Anonymous
04/29/2024 13:01
Subject: Love triangle wwyd?
Anonymous wrote:
OP here and I think this is accurate. I’m pretty sure Jeff has liked DD for most of the school year. She has acted totally platonic. He probably wants a girlfriend and realized he needs to move on.
There you have it. He always wanted to be more than a friend, and now that he has realized its not happening, he is moving on. It sucks but it almost always plays out like this. Should never overly invest in opposite sex friends where there is one sided romantic interest.
Her best bet is probably to encourage Larla and Jeff in their couplehood, otherwise most likely Larla will view her as a threat to her new boyfriend and she will lose both of them. She may anyway.
Anonymous
04/29/2024 12:37
Subject: Love triangle wwyd?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.
OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.
OP, I agree with some of the other posters that you can try to have a conversation with her about it. However, I don’t know that can do much to stop it if she is determined to give the ring to him. I know if I pushed my DD she would still do it. Unfortunately, this is your DD’s life experience to have and you can try to make it easier/gentler but I’m not sure you can stop it entirely.
It’s so hard to watch them go through stuff like this. I’m sorry.
+1 Same for my DD, they don’t trust mom’s advice
Some moms give terrible advice. Like mine.
I wish my mom had given me advice! She was a great listener, but what I really needed as guidance. I made really bad decisions as a teen.
Is no advice better than bad advice? My mother's "guidance" was either useless, incorrect or awful. "Conditioner is terrible for your hair and will make you go bald." "Say hello to everyone you know, every time you see them, to make them feel good." That's what you were missing out on over at my house. It took until I was 11 and a friend yelled at me for constantly interrupting our conversation as we walked down the school hallway to say hi to EVERY SINGLE person I saw that I knew for me to learn NOT to do what my mother had taught me. I was in HS before I was finally allowed to use conditioner. No other hair products aside from shampoo and conditioner, and I have curly frizzy hair that my mother INSISTED I had to brush thoroughly every single day with a brush. I could go on and on.
Anonymous
04/29/2024 12:33
Subject: Love triangle wwyd?
Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t your DD and Jeff ever get together? Does she like him and was just too chicken to tell him (rings tells me this is likely) or is he firmly in the friend zone and she just liked the attention?
My 16 year old has had numerous friends who are boys since 5th grade. Unless they are gay or have been in serious relationships with one of her girlfriends the whole time there isn’t a SINGLE one of these boys who didn’t express romantic feelings to her at some point. I’ve watched this play out so many times. She’s either involved herself with them and eventually ruined the friendship, or she turned them down and they either maintained their “hoping she changes her mind” boy bsf status or they moved on as soon as they find a girl to date.
I think your daughter probably turned him down in some way (maybe even unintentionally, as shy inexperienced ppl tend to) and now he’s moving on like the last example.
I wish it wasn’t this way. I think these male/female friendships bring a lot of value (and, he may come back to her later…many of my daughters boy bsf have) but you have to be realistic about them.
You can’t fix it though. I’d encourage her to find some other friends asap though.
OP here and I think this is accurate. I’m pretty sure Jeff has liked DD for most of the school year. She has acted totally platonic. He probably wants a girlfriend and realized he needs to move on.
Anonymous
04/29/2024 12:00
Subject: Love triangle wwyd?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Please do not let her give him any rings.
OP here. Ugh. I agree, but also I hate this. DD selected and purchased these on her own. Spent $60 of her own money. Now I tell her she shouldn’t give it. There’s a strong possibility that I’m going to be blamed for the outcome of things if I start telling her what to do.
OP, I agree with some of the other posters that you can try to have a conversation with her about it. However, I don’t know that can do much to stop it if she is determined to give the ring to him. I know if I pushed my DD she would still do it. Unfortunately, this is your DD’s life experience to have and you can try to make it easier/gentler but I’m not sure you can stop it entirely.
It’s so hard to watch them go through stuff like this. I’m sorry.
+1 Same for my DD, they don’t trust mom’s advice
Some moms give terrible advice. Like mine.
I wish my mom had given me advice! She was a great listener, but what I really needed as guidance. I made really bad decisions as a teen.