Anonymous wrote:I have two boys. It was crazy how many times I got asked if I would try for a girl while I was pregnant with my second (once I said it was another boy). Having two boys suits me well. I grew up with a sister close in age and we played well when we were little, but so much drama as we got older. I see the drama starting among girls my older son’s age and I want no part of it.

I know someone who has 6 boys because they kept trying for a girl and eventually gave up. I cannot imagine.

It is just idle chit chat. I have 2 girls. Happy with two girls. Guess what? Everyone asks if we are going for that boy. I just say no and we move on.

Boys can have drama too. I didn't have any drama and I have a sistet and a brother.

I am the fourth girl and as an adult now I am fully aware I was my parents last ditch effort to have a son. It sucks, but I also know how much my parents loved me and obviously wouldn’t trade me for a son.

Anonymous wrote:I know a lot of families with three boys. You know they would have stopped at two if one was a girl.

3 boys here, but would have had 3 kids no matter what the gender of my first two were. I always wanted at least 3, and maybe 4 if my spouse was open to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not going to lie, I was so relieved when #1 was a girl. That meant that it truly did not matter to me what #2 ended up (turns out, another girl.) I told DH I would try for a boy be he said he was good with the two girls. If we had two boys I for sure would have had a third, and possibly a fourth but I don’t know. I really don’t know if I would have been as good as a boy mom. I’m low energy and like things quiet.

My child is a girl and I felt the same relief. Turns out I couldn't have more children, so I'm happy I have my girl.

Same here. I was relieved to have a girl so that I could be fully happy with either for #2. Then it turned out that #2 wasn't possible. Definitely makes it easier to move past the desire for a second when there's not the lingering "what if."

I know someone who has 4 boys. They didnt even want more than 3 kids but kept going hoping the last was a girl. Nope! They are done now and the husband got snipped. I too felt bad for the last boy

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a family like that and so far has 5 sons. Really cuckoo. Wonder at what number the mother will give up.

My mother was like that but wanted a boy to spoil. Instead she got two daughters who she was competitive and neglectful with.

At that point it would be much cheaper to do IVF with gender selection

Gender selection should be illegal.

My great-great great grandmother had 10 girls before she had her first boy. They needed @ boy so that their farm/estate would stay with a child. My great-great grand mother was the 12th child. She grew up in relative comfort, but like the Bennet girls she had a very small inheritance/allowance.

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think if you’re so set on having a specific gender, you should just do IVF for family balancing instead of rolling the dice. I know several people who kept going until they had a girl. I understand their gender disappointment and don’t judge them (unless they do obnoxious gender reveals on social media and things like that that make their preference clear) - I just don’t understand why not do IVF.

Because a lot of these people don’t have an extra liquid $25k sitting around. Yes I know an extra kid costs way more over time.

Anonymous wrote:I thought reputable IVF clinics don’t allow gender selection. Is that no longer true?

No longer true

Personally I think if you’re so set on having a specific gender, you should just do IVF for family balancing instead of rolling the dice. I know several people who kept going until they had a girl. I understand their gender disappointment and don’t judge them (unless they do obnoxious gender reveals on social media and things like that that make their preference clear) - I just don’t understand why not do IVF.

Anonymous wrote:I don't know that it's really that different from I want X number of kids. Reason being, most people aiming for 2 kids in no way are having a 3rd or 4th for a certain gender. Those willing to do so were already open to a larger family.

But what if someone wants 2 and can't have them? Then moves mountains to do so? Many find that more socially acceptable than this situation but it's really no different.

NP
This is me. I wanted to kids - of any gender. I wanted a girl, but preferred a healthy baby over a girl. My husband initially slightly wanted a boy. Our first was a girl. The second - I didn't care at all about the gender and DH switched to a slight preference for a girl - because he wanted to reuse our clothing and baby equipment - is real preference over gender apparently was financial. We had another girl and stopped. We're both extremely happy. Had it gone differently- we would have been extremely happy with any gender healthy children.

Anonymous wrote:I know a family like that and so far has 5 sons. Really cuckoo. Wonder at what number the mother will give up.

My mother was like that but wanted a boy to spoil. Instead she got two daughters who she was competitive and neglectful with.

This describes my mother except she went for the third and had her boy. I've grown up knowing my own mother didn't want me and I was a disappointment from birth. She says she loves me, but her actions and attitudes speak so loud I can't hear what she says.

When she was mad at me when I was little she actually told me she preferred my brother and only wanted boys. She doesn't remember that. I'll never forget it! True feelings come out even when you think you are hiding them.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not going to lie, I was so relieved when #1 was a girl. That meant that it truly did not matter to me what #2 ended up (turns out, another girl.) I told DH I would try for a boy be he said he was good with the two girls. If we had two boys I for sure would have had a third, and possibly a fourth but I don’t know. I really don’t know if I would have been as good as a boy mom. I’m low energy and like things quiet.

My child is a girl and I felt the same relief. Turns out I couldn't have more children, so I'm happy I have my girl.

I have two boys. It was crazy how many times I got asked if I would try for a girl while I was pregnant with my second (once I said it was another boy). Having two boys suits me well. I grew up with a sister close in age and we played well when we were little, but so much drama as we got older. I see the drama starting among girls my older son’s age and I want no part of it.

I know someone who has 6 boys because they kept trying for a girl and eventually gave up. I cannot imagine.

I’m not going to lie, I was so relieved when #1 was a girl. That meant that it truly did not matter to me what #2 ended up (turns out, another girl.) I told DH I would try for a boy be he said he was good with the two girls. If we had two boys I for sure would have had a third, and possibly a fourth but I don’t know. I really don’t know if I would have been as good as a boy mom. I’m low energy and like things quiet.