Anonymous wrote:Thank you for posting, OP. These are pretty big signs, I have to say.

I am trying to get my father a cognitive test. His signs are a lot more subtle. There are occasional bursts of temper which he didn't use to have. He talks less than he did before. He drives less. He has anxiety at leaving the house, and traveling outside his city is difficult for him. But he does his taxes, reasons well in all our discussions, does all the grocery shopping and cooking (although it takes him more time).

I think there's something there, and mostly I think that because BOTH his parents had different forms of dementia. I want to get ahead of whatever he is developing.

Anonymous wrote:You didn't miss the signs, you were in denial.
Knowledge isn't what's missing here, a commitment to act is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. Also, my MIL’s eyes. It’s sad, but even in photos there’s just no glimmer or liveliness - more of a vacant look in her eyes. She looks very tired (and I’m certain she’s not sleeping well).

My FIL is hung up on next steps and apparently wracked with indecision. He was told that further testing is needed (a spinal tap!) to make a more complete diagnosis and to get into studies (!) and possibly get the right meds prescribed. So, his new excuse is he doesn’t want MIL to be subjected to such procedures and is unsure if a specific diagnosis is going to help. It’s been almost a year since MIL was diagnosed with significant cognitive decline. Seems like it’s a wait and see/ignore/pretend everything’s fine.

I’m worried about my FIL and what the caretaking will do to his health.

I’m aware of the flawed study about amyloid plaques. So we’re all going in circles and that part is frustrating.

FWIW the spinal tap is not what we envision from the 70s. It's minimally invasive these days. My dad had one recently.

Also FWIW further testing doesn't change anything regarding treatment, but it can change others' perceptions and expectations. After my dad was diagnosed with FTD, it put a lot of his behaviors into context. It also set our expectations for what he could and couldn't do, and it justified some things like taking away the car keys, which we had been debating for some time. It may also help you qualify for various forms of support and aid from the state or federal level.

Also, he was enrolled in a study at a nearby university, so I like to think that even in his decline is is contributing to the health and treatment of future patients. This would not have been possible without the more detailed diagnosis of FTD and not just "dementia."

Anonymous wrote:For my dad it was number 2. Called me out of the blue and said a lot of mean things. Only in retrospect did the behavior make any sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL also has dementia and it’s so hard.

Sending you a hug.

Another sign we missed was that my MIL would use an incorrect word. Like instead of saying “this might be of interest” she said “this might be an inference”…initially we laughed about it bc we thought it was just a random every once in awhile thing. But it became more and more common until it was apparent something was quite off.

People do that at all ages, and it increases with geriatric age. You have to decide when it is so common that you need to carefully assess whether overall cognitive decline is a safety concern.

Anonymous wrote:Started forgetting how to use technology or, really early on, became unable to understand basic technology concepts like texting. With my mom the computer got confusing first, then the television then finally the cell phone. It’s truly is like watching them age in reverse.