My kids get free breakfast and lunch at school. They aren’t hungry before we leave for school at 8 so they don’t want breakfast at home. By 8:45 when breakfast is offered at school, they are willing to eat. It’s not healthy and I wish they would eat a nutritious breakfast at home but they aren’t hungry at that time so what can I do.
I used to pack a lunch and they would see something for school lunch they wanted and eat that instead. My balanced lunch would come home uneaten. I would tell my kids that
was wasteful and if they wanted me to pack a lunch, they should eat it. So then they started eating both- whatever they wanted from free
School lunch, plus what I packed for them so they didn’t come home with wasted food. 2 lunches is not appropriate for my 95th percentile children.
So I gave up. I let go of my wish for them to eat our food.
If they want lunch from home, they pack it themselves- main item, fruit, veg, and one snacky item is the formula they stick to. When they pack their own lunch they seem to eat it and skip school lunch.
I just make sure dinners and weekend meals are nutritious and fresh.
It does bother me though that they eat 2 meals per day at school but I can’t force them to turn down the free food.

Anonymous wrote:At our school you can tell the school what your child is not allowed to have from the cafeteria. Just tell the teacher.

That has to be at schools where not everyone gets free lunch and some students are paying for their meals. If the school offers free lunch the school can't decline to give a student the lunch even if the parent prefers they don't eat it unless there are food allergies or some medical reason.

California just implemented universal meals in schools. Every student in public K-12 schools are provided breakfast and lunch for free. It doesn't matter your income. I think this is great idea because no child is stigmatized for getting free lunch, or for forgetting their money. All students are eating the same thing. It motivates kids who are picky to try new foods. The entire community can put pressure on schools to serve good meals. Many California school menus are improving with universal meals. Even the worst school lunch isn't that bad. It has to be nutritionally balanced and can't have excess sugar or salt.

I tell my daughter it is poison and that if she eats it she will have violent diarrhea and have an accident at school. She never touched that food again. We pack a very balanced and healthy lunch that we cook each morning for her. Her latest fav is deconstructed sushi. I feel for you but sometimes you have to put the fear of god in them.

Meals are socialable. Just like we share them at home, it’s the same thing at school. This is not a hill to die on. Offer kids a choice and they will ultimately choose what they like.

My kids' district doesn't give them a free lunch, but they don't challenge the kids who ask for lunch. I don't find out until the lunches come home full, and/or we get a notification that the school lunch fund is overdrawn.

I don't have huge feelings against them eating school lunch—I would prefer they ate home lunch, mainly so we know what they're eating and the relative health of it—but it drives me bonkers to spend 45 minutes of early morning time when I could be staring into space, watching television, or MAYBE doing something nice with the kids, making these stupid lunches only to have them come home uneaten and no idea what they did eat.

My 11yo often eats the best parts of home lunch (see the high calorie, high sugar things which, if taken as part of a complete meal would be okay) AND a school lunch. It's infuriating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s 5 meals a week of 21. Make the other 16 healthy and don’t worry about the 5

And what about when it’s university free breakfast too? Now that’s 10 meals of junk per week provided. Thanks public schools.

Wow. You're annoyed that food insecure children are getting fed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop packing leftovers.

My DS told me that kids who bring leftovers or smelly foods are made fun of. Maybe that's what is going on.

Also, let me just say: the friends of my kids who have strict parents who control their food options go absolutely feral at my house where we don't control food.

Being super controlling over food leads to food issues with your kids when they're older. My own sis is going through this. Her teen has a job and his own money and started eating lots of fast food that she never allowed. He packed on weight. He's 17 with high blood pressure!!

This! There is such a fine line between teaching your kids healthy habits and being a control freak. Check your own food issues before you pass them on to your kids.

I completely agree. My parents were a little strict on treats and things growing up. All it did was make me buy my own junk food or go nuts on snacks when at a friends houses when older. And it has definitely influenced my relationship with food as I have been heavier from teenage years on because of it. I have a young child and just don’t make any foods off-limits. We have things like tortilla chips, cookies, and Popsicles at home. And some days she has some, other days she does not. Hoping this contributes to healthy habits. And that includes eating the processed school lunch sometimes.

I let my kid do school lunch once per week. The other days she brings. Has worked out for us. Also, stop packing leftovers. Give her a healthy school lunch appealing to kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you told her she's not allowed to? You're the parent and she's to eat what you pack? And then make sure it's stuff she likes.

Of course if your kid does whatever she wants and ignores what you say, that's a different problem.

I have done this repeatedly, and she just ignores what I say. I think a part of it is wanting to fit in with the other kids. Most of the meals I pack are things she likes because she chose them for dinner the night before. It could also be an aversion to eating the same meal two days in a row, but I don’t have it in me to cook more frequently.

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I’d try a sandwich or something other than leftovers. She may just not like the leftovers. With the exception of pizza, my kids don’t like cold leftovers the next day and I haven’t found a thermos that will keep them warm enough. I will incorporate leftovers a little differently like last night’s noodles in pasta salad or leftover grilled chicken in a salad, etc.

My kid’s school offered free breakfast and lunch two years during the pandemic. My older two preferred lunch at first, then tired of it. They didn’t regularly take breakfast as they’d eaten at home.

Anonymous wrote:Stop packing leftovers.

My DS told me that kids who bring leftovers or smelly foods are made fun of. Maybe that's what is going on.

Also, let me just say: the friends of my kids who have strict parents who control their food options go absolutely feral at my house where we don't control food.

Being super controlling over food leads to food issues with your kids when they're older. My own sis is going through this. Her teen has a job and his own money and started eating lots of fast food that she never allowed. He packed on weight. He's 17 with high blood pressure!!

This! There is such a fine line between teaching your kids healthy habits and being a control freak. Check your own food issues before you pass them on to your kids.

Our school breakfast is free and reasonably healthy, including cheese stick, apple slices, milk, I forget what else. My kid eats blast at home and sometimes will eat more at school
And sometimes will
Only eat school breakfast. Lunch is a free hot meal. Lots of options. I don’t think a hamburger is particularly unhealthy. Always veggies, always fruit. I don’t love that they get juice sometimes or chocolate milk but I remember my free school lunches in the 90s in nyc that I had no choice but to eat because we were poor and this is a huge improvement. Not ideal but school lunches are very wasteful if kids don’t eat them.
Anyway I am a healthy adult with normal eating habits despite school lunches.

Stop packing leftovers.

My DS told me that kids who bring leftovers or smelly foods are made fun of. Maybe that's what is going on.

Also, let me just say: the friends of my kids who have strict parents who control their food options go absolutely feral at my house where we don't control food.

Being super controlling over food leads to food issues with your kids when they're older. My own sis is going through this. Her teen has a job and his own money and started eating lots of fast food that she never allowed. He packed on weight. He's 17 with high blood pressure!!