Anonymous
Post 05/17/2024 18:37     Subject: Sad about this
He either has executive function issues or doesn’t want to go on vacation with you. About the work stuff - unless you tell us what it is, we can’t give an opinion.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2024 18:06     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Surprised to hear how common this is. If my husband were a doctor who didn’t know how to treat something in his specialty I’d be concerned. Ya’ll sound unperturbed.


You, clearly, have no idea how often doctors consult colleagues - at least good doctors.


Consulting a colleague for a complex issue is different than what PP wrote about an ortho who has to google sprained ankles. :)


All medicine is complex. That's why the call it "practicing medicine". Just when you think you're an expert, something happens that isn't what you were expecting. That doesn't make it "complex". It just makes it different enough that (a good doctor) will consult with someone who may have experienced it before.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2024 13:31     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:Dating great guy but twice I have asked him to help me with something that is squarely in his field of expertise and both times he tried but failed to fix the problem. His attempt to fix consisted of googling the answer online. This makes me sad like I question how good he really is at his job. I’ve also been telling him since January that it’s important to me that we take a trip or travel together this summer and he hasn’t even given me dates yet and now it’s last minute and options are limited (and still no dates given). I’ve told him that if budget is an issue we can stay domestic/modest but it’s very important I get to take a summer break with him. He loves me that’s not the issue. I wonder if he’s really as competent as I thought and am sad about it.


What does he do, OP? Could it be you don't understand his work or his field well enough and are maybe assuming he should be good at something that's not actually his job? For example, I work for a technology company as a product manager and my wife (and others) assume it's the same as being IT specialist and or a coder, which are very different roles.
Anonymous
Post 05/17/2024 13:13     Subject: Sad about this
Many lawyers are prohibited from giving legal advice to people who aren't clients. Many are also scared to give bad advice about a topic outside their field.

By the way, being good at analyzing the tax code and writing memos about tax problems is not the same as being good at filling out tax forms.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 16:01     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Over lunch we discussed and he gave me dates. Trip planning starts this weekend.


Are you going to tell us what he does and what you asked him/had him do that led you to think he might not be competent? Plenty of posters gave examples, now what was the real one?


No I’m not, nosy pants.


You are so odd. I bet he breaks up with you soon anyways. You seem like you're A LOT to have to deal with.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 15:21     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Over lunch we discussed and he gave me dates. Trip planning starts this weekend.


Are you going to tell us what he does and what you asked him/had him do that led you to think he might not be competent? Plenty of posters gave examples, now what was the real one?


No I’m not, nosy pants.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 14:47     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:OP. Over lunch we discussed and he gave me dates. Trip planning starts this weekend.


Are you going to tell us what he does and what you asked him/had him do that led you to think he might not be competent? Plenty of posters gave examples, now what was the real one?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 14:45     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Surprised to hear how common this is. If my husband were a doctor who didn’t know how to treat something in his specialty I’d be concerned. Ya’ll sound unperturbed.


You, clearly, have no idea how often doctors consult colleagues - at least good doctors.


Consulting a colleague for a complex issue is different than what PP wrote about an ortho who has to google sprained ankles.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 14:44     Subject: Sad about this
OP. Over lunch we discussed and he gave me dates. Trip planning starts this weekend.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 14:41     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:Dating great guy but twice I have asked him to help me with something that is squarely in his field of expertise and both times he tried but failed to fix the problem. His attempt to fix consisted of googling the answer online. This makes me sad like I question how good he really is at his job. I’ve also been telling him since January that it’s important to me that we take a trip or travel together this summer and he hasn’t even given me dates yet and now it’s last minute and options are limited (and still no dates given). I’ve told him that if budget is an issue we can stay domestic/modest but it’s very important I get to take a summer break with him. He loves me that’s not the issue. I wonder if he’s really as competent as I thought and am sad about it.



He's an orthopedic surgeon and had to google how to treat a sprained ankle? Weird. Master's in Electrical Engineering and can't rewire anything in the house? Normal. (THat's me. I work in defense on totally unrelated systems, I'm not an electrician).

Summer options are not limited. My DH hasn't planned a trip in 25 yrs, and that's fine with me. His strengths are elsewhere.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 14:34     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. Surprised to hear how common this is. If my husband were a doctor who didn’t know how to treat something in his specialty I’d be concerned. Ya’ll sound unperturbed.


Doctors go to use resources ALL the time if they need help trouble shooting something. Which it seems like is what her boyfriend did (googled it).


Exactly. My very good friend is an ER doctor and his two year old dislocated his shoulder. He was looking up how to put it back in place since he hadn't done it on a child in a very long time if ever. No big deal.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 13:55     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t testing him, I really thought he’d be able to help bc it’s his area. He loves helping with things and loves to be asked.


What does he do and what did you ask him to do?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 13:52     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:My DH is a tax lawyer but hadn't filed his taxes for years when we were dating. I do them every year. He does other things well.


Ha, I'm a tax lawyer and my husband says I'm completely useless when it comes to taxes. I practice in a very niche are that has very little application to most people's lives and I don't even do my own tax returns (I mean I don't prepare them, I file them).
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 13:35     Subject: Sad about this
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Posters shouldn’t comment if they can’t or won’t read. OP suggested they travel together and cover their own expenses, she is not demanding a trip.

- not OP


She is demanding a trip though isn’t she. That’s why she posted. Because she did not get answer she was expecting from the dude. An answer nonetheless.


No. She’s not saying that, no matter how many times you write it.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 12:39     Subject: Sad about this
I think as long as you’re paying your taxes it’s not a huge deal to file late.