Anonymous
06/06/2024 21:50
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:An elderly relative who is in poor health has named me as estate executor. I also, if they become mentally unfit, will have power of attorney. I have been made privy to the will, which will leave about $100k to my DC. There are no strings attached, no restrictions on when the money can be accessed. My teen is struggling with anxiety now and making very poor decisions.
It took nearly 2 years to find a therapist for this child. The therapist recently told my child — in the grand scheme of things that grades don’t matter. Unfortunately my child has used that to basically stop doing any work for school. There are no known drug issues — just a desire to drop out of anything they do not want to do. The idea of a 16yo who wants to drop out of high school having unrestricted access to $100k is a scary thought.
The relative is in Michigan and has several health issues. He does not want to make changes because he feels it is a hassle. He is in Michigan, we are in Virginia.
I’m guessing that as executor I have no authority to create a trust to put this forthcoming inheritance in. I also assume that I can do nothing as the minor’s parent. I know all bets are off if they inherit at 18y.
Advice?
My relative has been hospitalized twice this year. He may not make it to the end of the year, but his mother went back and forth with illness until she was 100, so who knows how long he has. I hope he’s around and can enjoy life a bit more, but he tells me not to plan on it (he has congestive heart and lung issues). I’d rather he spent his last penny before he dies.
The relative has told you he does not want to make changes and he does not want to be hassled.
Don't hassle the relative or you might get "0".
This would allow your son to have a paid for car and paid for car insurance.
This is a pretty small sum of money. I absolutely would not hassle the relative.
Spend your time between now and death educating your son on money.
I'm surprised we've only had a few posters tossing out the ridiculous assertion that this is a small amount of money. What bull shite. It's a lot of money. I wouldn't consider the opinion of anyone who made that statement. People always look for any opportunity to humble brag even on an anonymous board.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 21:50
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are borrowing trouble. Your kid is getting an inheritance and you are stressing about it? Worry about climate change or something...
This. This is a small sum of money as these things go. Honestly it would allow the kid to buy a car.
I would not do a trust for 100k. The fees will be way too high.
Never chance DCUM.
You don’t do a trust for less than $500k.
This is simply not true
Anonymous
06/06/2024 21:40
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:You are borrowing trouble. Your kid is getting an inheritance and you are stressing about it? Worry about climate change or something...
Not op. So much better just to stick your head in the sand because, yay money! /s
Anonymous
06/06/2024 21:38
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, stop with the idea that you will/should financially manage - what will be, an adult.
In 2 years from now. A short amount of time.
Her kid has anxiety, depression and is not on a path towards adulting. She is smart to want to ensure it's not blown, more importantly not blown on drugs/gambling/addictions of any type.
I don’t think keeping the child perpetually a kid is the answer. So what if dc blows through the money. It’s a learning experience, let dc grow into an adult. Their is no bulletproof way doing it. [/quote
Encouraging an elderly relative to change the terms so the kid doesn't get a lump sum at 18 does not equal keeping the child perpetually a kid as you so awkwardly described it. Do you hear how ridiculous you sound? You are almost humble bragging because I'm sure you want us to think 10k is nothing to you.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 20:45
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
I would spend a few thousand of my own money to prevent this outcome if it were my kid, OP. See a lawyer who represents you, not the estate you may be responsible for executing.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 20:44
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Can you arrange for a lawyer to go to his home and walk him through creating a trust. It literally took us a total of 45 minutes to do this.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 20:37
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are borrowing trouble. Your kid is getting an inheritance and you are stressing about it? Worry about climate change or something...
This. This is a small sum of money as these things go. Honestly it would allow the kid to buy a car.
I would not do a trust for 100k. The fees will be way too high.
Never chance DCUM.
You don’t do a trust for less than $500k.
My comment was about $100K "a small sum of money," not whether to put it in a trust.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 20:35
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Therapists have seen a fair share of suicidal overly stressed burnt out kids. Unfortunately, they've swung the pendulum to putting zero importance on studies/grades and love touting this line. If a kid easily agrees with that philosophy, they might not be the kind of kid that needs to hear it.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 20:23
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
I would make the trust conditional on my kid completing high school and maybe even college.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 20:10
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are borrowing trouble. Your kid is getting an inheritance and you are stressing about it? Worry about climate change or something...
