A lot of it is genetics. I'm late 50s, don't dye my hair (no greys), don't use any treatments (Dove unscented soap is the only thing I've ever used on my face), and don't have any of the tells people have referred to in identifying "old" people. I am frequently mistaken for much younger, which is fine with me. I exercise daily, and am more fit and strong than many who are much younger than I am. Our kids are launched/young adults (although one is planning to go back to grad school in the Fall), and we are happy empty nesters, who will be retiring soon

The ageing eyes isn’t the wrinkles or the skin. It is the eyes themselves. I know what the pp meant. Also people cognitively slow down as they age. I am 51 and used to be really good at boxing. Super quick. Now I just move a bit slower. I’m still good at it but not the same as 10 years ago. These are types of things that are really true markers of age.

Skin, hair and even body can be changed with dye, surgery etc but not those more subtle changes that mark age.

In my early 50s I sold my company and then spent two years looking for another business to acquire. During that down period I went to the gym almost every day and got in the best shape of my life. At the same time we became empty nesters and we took great advantage of that empty house. It was like our pre-kid days! 50 is old if you let it be old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The many threads here about how people over 40 who divorce shouldn't want a life partner again are perplexing. For most UMC people in their 40s, they're only halfway through their life.

And I'm confused by the people who imagine that people in their 50s no longer have an interest in sex, as if they are old rickety people whose bones can't handle it or something. I understand that those who are very young, like under 25, see anyone over 50 as an ancient grandma. But anyone in their 30s or older who has a job and is in daily contact with "peers" who are over 50 has no excuse. This IG post features celebrities who look better at 50 than most of us looked at 25. But it still makes this point. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6mfFgnyCuf/?igsh=MXRvd2ZneWRlOWo1eg%3D%3D&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR31Ty3JF-tpzWN64lH0xcGxI3HrY9Pfyx9Ttxam-uh7duQBGPVoVqwiBiY_aem_AYHNq9AAyzOCxpCtWqPYY7ELdZw_rSov4ToJG91b0njRYAYXowqjjCEyqBxxJgBGYXA6qYUS1IRrwaRvYjGXnJK9

It's not about sex, looks or rickety bones. I would never want a life partner again because you (women in particular) have to give up so much of yourself to be in a healthy marriage. You have inlaws, kids, ex's, aging parents, careers, homes, assets, etc. It's not just two people agreeing to stay together. A second marriage at age 50 is just so different than a second marriage in your 20s-30s. I would NEVER give so much of myself away for a second marriage.

Exactly. Not wanting to remarry has nothing to do with feeling old and everything to do with not wanting to add liabilities to my life. There is data showing women are betting off single, while men are better off married. Once a woman is financially secure and not looking to have more kids, there's not much to gain in a late-life marriage and a whole lot to risk.

Anonymous wrote:The many threads here about how people over 40 who divorce shouldn't want a life partner again are perplexing. For most UMC people in their 40s, they're only halfway through their life.

And I'm confused by the people who imagine that people in their 50s no longer have an interest in sex, as if they are old rickety people whose bones can't handle it or something. I understand that those who are very young, like under 25, see anyone over 50 as an ancient grandma. But anyone in their 30s or older who has a job and is in daily contact with "peers" who are over 50 has no excuse. This IG post features celebrities who look better at 50 than most of us looked at 25. But it still makes this point. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6mfFgnyCuf/?igsh=MXRvd2ZneWRlOWo1eg%3D%3D&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR31Ty3JF-tpzWN64lH0xcGxI3HrY9Pfyx9Ttxam-uh7duQBGPVoVqwiBiY_aem_AYHNq9AAyzOCxpCtWqPYY7ELdZw_rSov4ToJG91b0njRYAYXowqjjCEyqBxxJgBGYXA6qYUS1IRrwaRvYjGXnJK9

It's not about sex, looks or rickety bones. I would never want a life partner again because you (women in particular) have to give up so much of yourself to be in a healthy marriage. You have inlaws, kids, ex's, aging parents, careers, homes, assets, etc. It's not just two people agreeing to stay together. A second marriage at age 50 is just so different than a second marriage in your 20s-30s. I would NEVER give so much of myself away for a second marriage.

I can't really speak for myself, but my husband looks way younger than 58. He has always been thin and he exercises and so do I. His hair is not gray. His beard has some gray, so he doesn't look 25. We adopted a baby 7 years ago (spare me the lecture about how selfish we are) and we vowed to make sure that he had the same "parents" as his peers. We do everything all of his friends' parents do, if not more. We are avid skiiers so we go out west 2 times a year and do 6-7 weekends in WV during the winter. During the summer we go out west to hike, mountain bike, canoe, etc. We go camping. (car camping) My husband is also planning a hiking/ backpacking trip with our son.

