crap. You also weren’t allowed to read a book even if you were injured and had to sit and watch the kids practice. If my kid wasn’t getting any play time, I’d have him fake an injury and quit.

My younger son 'quiet quitted' last Fall. By October, he started putting the time with the Club team instead and I think missed the last two games of the season, as well as practices. HUGE HS roster.

We prioritize academics. My kids are both straight A honors/AP students and the Club practice schedule (even at the highest level) is much more in sync with school work. It's set and predictable. And the coaching and level of play so much better.

My older son didn't even put the Fresh&Soph year HS sport participation for that sport in the common app activities list last year. He did have 4-years of club sport and so many other notable things to fill up the space.

He had so much more time for academics junior year by not doing the Fall HS sport and just doing it as club sport and other Club activities.

He was accepted into 3 T10 schools and a bunch of T20s so, no, it didn't have any effect on him. IN FACT, if he had stayed with it would have caused a lot more stress.

Oh---and older kid walked on varsity team at a D1 school so it also had zero impact on the sport too.

They get over the 'glory' of HS pretty quick. By end of November nobody even cares and the school year goes on as usual.

My DD is at a top 20 college this year as a freshman and faced this last year - horrible bully coach, randomly wasn't giving her playing time after starting her on V the last two years, just wasn't feeling it and would have rather been prioritizing her 6 AP classes and college applications and clubs. She stuck it out to say she was a four year athlete but she says now it was such a time suck and probably did nothing for her college admission success. At the end of the day high school athletes are at the mercy of high school coaches who are not always the greatest people.

Anonymous wrote:Can they skip practice a bunch? I’m fine with quitting. It IS a huge waste of time and school comes first. I say this as a parent of a kid who’s all about the sports and attempting the recruiting process now. If it wasn’t enjoyable and interfering with real priorities like sleep and homework, why bother?

+!. It's a lot easier to get fired than to quit.

+1

He is there for practice and other team events. Actual playing time is a small percentage of team activity. Employers look for team players, not quitters.

It is a TEAM sport. Quitting mid-season instead of supporting the team speaks to character. Remember,
the coaches selected your kid over others because they believed they had the ability and the character to be there the whole season.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t report the sport as an EC or put as filler at the end with one less year of participation. How will a college know anything about quitting?

My kids' private schools (2 different high schools) put sports on the transcript.

The rest of us don't seem to have that problem

Ours does as well, and follows rhe teacher/coach model so definitely would likely affect kid’s reputation and references of kid quite mid season. I don’t think op’s son will be able to keep this season on his activity list regardless if he quits. Is he really going to add another extracurricular immediately

Surprised this hasn’t come up yet but he likely took a place from another kid to get on the team in the first place.

If the team and coach is toxic, who cares. Three juniors quit basketball midseason last year at our school and nobody cared because the dynamics were terrible.

Because the school values a good character and integrity, sorry yours does not.