Anonymous wrote:When you do major renovations in your house, don’t insist that everyone who comes over look at them. No tours, no long winded explanations about what you did. Just carry on like it’s always been that way.

lol this has no idea with “good breeding” you’re just jealous.

When you do major renovations in your house, don’t insist that everyone who comes over look at them. No tours, no long winded explanations about what you did. Just carry on like it’s always been that way.

One of the best things about having a lot of money is not having to care about this.

Don't ask how much it cost.

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Anonymous wrote:Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.

Or Virginia Beach.

Unless you’re an old money Richmond-bred type, in which case the north end of Va Beach or Sandbridge are acceptable. But never, ever OBX.

Otherwise, talking about money or how much something costs is a dead giveaway.

I am the OP and I am actually serious. On this forum I have learned that complimenting someone’s home when you visit is considered tacky. That kind of stuff. I had no idea! I mean I know enough not to buy a truck but am genuinely curious about what more subtle things I am doing that blow my cover when I try to pass as someone raised middle or upper class.

I have never heard this. I thought saying something positive and sincere was the right thing to do! And all this time people thought "wow, what a peasant" when I did it.

Because it's incorrect. I am what OP would probably describe as "well-bred." It is customary and gracious to say something nice about your host or hostess's home.

I think they probably mean when there’s a nice house don’t appear gobsmacked at how nice it is.

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Anonymous wrote:Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.

Or Virginia Beach.

Unless you’re an old money Richmond-bred type, in which case the north end of Va Beach or Sandbridge are acceptable. But never, ever OBX.

Otherwise, talking about money or how much something costs is a dead giveaway.

I am the OP and I am actually serious. On this forum I have learned that complimenting someone’s home when you visit is considered tacky. That kind of stuff. I had no idea! I mean I know enough not to buy a truck but am genuinely curious about what more subtle things I am doing that blow my cover when I try to pass as someone raised middle or upper class.

I have never heard this. I thought saying something positive and sincere was the right thing to do! And all this time people thought "wow, what a peasant" when I did it.

Because it's incorrect. I am what OP would probably describe as "well-bred." It is customary and gracious to say something nice about your host or hostess's home.

Cut meat one piece at a time, not all at once.

Put your napkin in your lap.

Close your menu when ready to order.

Examples of well bred manners.

Anonymous wrote:It is the striving bourgeoisie who desperately seeks to judge others on their breeding, or lack thereof.

The poor and aristocrats don't care. The former because they believe they will never arrive, and the latter because their ancestors already secured their place for them. The middle classes are the ones who face the strongest social pressures and the most incentive to signal their belonging to desired groups.

- European aristocrat. My family would never think to judge you or anyone else on such ridiculous details as personal habits, casual remarks or clothing choices, OP. They will always be courteous no matter what.

You post here all the time. I find you incredibly irritating. Your so-called aristocratic status matters nothing at all. Half the European aristocracy have nothing but an old house and a silly costume these days, particularly in France. The fact that your great great uncle managed to save a small part of the family estate by making a side deal with Robespierre to kill all monarchists in the village, in exchange for some hectares of grape vines to avoid your mansion being sacked isn’t the impressive lineage you think it is. Weasel stock that avoided the guillotine. Hurray!!

Just stop bringing it up. Repeating it over and over again doesn’t make it more impressive or believable.

Oh this is so funny OP. My mom would always order steak in restaurants because she didn’t know how to cook steak well herself - and she would always say why she was ordering the steak.

My mom grew up poor. Which could equate to “breeding” l guess but personally l think that word applied to humans is tacky and often overlaps with racism.

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Anonymous wrote:Parochial schools aren’t private?

They are parochial.

And might be Catholic!

Anonymous wrote:Parochial schools aren’t private?

They are parochial.

Anonymous wrote:Going to Ocean City MD for vacation.

Yes, I’m so low class, but I knew that. Haters gonna hate, but it’s way better than obx or boring Bethany.

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Anonymous wrote:It is the striving bourgeoisie who desperately seeks to judge others on their breeding, or lack thereof.

The poor and aristocrats don't care. The former because they believe they will never arrive, and the latter because their ancestors already secured their place for them. The middle classes are the ones who face the strongest social pressures and the most incentive to signal their belonging to desired groups.

- European aristocrat. My family would never think to judge you or anyone else on such ridiculous details as personal habits, casual remarks or clothing choices, OP. They will always be courteous no matter what.

Why, oh why, is everyone "European" always so coy about the actual country? Do you think we'll instantly know who you are if say you're Lithuanian or Danish or Greek or whatever? It's really annoying, almost as if none of you know that Europe is a continent with 40+ countries

I've never someone say "I'm from South America", it's generally always I'm Colombian, Peruvian, Brazilian.

I mean, it also sounds weird to say "I'm from North America" instead of Canada, the US or Mexico.

Yes, it's absurd. Maybe we should start an OT thread and ask all of the "Europeans" that seem to permeate DCUM why they can never name the country!

Anonymous wrote:I was told my an old money boyfriend thirty years ago to “make sure I didn’t dip anything” - like bread in sauce or whatever- in front of his grandmother or she’s consider me low class.

I remember being so shocked. I’m Italian. We dip. Apparently, Ill bred

Are you a real Italian as in born and raised there or from Philly? Because there's a huge difference. And the Italian uperclasses aren't dipping anything either.

Money isn't a true indicator. Well bred people can be impecunious because they or ancestors blew the wad.
That's ill bred to say btw.

Talking about religion, money or politics at the table is just not done btw.