Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 01:10     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:I have settled two estates over the last four years. Both family members left behind very organized and complete three ring binders with the details around their financials, last wishes etc. It was so helpful to have all of that info. But even with that, it was an incredible amount of work to handle each estate. I can't imagine having to do it for a family member or friend that lives across the country.


Were there trusts or wills? Can you give more info about what was hard and time consuming?
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 22:31     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My dad did a file on the computer years ago that he called "Good Grief." It was instructions for any accounts that he had, whom to call and what to do if he died. He did it for my mom, but mom has basically taken it over (dad is declining) and is updating it for us kids.

Maybe asking the parents to do it for each other is a good way to get the process started?


Good Grief. Ha. That made me smile. Clever guy, that dad of yours. I’m sorry he is declining. Sounds like he has been a great dad.


OR you could leave them alone in their old age and not hassle them about things that are not their problem.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 22:30     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:After going through a few unexpected elderly deaths in my twenties I demanded my parents put something together for me in the event they died unexpectedly. We call it the Hit by the Bus List. They have a notebook with all their information but I am not their executor so I have no idea what it entails.


That’s what we used to say in our office - “If I get hit by a bus, here’s what you need to know.” Slightly morbid, but clear!
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 22:28     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:My dad did a file on the computer years ago that he called "Good Grief." It was instructions for any accounts that he had, whom to call and what to do if he died. He did it for my mom, but mom has basically taken it over (dad is declining) and is updating it for us kids.

Maybe asking the parents to do it for each other is a good way to get the process started?


Good Grief. Ha. That made me smile. Clever guy, that dad of yours. I’m sorry he is declining. Sounds like he has been a great dad.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 18:26     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Where do you all keep these binders and thumb drives and things? My fear is someone breaking into the house and bingo, all our info is nicely on display for them to steal everything if they find it.


My dad password protected a google doc. He just sends it to me and my brother and says "Just updated this with a new account - the password is the middle name of our first dog/the password is the same three items Lauren broke as a child" and then we all know the password.


And so do the hackers. Terrible plan.

Set up a lastpass. Have a hard copy version of backup codes in a safe-deposit with other important docs.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 18:25     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:Where do you all keep these binders and thumb drives and things? My fear is someone breaking into the house and bingo, all our info is nicely on display for them to steal everything if they find it.


My dad password protected a google doc. He just sends it to me and my brother and says "Just updated this with a new account - the password is the middle name of our first dog/the password is the same three items Lauren broke as a child" and then we all know the password.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 18:22     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
My Dad (a CPA) did a good job with this.

The only thing we did not have was passwords to his airline accounts to access his points.

There were a lot of points that were lost.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 18:15     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I mean, none of this is my problem. I'll be dead. Someone else can sort it all out.


It's a gift to your loved ones.


Yeah, but I'll be dead. They can do what they want, I don't care.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 18:14     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:I mean, none of this is my problem. I'll be dead. Someone else can sort it all out.


It's a gift to your loved ones.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 17:53     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
I mean, none of this is my problem. I'll be dead. Someone else can sort it all out.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 17:48     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
No, I don't have a death binder. But I've been meaning to do something like this for years. My DH could figure stuff money out, but he wouldn't know how to book the dogs' walks, when the poodle goes to the groomer, etc.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 17:00     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:My Dad had a binder and it was an absolutely godsend during a very stressful time (he passes suddenly). He just had a printout of every account with the account number and a number to call, all the utilities under his name. Beneficieries had been decided in the will. We went page by page, called every place, sent the death certificate, and when we got to the last page, we were done.



Such a great idea. My binder includes the physical insurance policies, and basically a spreadsheet with a list of the accounts. I need to update it to include utilities, etc., I guess. Also, I need to add the names / numbers of my immediate supervisor and an HR contact at my work.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 16:35     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
I have settled two estates over the last four years. Both family members left behind very organized and complete three ring binders with the details around their financials, last wishes etc. It was so helpful to have all of that info. But even with that, it was an incredible amount of work to handle each estate. I can't imagine having to do it for a family member or friend that lives across the country.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 16:04     Subject: s/o do you have a death binder
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My Dad had a binder and it was an absolutely godsend during a very stressful time (he passes suddenly). He just had a printout of every account with the account number and a number to call, all the utilities under his name. Beneficieries had been decided in the will. We went page by page, called every place, sent the death certificate, and when we got to the last page, we were done.



What a fabulous thing he did for you.


Wow, that is they way to do it!
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 11:23     Subject: Re:s/o do you have a death binder
I think online accounts are a challenge. I have a password manager that my spouse can access and vice versa. I also have an envelope that includes how to access my devices and 2FA methods.