Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 19:19     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:Well, I have to be careful how I say it. It is not on the East Coast or the West Coast, Chicago, Nashville, or Vegas.


Dam so basically on a farm. Just get the best overalls money can buy
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 13:47     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you so convinced it’s about your clothing? Honest question, I promise.


Because in the car, that’s what DH said he thought it was.


Well, sure. Your husband isn't going to tell you they dislike you because of your personality.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:46     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:I dress nice most days and I work from home part time. Dresses or nice pants with a proper top or sometimes a jumpsuit. Light makeup and jewelry and I do my hair. I live in DC and most people around are dressed ore casually but I don't really care. I feel better when I look more put together.

Are you the person who moved to a "flyover state" and was complaining that no one dresses up and you think you dressing nicely is keeping you from making friends? I said it in that thread and I'll say it here but I don't think that's the issue -- wear what you want. But don't disdain others who dress down. I have lots of friends who don't dress up as uch as I do and it's not an issue at all and it's not like they used to dress up or something -- I'm just their friend who is a bit more formal and dress.


OP is just another immigrant disrupting a culture and refusing to assimilate.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:44     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:I don't do "yard work" and the lakes I hang out at are essentially Lario and Thunersee. So yes, I wear generally the same clothes there as I do here.


What are these words?
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:42     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why are you so convinced it’s about your clothing? Honest question, I promise.


Because in the car, that’s what DH said he thought it was.


That is a very interesting answer


Buried lede! DH trying to tell OP he doesn't like her look.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:40     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
No of course not. Last weekend I went to a children's ballet recital. I wore a t-shirt (that was accidentally wrinkled even though it was folded - not well, I guess), jeans and sneakers. My SIL was wearing a leather tank (?), a pin striped blazer, skinny jeans and ballet flats.

We both chatted with the exact same people.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:38     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:I’m not convinced you’re actually dressing better than the other woman.

If so, they likely care about other things more. They are competing on kids, business, their homes etc. Not clothing and appearance.

They likely aren’t impressed by your clothing anymore than you’d be impressed by someone driving a Ferrari.


Maybe they are "competing" on being a loving family and community.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:37     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:OP the problem is if you live in a flyover state with a lot of SAHMs they mostly only care about kids. Everything is child focused. Notice how the couples don’t do anything on their own? They care about travel soccer, the PTA, their yard etc.

If you want to actually have a life you have to live somewhere more UMC or possibly even wealthy.




So sad that you are so afraid of your real life that you chase materialistic distractions.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:36     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
I dress nicely to everything. But I do dress up even more for special occasions. This is the last week of school so there's a lot of events- awards ceremonies and such. People basically show up in pajamas. I am dressed a bit more than business casual to these events- a dress and flats. I make my sons wear button downs. I just think certain situations require nicer outfits.

Home Depot or Lowes are about the only places I show up looking like a hot mess. Typically we're gardening, painting or in the middle of a project and we realize we need supplies.

While I don't like pajamas in public (what is it with men in pajamas?!!? At Costco/grocery store/school?), leggings are fine to me. Or shorts and a plain t shirt. I don't judge others, but I do feel a bit judged when I am dressed nicely.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:27     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
I dress nicely almost every day even though I work from home and have young kids. On days I go into the office, I'll up it by wearing stilettos.

I get complimented often am never ostracized as you seem to claim you do. I am also a nice person and I think it has more to do with that than what I wear.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 12:09     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
I always "dress up." But in my culture (European) it is normal and expected. Everyone treats me just fine here and is happy to talk with me. I think OP must have some very weird energy or a strange personality.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 11:59     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I dress nice most days and I work from home part time. Dresses or nice pants with a proper top or sometimes a jumpsuit. Light makeup and jewelry and I do my hair. I live in DC and most people around are dressed ore casually but I don't really care. I feel better when I look more put together.

Are you the person who moved to a "flyover state" and was complaining that no one dresses up and you think you dressing nicely is keeping you from making friends? I said it in that thread and I'll say it here but I don't think that's the issue -- wear what you want. But don't disdain others who dress down. I have lots of friends who don't dress up as uch as I do and it's not an issue at all and it's not like they used to dress up or something -- I'm just their friend who is a bit more formal and dress.


Yes it’s me. I have social circle I click with. I’m just trying to get to know the moms at DD’s new school so she will keep getting invited to parties.


Honestly OP it doesn't sound like your problem is the clothes.


+100 possibly they are aging you or giving a certain vibe (evangelical/puritanical?).more likely they can tell you are not genuine - you are transactional, and personally I HATE meeting thirsty moms. Huge turnoff.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 10:45     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
Currently, I work from home and hate my life. My clothing reflects my unhappiness.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 10:38     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
I always dress nicely. With you OP.
Anonymous
Post 06/11/2024 09:05     Subject: Is it only socially acceptable to dress nice for work?
There are a lot of parents at our suburban elementary school and middle school who look nice no matter the occasion. Even in athleisure at a casual event, it's on trend, in good condition, and fits well. This isn't limited to people who are in good shape. Most people I know are trying their best. There's no accounting for taste, I suppose, but looking around my circle of friends most of us are putting thought into how we present ourselves. I admit I look at some people and don't get the aesthetic, but I can appreciate the attempt. Maybe you should try the same.