Anonymous wrote:If it isn't clothes, what generally starts the bullying?

I got bullied for:
-having frizzy, messy hair (my mother didn't believe in conditioner or hair products and insisted I brush out my frizzy hair)
-having a very fat mom
-not being allowed to do basic things (had a very strict household)
-having a babyish lunch box
-wearing my older brother's handmedowns that were clearly "boy clothes" (I'm female)
-being socially awkward (I was never allowed to socialize so didn't really learn how until my 30's)

I got made fun of for wearing the same clothes exactly once, in 9th grade, by Barbara Rabinavicci. "Didn't you wear that two Wednesdays ago?" in the lunchroom, loudly, in front of everyone. That was when I started writing down what I wore each day. Readers, I did not have two weeks worth of different clothing.

Anonymous wrote:If it isn't clothes, what generally starts the bullying?

It starts with the adults creating the atmosphere that allows bullying. Clothes, looks, living circumstances are secondary.

It depends on the kids. We switched schools two years ago (DDs were in 3rd and 4th at that school, starting 5th and 6th now). At the old school, there was one girl who was just horrible to the others. At the new school, if this girl exists, we haven’t met her yet in either girl’s grade.

Anonymous wrote:My DD once got made fun of for wearing the same thing every day.

She goes to a private school with one uniform option for girls. I mentioned it at parent-teacher conferences and the teacher went silent for what felt like a minute. “But they wear uniforms?!” she finally said.

I think that certain kids will pick on clothing no matter what the circumstances!

Omg.

Anyway, third for my sons, fifth for my daughter.

Anonymous wrote:If it isn't clothes, what generally starts the bullying?

PP whose kid got picked on for ridiculous stuff. Her 5th grade classmates decided they didn't like her choice in TV (we don't watch much - she keeps busy with lots of other stuff). I remember she came home annoyed she got made fun of for not watching Sponge Bob.

That said, DD has a prickly personality. I'm sure she bothers other kids, which is something we work on. For her to get made fun of doesn't surprise me, even though it's hard. We talked about the fact that if she controlled her negative reactions to just about everything more often, the teasing would probably happen less. A couple years later it's gotten better. It is also true that she learned to stay away from the kids who tease kids on ridiculous grounds.

We are a doctor-lawyer couple and our three kids still get clothes primarily from Target and Old Navy. Sneaker budget is $50 starting the school year. When I take them back to school shopping, we usually pick out a few outfits together, and then I will give them $20 each to upgrade school supplies or clothes, but they always just spend it on school supplies (fancy pens, mechanical pencils, locker decor, etc). Oldest is going into 7th.

One of them mentioned some teasing (not toward them, but generally) about velcro shoes in 3rd or 4th grade.

My oldest is in 4th and it never comes up. I remember it being a big thing in middle school but not earlier.

Anonymous wrote:I was bullied for my clothes in 3rd grade. They were not cheap, just "kid" clothes instead of more mature clothes

This happened to my son in kindergarten when he wore a Mickey Mouse shirt. He refused to wear anything Disney after that.

For the most part I let my kids choose what they are comfortable wearing. They will speak up if they want/need something. It all depends on the kid and the peer group. Some are more clothes conscious than others.

Sorry for the double post🥴

3rd grade is usually when the bullying starts. Usually because the clothes are babyish according to the bully. It’s hurtful and they shouldn’t have to tolerate the ridicule.

My younger sister was a bully. I am 7 years older than her. In elementary school a father with his two daughters came to our house to ask my mother to please get her daughter to stop making fun of their clothes. They were immigrants and he struggled with his English but it must have been so bad that he felt the need to go directly to the problem. I’m not sure what happened because I only hear the story now as an adult. My mother was so upset, she still thinks of it so many years later. My sister can still have mean outbursts.

Anonymous wrote:I was bullied for my clothes in 3rd grade. They were not cheap, just "kid" clothes instead of more mature clothes

3rd grade is usually when the bullying starts. Usually because the clothes are babyish according to the bully. It’s hurtful and they shouldn’t have to tolerate the ridicule.

My younger sister was a bully. I am 7 years older than her. In elementary school a father with his two daughters came to our house to ask my mother to please get her daughter to stop making fun of their clothes. They were immigrants and he struggled with his English but it must have been so bad that he felt the need to go directly to the problem. I’m not sure what happened because I only hear the story now as an adult. My mother was so upset, she still thinks of it so many years later. My sister can still have mean outbursts.

If it isn't clothes, what generally starts the bullying?

My DD once got made fun of for wearing the same thing every day.

She goes to a private school with one uniform option for girls. I mentioned it at parent-teacher conferences and the teacher went silent for what felt like a minute. “But they wear uniforms?!” she finally said.

I think that certain kids will pick on clothing no matter what the circumstances!