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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good news is that there are other cliques at Ivies and SLACs besides athletes and rich kids! There are also different flavors of minority kid cliques, the LGBTQ clique, the theater kid clique, the Woke Kid clique.

Yes if you are a middle class white suburban straight kid you might have trouble fitting in… not least because you are the rarest type of kid to get accepted. How did you even get in here, bro?

Middle class white suburban kids are one of the most abundant at the top schools after wealthy people who don't need financial aid.

Those are mostly athletes. I meant middle class white suburban straight kids who are not athletes.

these are still everywhere? Plus it’s not like athletes will just hiss at your child

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gay/trans types all hang together too. does that make them bad people?

Survival instinct, of course.

Are you saying it's the same reason the wealthy hang together?

Survival, as if the mean heterosexual kids are going to beat them up and lynch them?

They are more vulnerable. Why the hostile answer? Is this new to you?

https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-lgbt-violence-press-release/

Anonymous wrote:This isnt a race thing…

Like bc all things in life, people group off in “likes “ (likes congregate together). My private high school kid, knows he’s had a privileged education. And we are high net worth; close to 9 figures, we fly privately etc , he’s had some unusual experiences as an 18yo.

As an incoming freshman at an Ivy, I’m sure he’ll socialize with a wide mix of people….and will be most comfortable with whoever he can share all parts of his background, without discomfort.

Note, he’s not white.

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He will find that yes, race will be a factor, even with all of your money. The rich white kids will not necessarily see him as a peer that your son can say in his head to "let me be gracious and expand my social circle beyond you fellow richies!" That is not going to happen.

This isnt a race thing…

Like bc all things in life, people group off in “likes “ (likes congregate together). My private high school kid, knows he’s had a privileged education. And we are high net worth; close to 9 figures, we fly privately etc , he’s had some unusual experiences as an 18yo.

As an incoming freshman at an Ivy, I’m sure he’ll socialize with a wide mix of people….and will be most comfortable with whoever he can share all parts of his background, without discomfort.

Note, he’s not white.

And.... so???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good news is that there are other cliques at Ivies and SLACs besides athletes and rich kids! There are also different flavors of minority kid cliques, the LGBTQ clique, the theater kid clique, the Woke Kid clique.

Yes if you are a middle class white suburban straight kid you might have trouble fitting in… not least because you are the rarest type of kid to get accepted. How did you even get in here, bro?

Middle class white suburban kids are one of the most abundant at the top schools after wealthy people who don't need financial aid.

Those are mostly athletes. I meant middle class white suburban straight kids who are not athletes.

A lot of the ivies have a warped u shaped income distribution, where MC is at the bottom of the U, and the wealthy part of the U much higher than the lower income part of the U.

Basically, those schools are mostly made up of full pay rich.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS just saw some friends from HS who go to Princeton, Duke and Dartmouth. He reports that all three (boys) say that the only people they hang with are either legacies or athletes.

All three are legacies.

I don’t find this at all surprising as kids from similar backgrounds tend to hang together but it’s also so disappointing and telling about those schools.

FWIW, my son goes to a big public and yes, his friends are mostly white but not mostly legacies or athletes.

FYI - Duke is not in the Ivy League.

dp.. maybe not, but DC's friend at Duke said something similar to OP. A lot of rich kids who join greek houses. The friend said some of the public HS friends they had are so much smarter than a lot of the rich kids at Duke that this friend hangs with.

So we're high income white people but paying for college isn't going to be exactly easy (we became high earners later in life and it'll be a cash situation that precludes some savings but that's a blessing overall).

My fancy-looking white son has experienced living and going to school in both an urban, very diverse setting and a more suburban, extremely privileged one.

While I want the best for him and ultimately want him to be successful AND happy, I have to say that the most appealing thing to me personally seems to be him going to a state school where he can have a more diverse experience and possible reconnect with some of his friends who are more down to earth. I'm sure he would fit in at a fancy college and he might even be able to get into one, but it would be a bear to pay for and in the end I know what it looks like to close off your world to socio-economic and cultural diversity, and I hope he chooses to cultivate a life beyond sporty boaty bros.

My middle-class white kid at an Ivy definitely notices some SES grouping ( e.g. the billionaire kids only hang out with each other) but overall her friend networks that have developed out of activities, classes etc seem pretty varied as far as kids backgrounds. I am pretty sure you’ll find this at most private colleges, your kid may think they know what “rich” is but it will take on a whole new meaning when they learn about some kids backgrounds in college. It’s not really just an Ivy thing

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gay/trans types all hang together too. does that make them bad people?

Survival instinct, of course.

Are you saying it's the same reason the wealthy hang together?

Survival, as if the mean heterosexual kids are going to beat them up and lynch them?

Rich kids are socializing with rich kids (even if non-white). Seeing that a lot.

And there are a LOT of Uber wealthy international students. Ask your kids who flies privately? It’s not who you think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good news is that there are other cliques at Ivies and SLACs besides athletes and rich kids! There are also different flavors of minority kid cliques, the LGBTQ clique, the theater kid clique, the Woke Kid clique.

Yes if you are a middle class white suburban straight kid you might have trouble fitting in… not least because you are the rarest type of kid to get accepted. How did you even get in here, bro?

Middle class white suburban kids are one of the most abundant at the top schools after wealthy people who don't need financial aid.

Those are mostly athletes. I meant middle class white suburban straight kids who are not athletes.

My kid’s Ivy roommate is not white and not Christian and not rich. They bonded and get along great. They have quite a mix of friends there-lots of diversity in their group—and quite a few International friend as well . Though we are UMC and my kids go/went to a private HS but the majority of their friends were not Caucasian, nor rich.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most top colleges are like this. The richest students, across incomes, hang out with one another. The athletes, usually white outside of mainstream sports, hang out with one another. The Middle Class figure it out. The fgli hang out with the fgli.

All colleges are like this.

This was not me or DC's experience at our ivies.

Not my kid’s either. Friends of different races and scholarship to wealthy. It’s quite a mixed and friendly group.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The gay/trans types all hang together too. does that make them bad people?

But they don't? Kids are much more tolerant now and gay people and straight people aren't separate groups. DC's college group has two gay men-one rich black guy, another low income and asian, two vastly wealthy students, and him- UMC and white suburban. I do notice that UMC white straight boys might accidentally isolate gay kids if they're uncomfortable with them, so there tends to be more women/gay alliances.

You do notice? Do you go to school with your kid?