Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

You are clueless. They are not victims. No one is saying that. These are complicated issues and thoughtful people are capable of having conversations about it. That’s it. Hope your girls find someone to marry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What alternative world are you living in where life is easier for girls? I've never heard of boys being sexually harrassed by grown men at age 9, 10, 11 just for existing in public? In what scenario do men not have full autonomy over how they care for their bodies? How many women have been president in the US? How many cents are women earning to the dollar these days?

+1000. This is some crazy sexist male privilege whack job s***. I’m the mom of three girls and I literally can’t with this. Are you for real????

Anonymous wrote:I only have a son but always thought I would worry a lot more if I had a daughter, in terms of the possibility of her being victimized/abused. I don’t share you concerns about having a boy - my biggest concern is raising him to be a decent man, not toxic, entitled, abusive. I think it’s so concerning seeing how certain online platforms are designed to draw impressionable young boys into dark, misogynistic, racist ideas and movements.

Anonymous wrote:What alternative world are you living in where life is easier for girls? I've never heard of boys being sexually harrassed by grown men at age 9, 10, 11 just for existing in public? In what scenario do men not have full autonomy over how they care for their bodies? How many women have been president in the US? How many cents are women earning to the dollar these days?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

Your kid “literally cried” over a school supply list and you concluded that something was wrong….with the school?

Yes. Making 10 and 11 year old kids use crayons and glue sticks to do their schoolwork is developmentally inappropriate.
I get why he cried.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

Your kid “literally cried” over a school supply list and you concluded that something was wrong….with the school?

Anonymous wrote:I worry a lot less about my daughter. I am not sure why.

Is it just because son is the first kid and bears the burden of all my hopes and expectations?

Part of me thinks it might be because I think it’s just harder for boys in the world in the long term. Girls mature faster and outperform boys so much in school, and also always have the option of an easier career or staying at home with the kids. To do well in a HCOL area like we do, boys eventually have to have a lucrative, high paying job and with that, there’s so much more stress on the academic and college front when they are younger.

And girls are just easier when younger based on what I hear. Fewer learning issues, therapies needed. Went past a speech therapy office recently and the 4 children in the waiting room were all boys.


Anyone relate?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a boy and a girl and I think there is enough worry to go around.

Toxic masculinity is alive and well. The lane boys are supposed to fit into or they will get made fun of and socially rejected is much narrower than girls. Early elementary education is set up for them to feel like failures. There is also a level of hostility toward them (see it on this thread) that they know is there. White boys in particular are simultaneously on the top of the pecking order in every way societally still, but also told they completely suck much of the time in popular culture. No one feels bad for them and no one should, but when you're raising one you notice and they notice too.

Girls, does anyone need to even debate this? Being a woman in this world is rough. I have thought about this a lot and girls so clearly have their shit together more than boys, on average. And then puberty. Testosterone, brute strength of one sex over the other, and women having babies. No turning back and it's never a fair fight and never will be. And they can be awful to each other in a way that will take your breath away.

I want to agree with the bolded so, so much. Even my son who is very bright and likes to learn really struggled with elementary school. The expectation that every 6 year old boy is going want to spend a lot of time sitting at his desk coloring and doing crafts every day is ridiculous. This targets a specific group of kids, mostly girls. It would be like teaching math and history through daily Nerf gun battles and giving poor grades to kids who don’t like Nerf and got sick of it. DS literally silently cried when he got his school supply list going into fifth grade and saw crayons and glue sticks were still on it.

He is in high school now and doing very well.

I don’t know what’s going on, OP, but hang in there. There are ups and downs for everyone.

Your kid “literally cried” over a school supply list and you concluded that something was wrong….with the school?

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

These are the guys that will get sucked into andrew tate/RW crazies. There will be plenty of normal men out there. Not all parents are MAGA!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.

These are the guys that will get sucked into andrew tate/RW crazies. There will be plenty of normal men out there. Not all parents are MAGA!

Anonymous wrote:What’s worrying about this thread is all the parents already making excuses for their boys. There will not be independent well-adjusted men for our daughters to marry if they’re raised by these women who already raise them to see themselves as victims in a society which privileges them.