On other fronts, while unfortunately, I am suffering the libido loss that comes with menopause, my husband would be up for sex 4-5 times a week, without the need for any pharmaceutical assistance.

Some people are dealt a rotten hand with health issues or injuries. However, while we can't control getting older, we can control, to a certain extent, how we age. Eating well and exercising go a long way as do regular checkups at the GP and the dentist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

+1 that’s the result of non-stop effort - not just exercise but treatments, surgery, etc. - it’s not natural aging. It’s not something for the mere mortal (without bottomless funds).

^not something to hope for.

Oh I also forgot to mention, something really weird has happened over the last few years regarding my body strength. At 51 I am the strongest I have ver been in my life, and I've been exercising/lifting since my 20's (not body builder stuff just regular strength training). So stronger at 51 than at 31 is kinda weird and not sure why this would or could be.

I'm stronger in my 50s than I was in my 20s or 30s but I put this down to "taking it more seriously" now than I did back then. In my 50s, I got some proper training, and I found a good barbell program and followed it with discipline. When I was younger I went into the gym and often as not just "did what I felt like doing".

Stick to it and you will keep getting stronger!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

Don't be a fool, they are trying to get in your pants. Actual 21 year olds look (and are) so young. You may look younger, but you do not look like you are 21, you just don't. Go hang out a university if you need some reality.

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

+1 that’s the result of non-stop effort - not just exercise but treatments, surgery, etc. - it’s not natural aging. It’s not something for the mere mortal (without bottomless funds).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The many threads here about how people over 40 who divorce shouldn't want a life partner again are perplexing. For most UMC people in their 40s, they're only halfway through their life.

And I'm confused by the people who imagine that people in their 50s no longer have an interest in sex, as if they are old rickety people whose bones can't handle it or something. I understand that those who are very young, like under 25, see anyone over 50 as an ancient grandma. But anyone in their 30s or older who has a job and is in daily contact with "peers" who are over 50 has no excuse. This IG post features celebrities who look better at 50 than most of us looked at 25. But it still makes this point. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6mfFgnyCuf/?igsh=MXRvd2ZneWRlOWo1eg%3D%3D&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR31Ty3JF-tpzWN64lH0xcGxI3HrY9Pfyx9Ttxam-uh7duQBGPVoVqwiBiY_aem_AYHNq9AAyzOCxpCtWqPYY7ELdZw_rSov4ToJG91b0njRYAYXowqjjCEyqBxxJgBGYXA6qYUS1IRrwaRvYjGXnJK9

I think whether 50 is "old" is really a case by case basis. I am a 51 yo male who looks early 40's, exercises daily, plays ice hockey (no checking), and has young kids, so no one thinks I am 51. I'm also gregarious which I suppose can present as a bit immature (this is fine with me). I also know people who are 50 with beer belly's, etc. and they look old (no offense). 50 is a really weird age with a lot of natural variability. If you take care of yourself you can still look really good. Oh I also forgot to mention, something really weird has happened over the last few years regarding my body strength. At 51 I am the strongest I have ver been in my life, and I've been exercising/lifting since my 20's (not body builder stuff just regular strength training). So stronger at 51 than at 31 is kinda weird and not sure why this would or could be.

Strength can continue to increase into later age. Mobility and speed inevitably declines.

Speed, yes, but not necessarily mobililty. I got my splits and backbend back in my 40s - I haven't been able to do that since I was a teen. I can continue stretching and lifting like this for a long time and feel great.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The many threads here about how people over 40 who divorce shouldn't want a life partner again are perplexing. For most UMC people in their 40s, they're only halfway through their life.

And I'm confused by the people who imagine that people in their 50s no longer have an interest in sex, as if they are old rickety people whose bones can't handle it or something. I understand that those who are very young, like under 25, see anyone over 50 as an ancient grandma. But anyone in their 30s or older who has a job and is in daily contact with "peers" who are over 50 has no excuse. This IG post features celebrities who look better at 50 than most of us looked at 25. But it still makes this point. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6mfFgnyCuf/?igsh=MXRvd2ZneWRlOWo1eg%3D%3D&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR31Ty3JF-tpzWN64lH0xcGxI3HrY9Pfyx9Ttxam-uh7duQBGPVoVqwiBiY_aem_AYHNq9AAyzOCxpCtWqPYY7ELdZw_rSov4ToJG91b0njRYAYXowqjjCEyqBxxJgBGYXA6qYUS1IRrwaRvYjGXnJK9

I think whether 50 is "old" is really a case by case basis. I am a 51 yo male who looks early 40's, exercises daily, plays ice hockey (no checking), and has young kids, so no one thinks I am 51. I'm also gregarious which I suppose can present as a bit immature (this is fine with me). I also know people who are 50 with beer belly's, etc. and they look old (no offense). 50 is a really weird age with a lot of natural variability. If you take care of yourself you can still look really good. Oh I also forgot to mention, something really weird has happened over the last few years regarding my body strength. At 51 I am the strongest I have ver been in my life, and I've been exercising/lifting since my 20's (not body builder stuff just regular strength training). So stronger at 51 than at 31 is kinda weird and not sure why this would or could be.