This. This is a small sum of money as these things go. Honestly it would allow the kid to buy a car.
I would not do a trust for 100k. The fees will be way too high.
Never chance DCUM.
You don’t do a trust for less than $500k.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 19:29
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
He doesn’t wanna pay for the paperwork to set up a trust. That’s understandable. Maybe you can talk to an attorney about whether or not as the guardian of the minor you have the right to put it in trust
Anonymous
06/06/2024 19:14
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:An elderly relative who is in poor health has named me as estate executor. I also, if they become mentally unfit, will have power of attorney. I have been made privy to the will, which will leave about $100k to my DC. There are no strings attached, no restrictions on when the money can be accessed. My teen is struggling with anxiety now and making very poor decisions.
It took nearly 2 years to find a therapist for this child. The therapist recently told my child — in the grand scheme of things that grades don’t matter. Unfortunately my child has used that to basically stop doing any work for school. There are no known drug issues — just a desire to drop out of anything they do not want to do. The idea of a 16yo who wants to drop out of high school having unrestricted access to $100k is a scary thought.
The relative is in Michigan and has several health issues. He does not want to make changes because he feels it is a hassle. He is in Michigan, we are in Virginia.
I’m guessing that as executor I have no authority to create a trust to put this forthcoming inheritance in. I also assume that I can do nothing as the minor’s parent. I know all bets are off if they inherit at 18y.
Advice?
My relative has been hospitalized twice this year. He may not make it to the end of the year, but his mother went back and forth with illness until she was 100, so who knows how long he has. I hope he’s around and can enjoy life a bit more, but he tells me not to plan on it (he has congestive heart and lung issues). I’d rather he spent his last penny before he dies.
The relative has told you he does not want to make changes and he does not want to be hassled.
Don't hassle the relative or you might get "0".
This would allow your son to have a paid for car and paid for car insurance.
This is a pretty small sum of money. I absolutely would not hassle the relative.
Spend your time between now and death educating your son on money.
Yes, the relative has told me it’s hassle. When I pointed out that he was leaving his formerly estranged sibling (they’ve reconciled a few years ago, and it’s been good), he did not want to change the will. What he decided to do instead was give her a lump sum check So that’s what we had his financial planner do. We discussed what he’d wants to see DC do with the inheritance but doesn’t want the hassle of changing the will. The codicil sounds like it may work. Thanks for input DCUM!
Whatever remains in his estate (I’m fine if my relative dies having spent down to $0) is then distributed by percentage. By the look of things, it is going to be $100k for DC. That is huge for a 16yo.
FWIW my relative moved into a senior living facility last year, and if he can’t pay his rent, I’m on the hook. I had to sign the papers before he moved. I’m the one who gets the calls from the hospital, senior facility, etc. I’m the one that has talked to him regularly for DECADES. I know him well.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 18:50
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:If the relative dies before the kid is 18, you can set up a trust as the parent.
If your kid is 18, let them have the money. If your kid fails and spends it all, consider it a very expensive lesson from the school of hard knocks.
Don't do anything controlling for slimy to control your adult child. The operative word is "adult". He will be an adult and he has to have the choice and opportunity to make mistakes, even big ones.
Stupid advice. I’ve only heard losers spout this philosophy, and I’m not sure I’ve used that word…since middle school? Still, I stand by the term loser. The parents I know who had this philosophy ruined their child’s life, and I judge them harshly for it.
Of course you get that money in a trust, no matter what. Kid gets 33% at 25, 50% at 30, and 100% at 35, or whatever. *Then* you let the kid blow through it. They probably waste what they inherit at 25, but will have two more chances to learn their lessons. If they can’t make a decent decision at 35 or 40 or whatever, then you let them learn from the school of hard knocks. Not at 18 ffs!
Anonymous
06/06/2024 18:35
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:I'm finding it helpful to assume the "just let him have the money right away" responses are from a bored teenager.
No, I’m a functional adult who got a big chunk of money as a teen.
Anonymous
06/06/2024 18:34
Subject: Teenager about to inherit money outside a trust
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You are borrowing trouble. Your kid is getting an inheritance and you are stressing about it? Worry about climate change or something...
This. This is a small sum of money as these things go. Honestly it would allow the kid to buy a car.
I would not do a trust for 100k. The fees will be way too high.
Never chance DCUM.