Anonymous wrote:I'm just going to throw out there, I dog sit. If one of my clients has a big, important event that they want to secure me for, they book me months out. I had inquiries for bookings for september way back in January. At the beginning of the year my work sets out all the dates for our upcoming meetings, and considers those black out dates.

If you wanted to ensure she was available for your important dates, you would have noted this. She gave you a ton of notice.

Correct.

Also, adults don’t know or care about camp schedules. I’m a primary parent of teens and don’t know how early camps need to be booked since they never attended summer camps. They had lessons, went to the pool, etc.

Anonymous wrote:You're asking an employer to give you MORE THAN TWO MONTHS NOTICE?

You are incredibly entitled, OP. And wrong. It's not her problem you're opening an office in August. As soon as you knew that, maybe you should have locked her in for those dates.

I can't believe you're mad at her instead of being mad at yourself. Or maybe you're transfering your anger.

This. If you knew you were going to have blackout dates where you definitely needed her, you should have been proactive and said "hey Nanny, I'm not sure if you were looking to take vacation during the summer, but I have this going on during August and would really appreciate if you could do your best to plan around that." But somehow I get the impression that there wouldn't be any good time for her to take vacation during the summer which isn't reasonable.

1. Do people really take a TWO WEEK girls trip?! I love friend trips, but they are like 3-4 days.

And you say your nanny has kids? I’d be giving any parent major side eye if they took a two week vacay with their friends away from their spouse / kids. Am I off base?

2. You’ll find someone to fill in, but I wouldn’t expect much from them. It’s annoying to train a new person. Maybe your nanny can train the fill in person before she leaves on her vacay.

3. Lesson learned for you OP - get your important work conflicts on your nanny’s schedule as early as possible.

Anonymous wrote:I mean, if my kids were in school full time and I was paying for a full time nanny year round, I would discuss in any interview and write in the contract that they could not take time off during the kids' summer break except for X week when my family is on vacation. You basically need her for 10 weeks a year and she is gone for two of them? I'd look for someone new.

I think OP is exaggerating on that point. I'm sure the nanny takes care of the kids before and after school. OP seems to expect the nanny to read her mind and know she wouldn't have hired a nanny if it weren't for summer break.

I don’t think anyone is begrudging nanny time off. I think it is the way nanny handled it.

I asked off for one or two extended vacations during career, once for three weeks to kayak down the Grand Canyon. It was during the busy season, but I went to boss with a plan and options. I didn’t just say I’d be gone. I am entitled to my leave of course, but I also did have a job that needed to get done.

This nanny didn’t even make a plan. She just said she’d be gone. The family shouldn’t have to say I really need you to work this week because she was already scheduled to work.

Nanny just said she’d be gone. If she has worked for them for years, she knows summer coverage is important with no school. She didn’t explain why it was “last minute (admittedly subjective), Come up with suggestions, or even sound appreciative. “I know this is hard for you but I really appreciate it.” Nanny or not, I would not treat my boss this way.

She does not need to ask your permission to take a vacation. The notice she gave is more than appropriate. You can be frustrated, but you need to get over it. You don't own her just because you pay her.

I mean, if my kids were in school full time and I was paying for a full time nanny year round, I would discuss in any interview and write in the contract that they could not take time off during the kids' summer break except for X week when my family is on vacation. You basically need her for 10 weeks a year and she is gone for two of them? I'd look for someone new.

I think if you value her, then you deal with it this time - and going forward, establish a different way of planning her vacations.

Maybe you and she sit down with a calendar at the beginning of the year and you mark out the dates when you are definitely going to need coverage. Ask her if any of those conflict with her known plans.

Let her know that for summer plans, you need to know by - whenever - April, if she's going to be going away so you can get the kids into camps.

If you and she can't coordinate this together in a reasonable way, then the onus is on you to find someone else - or to find backup plans if you don't want to fire her.

I would be very annoyed at this but wouldn't fire her if you're otherwise happy (and/or don't think you can get someone better). I'd really try to look at this as an opportunity to set out a process that'll work for you both going forward.

Maybe she should have *requested* before booking travel but honestly? After she’s been a good employee with you for years, you should have said yes and found a way to cover. Either way, you are in the exact same spot as now.

You should advertise you need care for those two weeks. Plenty of people in between jobs will be happy to work with your family.

Fire her

I find it hard to believe you can't find a camp. Just send them anywhere. Lord, it doesn't have to be fancy or educational.

I notice OP hadn’t come back to respond to anyone. Troll or the thread didn’t go the way she wanted,.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:YTA.

She's an employee, not a slave.

I would have said yes if my nanny had handled it differently. Ask, promise to help find coverage. Not just make an announcement when you know you are needed most.

But by informing you instead of asking, she guarantees that she gets to go, unless you're going to shoot yourself in the foot by firing her now.

I'm just going to throw out there, I dog sit. If one of my clients has a big, important event that they want to secure me for, they book me months out. I had inquiries for bookings for september way back in January. At the beginning of the year my work sets out all the dates for our upcoming meetings, and considers those black out dates.

If you wanted to ensure she was available for your important dates, you would have noted this. She gave you a ton of notice.