Strength can continue to increase into later age. Mobility and speed inevitably declines.

Anonymous wrote:The many threads here about how people over 40 who divorce shouldn't want a life partner again are perplexing. For most UMC people in their 40s, they're only halfway through their life.

And I'm confused by the people who imagine that people in their 50s no longer have an interest in sex, as if they are old rickety people whose bones can't handle it or something. I understand that those who are very young, like under 25, see anyone over 50 as an ancient grandma. But anyone in their 30s or older who has a job and is in daily contact with "peers" who are over 50 has no excuse. This IG post features celebrities who look better at 50 than most of us looked at 25. But it still makes this point. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6mfFgnyCuf/?igsh=MXRvd2ZneWRlOWo1eg%3D%3D&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR31Ty3JF-tpzWN64lH0xcGxI3HrY9Pfyx9Ttxam-uh7duQBGPVoVqwiBiY_aem_AYHNq9AAyzOCxpCtWqPYY7ELdZw_rSov4ToJG91b0njRYAYXowqjjCEyqBxxJgBGYXA6qYUS1IRrwaRvYjGXnJK9

I think whether 50 is "old" is really a case by case basis. I am a 51 yo male who looks early 40's, exercises daily, plays ice hockey (no checking), and has young kids, so no one thinks I am 51. I'm also gregarious which I suppose can present as a bit immature (this is fine with me). I also know people who are 50 with beer belly's, etc. and they look old (no offense). 50 is a really weird age with a lot of natural variability. If you take care of yourself you can still look really good. Oh I also forgot to mention, something really weird has happened over the last few years regarding my body strength. At 51 I am the strongest I have ver been in my life, and I've been exercising/lifting since my 20's (not body builder stuff just regular strength training). So stronger at 51 than at 31 is kinda weird and not sure why this would or could be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

I believe her.

Im not gonna say why cause people on here just cant seem to believe that some people look great for their age - more attractive than younger people.

I think there are some great young looking 50 year olds. But no amount of injectable or surgeries can take away the aging eyes and demeanor of a 50 year old. Just enjoy the ride and don’t try to be what you’re not.

Second paragraph makes no sense: I am 46. I don’t have crows feet. My eyes have not aged at all. People early 30s have wrinkles around their eyes, but I don’t. I claim to look 10 years younger not 20 years younger but I don’t think in 3 1/2 years when I turn 50. I’m suddenly gonna look terrible with aging eyes because I literally literally do not have one wrinkle. I have never done Botox or any injectables or anything like that.

My ex is 50. He has a demeanor of a 35-year-old.

I think your second paragraph is way off base in describing people around 50.

Love your post.
Im the same but people keep denying its possible lol!

Ive also never had botox or any treatments. Ive had one facial in my whole life. Maybe thats the key...leave your face alone. I dont know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally agree with you, OP, but please don't use celebrities as examples of what 50s people look like.

-53 yr old.

It all depends on the person. Many examples of two people roughly the same age, one looks great and the other one looks old and broken.

Very true. I am 42 and younger men tell me I don't look a day over 21. My mother also is 65 and has no wrinkles. So i get away with dating younger men and I often look younger than those younger men as well

I’m the same age. Younger men and women say the same to me. Hate to break it to you, but they’re lying. You look youthful, but you don’t look 21.

I believe her.

Im not gonna say why cause people on here just cant seem to believe that some people look great for their age - more attractive than younger people.

I think there are some great young looking 50 year olds. But no amount of injectable or surgeries can take away the aging eyes and demeanor of a 50 year old. Just enjoy the ride and don’t try to be what you’re not.

Second paragraph makes no sense: I am 46. I don’t have crows feet. My eyes have not aged at all. People early 30s have wrinkles around their eyes, but I don’t. I claim to look 10 years younger not 20 years younger but I don’t think in 3 1/2 years when I turn 50. I’m suddenly gonna look terrible with aging eyes because I literally literally do not have one wrinkle. I have never done Botox or any injectables or anything like that.

My ex is 50. He has a demeanor of a 35-year-old.

I think your second paragraph is way off base in describing people around 50.

Love your post.
Im the same but people keep denying its possible lol!