Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow it. My young teens volunteered many hrs a week age 11-13 then worked 14 yo on. Preparation for the working world.

Where do you find that much volunteer and paid work for a 14 yo? I used to babysit, but we don't know that many families with young kids that would want a 14 yo sitter now.

At 13-14 years old, my kid babysat during the days for WAH parents whose preschool-elementary age kids weren't in camp certain weeks or days.

+1 re WFH - a young teen who will entertain my kids for a few gap hours is great. I don't mind being interrupted if needed as well. I have a lower standard than I would for a babysitter watching a baby when I'm not actually in the house, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

Maybe you live in the past. But in 2024 a young teen would be sucked into the addictive internet all day. They don't live in Mayberry where they can jump on their bikes and find an adventure. No one is saying they need to be busy, busy, busy. But to have a physically healthy teen with normal friendships, some structure is required and is a gift to young teens.

I have young teens, thanks. They’re doing great despite an almost complete lack of structure. And they are even learning to regulate their internet usage on their own, which is probably doing a lot more to prevent future addiction issues than having mommy let them use their phone/ipad/tv for precisely 30 minutes each day.

They also are still capable of entertaining themselves outside even without the prospect of “an adventure”. The 14 year old goes out for at least an hour each day to work in his golf swing, for instance.

But I primarily think of my kids as kids, not just future college students or worker bees, so YMMV.

+1000

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I don’t want mine hanging out on video games and it’s a good time to explore their interests.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with video games. And most of you mean it’s a good time for your kids to explore YOUR interests.

Not in moderation. But 14 year olds don't do moderation.

Mine gets extremely bored with video games after an hour or two. Or maybe an hour or two of video games is extreme to you, but moderate to me?

Me too, and hour or two seems perfect to me. I was like that back in the day with Nintendo. I don't get kids who could be glued to it for 8 hours straight if allowed.

Anonymous wrote:My kids aren't doing much.

15 year old rising sophomore: Swim team, football morning workouts, and is reffing 2-3 basketball games per week.

13 year old rising 8th grader: 2 weeks of 9-3 soccer camp and summer basketball league (7 games).

This is not doing much?!
Seems like tons of stuff to me.

My 14 year old is comparatively busy. Swim team practice in the morning. Then a basketball training program for 2 hours in the afternoon. Two days a week has a 6 hour shift at the pool snack bar. Swim meets on mondays and Saturdays. Then hanging out with friends the rest of the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I don’t want mine hanging out on video games and it’s a good time to explore their interests.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with video games. And most of you mean it’s a good time for your kids to explore YOUR interests.

Not in moderation. But 14 year olds don't do moderation.

Mine gets extremely bored with video games after an hour or two. Or maybe an hour or two of video games is extreme to you, but moderate to me?

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I had a summer job when I was 14 back in the olden days - and I see plenty of younger teens working at places like ice cream shops, stores, etc when we go to other parts of the country on vacation, so it's not just this area. You can work 4 hours a day at a easy summer job and still be a kid.

Anonymous wrote:My 14 year old (almost 15) claims that we are being unfair because we require him to be a CIT at a half day camp (9-1) and volunteer one evening per week this summer. He claims most of his friends are either doing nothing, or a 2 hour per morning crew team thing and then nothing. Could this be right? I feel like we are leaving him with ample free time, which he generally wastes playing video games.

Have him mow the yard and weed wack the yard.

Clean and food prep.

Adding - I’d sign my kid up for more if they were just sitting in their room all day. She’s gets out with her friends often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

Maybe you live in the past. But in 2024 a young teen would be sucked into the addictive internet all day. They don't live in Mayberry where they can jump on their bikes and find an adventure. No one is saying they need to be busy, busy, busy. But to have a physically healthy teen with normal friendships, some structure is required and is a gift to young teens.

I have young teens, thanks. They’re doing great despite an almost complete lack of structure. And they are even learning to regulate their internet usage on their own, which is probably doing a lot more to prevent future addiction issues than having mommy let them use their phone/ipad/tv for precisely 30 minutes each day.

They also are still capable of entertaining themselves outside even without the prospect of “an adventure”. The 14 year old goes out for at least an hour each day to work in his golf swing, for instance.

But I primarily think of my kids as kids, not just future college students or worker bees, so YMMV.

Clean, yard work, reading, babysitting.

The only things I sign my 14 yo up for are the things she asks to do. Mostly dance reiated stuff as she got on the high school team for upcoming 9th grade (dance intensive, dance camp with her team, dance classes) which trust me I could use less of - as it’s $$. One week of overnight camp she’s gone to for years.

The only thing I facilitated for her was a babysitting job she has (as it’s through my own connections) which is 3 hours weekly. She doesn’t love it but it’s her spending money for the week and she wants a job once she’s 15/16 she says so she needs some experience for that interview.

Swim team, online summer class with FCPS, 2 hrs 3x/week at another sport. That's July. In August, some chill downtime that will most likely be spent entirely at the pool with friends, a few days to visit grandparents, and a family camping trip. We take our bigger family vacations over winter and spring break rather than summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many of you are clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of just letting your kids be. Exist. They have to always be busy, busy, busy with some outside structured activity. Then you can pat yourselves on the back for being such great parents without ever actually having to parent.

The DMV is a sick area. 14 years olds don’t need jobs or volun(told) hours. Just let them be kids for awhile.

I don’t want mine hanging out on video games and it’s a good time to explore their interests.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with video games. And most of you mean it’s a good time for your kids to explore YOUR interests.

Not in moderation. But 14 year olds don't do moderation.

It’s an awkward age - too old for the ES camps but too young to have a paid job. There are some day camps for the 13-15 year old set though. I’ve seen that age range at chess camps, computer/coding type activities, athletic conditioning, and music. Are there any families with younger kids in your neighborhood and would your child want to be a “parents helper” in the afternoon hours between when ES camps get out and dinner?