Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 11:12     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm thinking OP is a troll.

First she has "young children"
and later she has "a surprise kid"

Ugh who wants either of those at 50!j


I know, right? By the time I am 50, my youngest will be in college. Did she have a surprise baby at 48? How is this even possible?


She was 36, not 48. Her young child is not that young.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 11:11     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is the DH is older and all his friends and peers are done having kids and he’s resentful he has this oops baby


OP said she was 36 when she had her last child and that her child is now 6. That doesn’t exactly sound like an oops baby. OP just has an older husband.

I would not want to go to Africa. That is not my cup of tea but if I really wanted to go, pulling a 6 year old out of school for a week is totally doable. I pulled mine out last year for a trip to Asia and the year before for a trip to Disney. I wouldn’t do it for a kid in high school but for any other age, it is fine.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 11:09     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP. I recognize that I probably am a martyr.

Trip location was in Africa last week smack in the middle of school. We are in DC. No parents to look after kids if I skip town/continent. I think I should have been clear with my husband that it was not okay for him to join the couples trip and ditch me. Who does that? I do feel alienated by the trip organizer and especially his wife. It was not like they paid for anything. And it is well known in the social circle that I am the one that has a full time job but still does the lions share of the child rearing since husband is always traveling. Right now he iin London for pleasure and work. He will be out for three weeks.


Sorry but this trip has absolutely nothing to do with you. This is someone else’s birthday celebration. You and your child did not factor into this at all. You sound ridiculous.

I wouldn’t mind doing Africa for my dh’s 50th.


Same. Where in Africa, OP?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 11:09     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:I'm thinking OP is a troll.

First she has "young children"
and later she has "a surprise kid"

Ugh who wants either of those at 50!j


I know, right? By the time I am 50, my youngest will be in college. Did she have a surprise baby at 48? How is this even possible?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 10:59     Subject: Re:Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:How is May 15th smack in the middle of the school year? Ok...


Actually it’s near the end of the school year, which in my experience is harder. But also an odd thing to harp on.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 10:49     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
I think the problem is the DH is older and all his friends and peers are done having kids and he’s resentful he has this oops baby
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2024 10:46     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
How young are your kids, op?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 22:25     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:So you think it’s okay to leave a 6 year old with a babysitter and have both parents jaunt off to Africa for a week? Sorry but no.


So you are only 42-43. Go to Africa for your own 50th birthday in a few years. I really don’t understand why you are resentful.

You probably had a bunch of recent 40th birthday celebrations with your own friends.

We are in our mid forties. Our friends celebrated many 40th birthday trips just the moms. It is usually when kids are no longer nursing and can easily leave kid home with other parent, the way your Dh is leaving kid with you.

Maybe for our 50th, we also will do couple trips. I think by then my son will be in college and I would want to do a big family trip for my 50th.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2024 22:07     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
So you think it’s okay to leave a 6 year old with a babysitter and have both parents jaunt off to Africa for a week? Sorry but no.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 18:59     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I had my last kid at 36. I guess they were smarter about having all of their kids before their early 30s…..I’m not 50 but I do have one other kid in college so yes, agreed, poor planning for having them so far apart.

Thank you all for all your advice. I do want it be a better person and not have the resentment gnaw at me and have someone objective tell me I’m wrong!


36 isn’t even old to have your last child. I had my third at 38. If I was invited to some big trip I really wanted to go to, I would try to make arrangements for my child and go.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 18:01     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:OP. I recognize that I probably am a martyr.

Trip location was in Africa last week smack in the middle of school. We are in DC. No parents to look after kids if I skip town/continent. I think I should have been clear with my husband that it was not okay for him to join the couples trip and ditch me. Who does that? I do feel alienated by the trip organizer and especially his wife. It was not like they paid for anything. And it is well known in the social circle that I am the one that has a full time job but still does the lions share of the child rearing since husband is always traveling. Right now he iin London for pleasure and work. He will be out for three weeks.


Sorry but this trip has absolutely nothing to do with you. This is someone else’s birthday celebration. You and your child did not factor into this at all. You sound ridiculous.

I wouldn’t mind doing Africa for my dh’s 50th.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 16:26     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I had my last kid at 36. I guess they were smarter about having all of their kids before their early 30s…..I’m not 50 but I do have one other kid in college so yes, agreed, poor planning for having them so far apart.

Thank you all for all your advice. I do want it be a better person and not have the resentment gnaw at me and have someone objective tell me I’m wrong!

More troll lies.

What happened to the "young children"? Now it's just one oopsie baby?


None of this even sounds remotely real
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 15:59     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
I'm surprised you even have friends. How dare they not cater to you and plan their lives around your needs!
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 15:56     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
OP here. I had my last kid at 36. I guess they were smarter about having all of their kids before their early 30s…..I’m not 50 but I do have one other kid in college so yes, agreed, poor planning for having them so far apart.

Thank you all for all your advice. I do want it be a better person and not have the resentment gnaw at me and have someone objective tell me I’m wrong!
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2024 15:49     Subject: Irrational jealousy?
Anonymous wrote:OP your husband already travels a lot for long periods of time right? Probably figured hey what's another week if wifey can't go.
Your problem is not just the party and it's not helping you to place blame on the birthday person or that trip planner.


This. Your problem is the fact that your DH sucks. I would have zero problem with DH having gone, but he truly is an equal partner. Yearly we do solo vacations with friends, vacations with each other, and vacations with our kid. Zero resentment because we are both very involved on a day to day basis. Fix the issues with his involvement and your marriage. Being resentful towards your friends for not forming their lives around you will just make you miserable.