Op here. Thanks everyone! I didn’t realize the thread had been revived so I lost track.

I drink one cup of coffee every morning, to answer one of the PPs questions.

I skipped wine a couple of nights this past week but then Mother’s Day came and I found it really hard to get through. I’m trying to get back on the wagon again today and see what happens.

This grief has hit me in ways I never anticipated or imagined. I don’t have an easy relationship with my family of origin, but my father was my safe space, the one calming force for me. I still have my mom and sibling (and husband and kids of course) but it feels like I’m free floating through life now, without that one grounding, calming force that kept me steady. It’s been a few months now but the pain, guilt and grief still feel so raw.

I’m seeing a therapist and pursuing more intense therapy soon. It scares me that this is what life looks like now.

I so appreciate everyone’s kind words and advice. This message board has helped me so much through the years I can’t begin to explain.

Some people feel the same about chocolate.

Some people say they can't function without coffee. ( I hate the taste so never have it).

How much of this need for wine is psychological?

If it creeps up to two every night, worry about it. But a small glass every night? For me, a glass of wine at night is like my internal signal that my productive time is over and I'm on my time.

Try swapping out wine for exercise some nights.

It’s fine unless it begins to take 2-3 glasses to do the same as one now. Just be careful and drink good stuff!

I'm torn because the amount is definitely not an issue but the way you describe it is a little bit of a red flag. It's possible your tolerance will mean it doesn't take the edge off as.much over time. How you deal with that is sort of the key.

So what's going on now isn't a big deal, just keep an eye in yourself.