Anonymous wrote:Vacation version. Three couples agree to 7 days at the Outer Banks (peak covid). Find a house to accommodate everyone, share cost split between three couples for the week. When it is time to pay back the person who booked on their card, one couple says that now they only plan on staying 3 days, so they are only paying for 3 days. Despite the initial agreement and house size and cost to accommodate them when they are there. Other two couples ate the additional cost.

Yikes. This wins the thread.

I don't drink and hate splitting the check 50/50 with people guzzling booze like it's their job.

One person at a large table who states she will not tip on the tax. Which is like a small amount but still will not pay the same amount as everyone else so others have to make up for it to have a full tip. And for those of you who don't tip on the tax, you're cheap.

Vacation version. Three couples agree to 7 days at the Outer Banks (peak covid). Find a house to accommodate everyone, share cost split between three couples for the week. When it is time to pay back the person who booked on their card, one couple says that now they only plan on staying 3 days, so they are only paying for 3 days. Despite the initial agreement and house size and cost to accommodate them when they are there. Other two couples ate the additional cost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My personal favorite was the colleague who would collect everybody’s cash (back when people still used it) and then stinge or even stiff the tip everybody had kicked in for, getting the purchase points to boot. Had a waitress chase them down the street once for a proper tip.

In the rare case that my sister pays I always have to hang around the table and put some cash on the table because she’s cheap and finds ways to justify a low tip.

This was worse than that. Other people included tip money, sometimes a generous amount, and the credit card person allocated that to themself to the maximum they thought they could get away with.

My worst group split check experience was when I was a grad student. I was presenting at a conference and the dean of my program invited me to go out for dinner with a few of her peers as there was one who she thought I would be a good connection. Turns out it was to a pretty expensive restaurant. The group was all senior administration and full professors - probably all making 200K+ a year. I was making 25K. It was a painful dinner for me as they ate and drank expensive bottles of wine for hours! I had ordered the cheapest thing on the menu (pasta) and drank water and even thought that was going to be really expensive for me and I hated paying $25 for a bowl of pasta (this was years ago). I should have just left and paid my bill myself on the way out but I wasn't sure how it would look to leave the meal early. It was pretty painful sitting there as they were all tipsy and knew each other well. Then the bill came and someone just told the waiter to split it evenly and everyone kept talking and thought nothing of it. I wasn't even sure if I had enough in my bank account to cover it and ended up putting it on my credit card. I don't remember the exact amount but it was somewhere in the $150-200 range. I was extra mad as had I known I would have ordered expensive food and drink myself and at least gotten some of my money's worth!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teach her that it’s easiest to just split down the middle than try to do the math and if she can’t afford to do that, don’t go out.

Here’s the moocher!!

Easier for you, but not for those are actually on a budget and don’t want to fund your expensive tastes and insensitivity.

agree -- I remember the days when I was first starting out and I made a lot less than my friends. When they split the bill evenly it really hurt my budget. But I never said anything.

This depends on your friends. I make a lot of money now (as do my friends, generally speaking), but I didn’t always and have always been in the split the bill camp. But no one engages in egregious behavior. Sometimes somebody has one more drink than the rest, or someone orders food while the rest of us just have drinks, but it generally evens out over time. But I agree people should be sensitive to that if you’re a group that splits evenly. Or someone else speaks up for the person who just got ice cream (or whatever) and everyone else splits.

OP, you have the right idea teaching your DD to remember to add tax and tip. On the rare occasion that I pay someone else for my proportional share of a bill I always round up/add a few extra dollars after tax and 20% tip just to be careful and thank the person who put it on their card. I really can’t stand people who are cheap at the expense of their friends.

The people who expect others to foot their bill are the cheap ones. Pay your own bill and stop expecting others to pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a waitress for years in college. It is not difficult to split checks according to chairs. The waiter/waitress should have taken the orders for food and drinks accordingly and they can split any joint items like appetizers or desserts into as many pieces as needed.

That being said, I just always split the bill evenly. Generally speaking it'll all work out in the end if these are people you spend time with on a regular basis.

This doesn't work out fairly at all if you have a mix of drinkers and non-drinkers. At the very least you should have two bills and split those: one for food and one for alcohol.

This, and I don't eat meat, and most things I order are much cheaper and I don't usually get an appetizer or desert. People order more knowing someone else will subsidize them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a broke student I attended a multi-course, preset menu baby shower at an expensive restaurant, and all of the invited guests were presented with a bill at the end of the meal. There went my grocery budget for the week! Still mad at myself for not speaking up.

had you assumed the meal was comped?

i've always i had to pay and am pleasantly surprised when that is not the case.

At a baby shower?? Yes, I assumed the cost of the shower was covered by the person(s) hosting the shower as I have never been to a baby or bridal shower where guests were expected to pay for anything (besides bringing a gift). There was a formal paper invitation and everything - not a casual "let's all take Maggie out to celebrate her pregnancy."

I took a friend out for dinner with a bunch of her friends for her birthday around 2001 or so. Everyone paid the menu price of their item and no more. No tax, no tip, nothing. So I had to fork over like another $100+ at a time when that was a LOT of money for me.

Anonymous wrote:I went out with a group of colleagues during a conference in NYC. I didn’t know many of them, we were from all over. The restaurant refused to split the check and two grad students slipped out without paying their portion. Was a nightmare to get it resolved. I needed an individual check for reimbursement purposes and couldn’t get it, so ended up paying my share out of pocket plus a portion for the grad students. Many here will roll their eyes, but as a single mom working two jobs, it was not ideal.

how can folks do that? my parents would've crushed me if they had heard that I had done that (skip out).

Anonymous wrote:When I was a broke student I attended a multi-course, preset menu baby shower at an expensive restaurant, and all of the invited guests were presented with a bill at the end of the meal. There went my grocery budget for the week! Still mad at myself for not speaking up.

had you assumed the meal was comped?

i've always i had to pay and am pleasantly surprised when that is not the case.

A few years after college, my live-in BF was out of work due to a mental illness. He received limited disability, but it didn't cover our expenses let alone his med bills. I attended a BD party for a friend. I ordered the cheapest item on the menu and no drinks because I really had no extra money - I attended to be there for my friend and allow myself an evening out during a very hard time. Her lawyer friend with rich parents shamed me for not putting more money into the till even though equally sharing the meal was never discussed (and not a practice to which I was accustomed - people pitched in based on what they consumed). I quietly explained that I had put in enough for my meal, a portion of my friend's, and the tip portion, but that was not enough for lawyer friend. It was really ugly.

And once at the beginning of grad school, a woman refused to put in more money, not even enough to cover her portion, even though dividing the bill equally was discussed at the beginning of the meal.

I have been in situations where folks will say, "I'm only going to get a drink and no food," to signal they are not paying for Jack Smith's five Manhattans and I totally get that.

Anonymous wrote:I was a waitress for years in college. It is not difficult to split checks according to chairs. The waiter/waitress should have taken the orders for food and drinks accordingly and they can split any joint items like appetizers or desserts into as many pieces as needed.

That being said, I just always split the bill evenly. Generally speaking it'll all work out in the end if these are people you spend time with on a regular basis.

This doesn't work out fairly at all if you have a mix of drinkers and non-drinkers. At the very least you should have two bills and split those: one for food and one for alcohol.

I don’t drink and won’t pay someone else’s heavy alcohol tab. And they don’t want me to.